So there was battle; Lawyer Prigg
Was told this tale of woe;
The Lawyer rubbed his bony hands
And said, “I see; quite so!”
“A case of trespass,”—“Ay zo ’t be!”
Said Bumpkin, feeling big;
“Now mak un pay vor’t, mak un pay;
It beant so much th’ pig.”
“No, no, it’s not so much the pig,
That were a matter small;
Indeed, good Bumpkin, we may say
It’s not the pig at all!
“It’s more the principle involved,
The rights of man, you see”—
“Ay, ay,” quoth Tom; “the devil’s in’t
’F I beant as good as he.”
There never was a man more prompt
Or swift to strike a blow:
Give but the word, and Charger Prigg
Was down upon the foe.
The Letter, Writ, and Statement went
Like lightning, thunder, rain;
Inspection and Discovery rode
Like Uhlans o’er the plain!
Then Interrogatories flew
Without procrastination:
As when the ambushed outposts give
A deadly salutation.
Now Snooks’s lawyer was a man
To wrong would never pander;
And like a high-souled Pleader drew
A Counterclaim for slander;
And then with cautious skill behind
The legal outworks clambers;
Until dislodged, he held his own
Entrenched in Judges’ Chambers.
At length came battle hot and fierce,
And points reserved as though
The case must be economized,
Not murdered at a blow.