About noon I found the Bannian at his own house, and telling him that he was expected abroad, he made himself ready to go with me, in our way thither we met with some of his most intimate friends, and some of mine, those which I thought would further our design I singled out, and took them along with us. The Captain had made ample provision for us, and understanding from me that the Bannian was obliged to abstain from some sort of meat, he had to be sure provided none thereof; having feasted with all the jollity imaginable, firing several pieces of Ordinance according to Command; now Sir, said the Captain, that you might know we come not into your company empty-handed, or that we will take up any of your Goods and Commodities without paying you for them according to contract, I will shew you something which shall be a Secret to every body else, so unlocking a Chest, he shew’d them a great quantity of his own Gold, and his Undertakers; if this be not enough, see there of this friend of mine fifteen hundred pieces, and of that mans there, five hundred, with a thousand more if occasion should serve.
This made the Bannian and his friends admire to see so great a quantity of Gold, however he seem’d to take but little notice, only saying, you have a great deal of money, Sir, and we have a great deal of valuable Commodities, which you shall not want, but trust them to my procurement for you, and you shall not fail in your expectation; he spake English good enough to let us understand, that he would be our Servant to do our business, and the Merchant too, to credit us if we so pleas’d. What Goods we took of him at first we paid him ready money before delivered, and by degrees caus’d him to send some abroad, and paid him three or four days after: And to the intent we might not be in the least suspected for any knavery, I advised the Scrivener, Drugster, and Gregory (their Hanger-on) to give out they intended to stay in the Country some considerable while, that what goods they bought, they would send for England, when the Captain should return thither, and to confirm the truth of this report, they built them an house, befitting the entertainment of them, and the securing what Goods they should procure by way of Merchandize, servants I procur’d them, such as I thought would be for their turn, both Male and Female, but if they intended to have their Victuals well drest, they must not expect the Cookery from them; however they resolv’d to try the ability of their new servants, who handled the matter so scurvily, that when it was brought to Table, there was not one, but was of a different oppinion in giving a name for what was brought before them, not knowing whether it was boil’d, bak’d, broyl’d, or roasted; for the looks thereof seem’d to have a touch of them all; so that it was concluded by all that the Proverb was never better verifi’d than now; God sends meat, and the Devil sends Cooks; and so any Stranger would have taken them, they being of his own smoaky complexion. Wherefore to avoid these foul inconveniences of sluttish feeding, it was agreed on, that Mall (alias William) Doll (alias George) notwithstanding their Breeches, should officiate as Cooks, their friends should be caterers, and their menials Skullions.
CHAP. XXII.
Latroon in order to his returning to Europe gets a great deal of Goods, most on credit; he suspects his wife of some villanous Design, discovers her wicked inclination, and hints at the common cause of Cuckoldry. She under pretence of loving visit poyson’d one of the supposed young-men[young-men], and had like to have dispatcht the other, and afterwards kills her self: her Assistant in this Murther was found not far distant from Bantam torn to pieces by wild Beasts, three days after the Fact.
In this Equipage our friends were in, whilst the Captain, and my self were daily bringing in Grist to the Mill; the Bannian according to his promise, with speedy sedulity procur’d us what ever we desired, and to encourage his Industry had daily (almost) encouragements for his quick dispatch. Our business now ran on wheels, neither did the pleasures of our new Houskeepers slacken in their carreer, they had every thing which the Country afforded, and more, for they had two such matchless European girls, which all India could not parallel, whose luster was the brighter by reason of those dark and dusky foils which were always near them.
But damn’d be that cursed instrument that totally eclipst the light of those two Wandring stars, which must ne’er shine more in our Hemisphere. Who would have thought a wife, after so much penitence and submission (being obsequious beyond imitation) should renew her revenge, and prosecute it to death. It is true, the found me remiss in the cooling of her amorous Heats, but that from the first I used her to, that she might not expect it when it came, as a duty, but a courtesie, or a very signal favour, by reason hereof the was void of frequent expectation; had the been as white, and as lovely fair as any of my own Country-women, I would have serv’d her in the like manner; if I intended to make my wife absolutely my own. For in my time I have observ’d at least an hundred Examples of this nature; Women, whom I am confident might have ran the Race of their lives in the way of modesty and honesty, had they not been chafed or over heated at first by the ostentatious humour of their hot brained Bride-groome, striving to out-do himself, that he might purchase the esteem of being a lusty man excelling others in strength and vigour; but when the wife shall finde the satisfaction of her desires dis-continued, she will be apt to think her husband was too prodigal at first, and so became Natures Spend-thrift, and now thinks of no other thing than how she shall be supplyed by others. Others again are like some childish appetites, who feeding on some excellent Dish, they never tasted of before, and being exceeding pleasant, eat beyond measure, thinking themselves never to be satisfied, so getting a surfeit, ever after loath what they lov’d, the very sight thereof will even nauseate their stomachs. I say by stinting my wife after this manner, she could not suspect that by rambling abroad, I disappointed her expectations at home, since custom made her believe me indifferently honest. But her revenge was grounded on the Basis of equity, for since she was so far from being jealous, that she allowed me to make use of others, she judged I could not in reason dis-allow her the enjoyment of one or so, especially of my own complexion.
The removal of these two young men (as she supposed, and in that belief courted them to her embraces) she verily believ’d was occasion’d by me, and design’d that she might have no converse with them. Whilst they were in sight of her, she pleas’d her self in viewing them, but being depriv’d of that hourly happiness, she had not so much prudence as to conceal the resentment of her loss, and the injury was done her by me, but exprest (in her manner) to my very face things that carried with them suspitions of a dangerous consequence.
For the prevention thereof, I seemingly show’d much kindness unto her, giving her a many good words, & granting her with all leave to visit those two young-men, with this proviso, she would not wrong me, and all this was to pacifie for the present, till I was ready to go from the implacableness of of her revengful spirit, which is an Inmate properly not onely in her, but in all the Indians her Countrey people. She seem’d hereat to be very well satisfied, but so impatient she was to have a review of them, that she went from me immediately to them, at the sight of them she represented her joy in so many antick shapes, and formes, that all which were present burst out into a great fit of laughter, which she construed in favour of her self, supposing from hence, they were over-joy’d to see her; and what made her believe it the more, was their welcoming her to their new house, in the best manner they could, drinking to her so often (in the best liquors they had) till she was half Sea-over; the heat of the Persian-wine she drank, gave fire to the old train, which should kindle the Magazine of Love, which lay covert in the Cole-pit of her hellish lust; and now breaking like a Hand-granado, the pieces of the shell could not fly faster than her arms did about their necks, there was no warding them, so that they were forc’d to submit to the cruelty of her over-powerful affection. But when she insisted upon the complement thereof, they bade her then desist, for they were resolv’d never to wrong her Husband in that nature, and threatned her, that if she would not be civil, they would acquaint him therewith. Hearing them menace her after that fashion, she retreated and sate down at a distance, and seem’d somewhat pensive, but having spoke some few words to a Black that past by her in the Indian tongue (which I would have understood had I been by) to which there was a sudden reply; she seem’d to throw off her melancholly and re-assume her jolly attempt, telling them that the next day she would come again, if they would make as much of her as they had done then; they told her they would.
I visiting them that evening, they acquainted me how welcome they had made my wife for my sake, how she had renew’d her love, and how preposterously she had manag’d it; in recital thereof we had good sport over a Bowl of Punch: to avoid the dangers of going home late I bade them goodnight. In the morning early coming down I found one of their female Slaves close in discourse with my wife, who seeing me vanished; I suspecting nothing, went to the Bannian about my business, and that day we had so much business to do, that it was near night, before I could visit our friends, to acquaint them what progress I had made therein, and how near it was brought to consummation. But I had no sooner entred the doors, but my ears were entertain’d with the doleful groans of my two disguised Amazons, who lay upon a Matt on the ground, foaming at mouth with the Scrivener & Drugster, & Gregory attending them, offering their utmost assistance, which was to little purpose, since they were ignorant of what they ail’d; as soon as I saw them, I knew they were poyson’d, having seen several in the like condition (a common practice among them upon the least suspition of an injury design’d, or an offence already receiv’d) but knew not what remedy to apply, and whilst I was in consultation with myself what was best to do, I saw Malls teeth drop out of her head, and Gregory going to raise her head, the skin and hair with it came off in his hands like a Perriwig, so did the hair of the other; so strong was the poyson administred, that Mall died in less than half an hour after the reception thereof; but Dorothy escaped ever to a miracle.