It is not to be questioned but that he who had been so Universal a Courtier of Women, and that of all sorts, had met with those one time or another that had paid him off, and he was used to brag himself to be more then a Gentlemen, for he had been oftner then three times at Haddam, he was so well acquainted with all the effects of that disease, and the Remedies against it that he made nothing of it, and he knew several of his quondam Ladies who were then well peppered, to one of these he went, and it was not very difficult for him to purchase that of them which they would very gladly be rid off: and therefore he easily attained his desires, and being thus accompanied, he went to his fresh Mistress, and made her participate in that disease which she had till then been a stranger to, and the Old Man coming soon after in his turn and thinking to have his pleasure with her, had it for the present, but was so paid off that entring into a course of Physick to cure himself of his disease, he was brought so weak that he fell into another though less troublesom yet more dangerous, which was not long in operating its desired effects, for it carried him to his Grave. And thus did our undertaker perform his undertaking, and his Companion was so much a Gentleman as to perform his promise to give the sum of Mony for his reward that had been agreed upon, and our undertaker who had only made use of this young Woman as an Instrument to bring his purpose to effect, caused the young man to give her a reward for what she had unknowingly endured and done.
His Companion was now the better man as having the more Money; but our Gallants stock held out to spend with him, and neither of them made any spare. Our Gallants Mother hearing of his lewd courses, took some of her old Husbands acquaintance and found him out, she and they perswaded him to take up before all were spent, using many arguments to induce him to good Husbandry, and propounding some course for him to take to redeem himself; but he was deaf to all perswasions, and only flouted and laughed at them; telling them that he was resolved to make his dead Father a Lyar, for I remember (said he) that some Friends telling him in his life time I would spend his Estate after his death, he answered that so I might if I would, but he was certain that I would never take so much pleasure in spending it, as he had in getting it. And therefore said he I am resolved to enjoy my full swing in all manner of pleasures, that I may disprove him, and besides (continued he) do you think I am mad to preserve or keep any part of that Estate that was so unlawfully gained by penury and Usury; no such matter, for I am sure it would be to no purpose to attempt it, for I know I shall never thrive while I enjoy any part of it. His Mother and Friends hearing his resolution, by this his Extravagant answer, left him; and he prosecuted his old course of Life so long, that he began really to want Money, and had still spent his Money before he could receive it, some Debts he had still owing him, which supplied him sometimes by fits and girds. He had dealt with a Taylor who had taken much money of him, and gained well by him, but he still paid him one under another, and was still in his debt for the last, this Taylor seeing his Extravagancy, and doubting that in the winding up of the bottom he might loose as much as he had gained, waited on him very diligently for his Money, & pretended such urgent occasions for Mony that he in the end got clear with him.
Our Gallant then desired some more new cloathes, but he gave him only good words and put him off from time to time, till one day our Gentleman meeting this Taylor in Company, asked him why he was not so good as his word to make him a new suit, for said he you know I have been no ill Customer, I owe you nothing: it is confessed (replyed the Taylor) you do owe nothing, but Sir there is a reason and that a very considerable one; why I do not care to deal with you, nor no others of your temper, what reason reply’d our Gallant, this (reply’d the Taylor) you do pay me, but you do call for my Bill, and pay me so suddenly after I have delivered the Cloaths that I have not conveniency to gain so much by you as I do by other Gentlemen, who staying a great while after their Cloathes are made, and indeed till they are worn out e’re they ask for a Bill, or talk of payment, I have the conveniency to enlarge what and how I please because it is forgot what was used, and they being worn out they have not the conveniency of comparing the Bill and cloaths together, this continued the Taylor is a sufficient reason why I do not care for dealing with you further, thus did this Taylor make his excuses which reflecting rather on his own ill dealing then our Gallants, it passed very well with the Company, and our Gallant understanding that his credit was justified could not be angry, but however he knew the Taylor meant quite contrary to what he had said, and he finding his credit would go no further there, and some of his Companions hearing this discourse with him and his Taylor, thought that the Taylor had been mad, and engaged our Gentleman to make use of his, and his Taylor upon the report of this, soon provided him with such Cloathes as he desired, but he did not find the discourse made good for he was forced to wait a long time for his Mony, and now he had spun a fair thread his mony was almost all gone, and being Monyless he was inforced to look out some melancholly place to spin away the time in, upon this account he was a great frequenter of the Temple-walks, which were pleasant, melancholly, and withal safe, for there he was out of danger of being arrested, which he began now to dread, and this walk turned him to a more profitable account as I shall presently relate to you; one day he being very melancholly in his ordinary walk at the Temple, sees one who had Lodgings in that house who was of his acquaintance, they salute each other, and so walk about for some time, at length, the Gentleman tells our Extravagant, that he must beg his pardon, for he could no longer walk with him, being ingaged to cross the water about an affair of Consequence; it then happened to rain, and therefore our Extravagant told him sure Sir you will not go before the Shower is over; that matters not much, replyed the Gentleman, for I will send for my Cloak, and thereupon called for a Porter and directed him to his Chamber, to command his servant to send his Cloak, the Porter went and fetched it accordingly, and so the Gentleman putting it on, departed.
Our Extravagant observing this accordingly, and now being in Querpo without a Cloak, thought he had a fair expedient to get one, and if he were discovered it would pass for a Frolick, whereupon he calls a Porter and sends him to a chamber, whose Master was of his acquaintance, and whom he saw was newly gone out, and ordring the Porter to fetch his Cloak from thence, named himself the Master of the Chamber; the Porter went, and the Servant who attended in the Chamber knowing that his Master was but newly gone out, and believing he might have occasion for his Cloak, delivered it to the Porter who carried it to our Extravagant, who now having a Cloak marched off, being provided for against a shower of Rain that then happened, but withal he knowing it would be dangerous to wear that Cloak which was remarkably known among his aquaintance, having Gold Buttons, he marched to Long-Lane, and exchanged it for a Coat of a different colour, and had Money to boot, and now having succeeded so well in this first attempt and being resolved to try further, he thought fit to acquaint this Broker that he had several Cloaks that he would exchange or sell to him. The Broker replyed he should be very welcom, and he would deal very honestly with him, and so he left him, and the next day he plyed his business, so that in the manner aforementioned, taking his due observations, gained three Cloaks more, and before the week was at an end he had ten or twelve, being Master of so many Cloaks he dealt with his Broker, and exchanged for a very handsom suit and Cloak, and a pretty sum of money in his Pocket, and now he was set up again.
He again marches to the Gaming House, and there in short time looses all his ill purchased Wealth, and now the loss of so many Cloaks together, having been so much talked of by the Owners, he thought it would be to no purpose to attempt that trick any further, but knowing he had a Merchant his Broker, who would deal with him for any thing of Cloaths, he went to the Play-house, and there he nim’d off the Gold Buttons from Cloaks, and the Gold and Silver Lace from Gentlewomens Petycoats, nay sometimes he would cut off great part of the Petticoats, and this trade he did drive a long time, and as fast as he was Master of any such purchase he sold it to the Broker who received all that came, and although he knew our Extravagant could not come honestly by these purchases, yet he still encouraged him to bring him more.
And was so kind to him that being arrested by his Landlord for five pound for Lodging and Diet, he furnished him with the some, and set him at liberty, he promising to repay him in a short time, by such things as he should bring in. But he being at liberty and following his old Trade, and finding that although he brought much grist to the Mill, still carried some of his Commodities to the Broker, yet he had but little money of him, for in the first place he gave him less price, and then withal stop’d most part of the money for the old Debt, he considering of this was resolved to leave the Broker and make the best of his markets elsewhere, and so he did; but the Broker soon discovered him, and in revenge caused him to be arrested and clapt up into the Counter, from whence he had lately redeemed him.
Our Extravagant bearing close enough sent to his Mother, but she was as deaf to him as he had been to her, and was resolved to let him bite on the bridle, wherefore he being weary of that Prison, and understanding that Ludgate was far better, resolved to remove himself thither, but first he again tryed what his Mother would do, but she although the Debt was but four pounds would not pay it, but if he could get off for forty shillings, she gave him some hopes that she would disburse it, but the Broker was inexorable, would have all or none which he understanding, in a humour writ these Lines.
Oh how with misery I my Mothers Darling
To be thus chackled but for four pound Starling,