Though she had baited her desires with a million of prostitute countenances and enticements, yet I lookt upon her rather a Companion for an Hospital, and stood more in need of a Chyrurgions acquaintance than mine. My Friend had nibbled at the bait; but when I heard them capitulating about the price, I thought she wanted a Fee for the Doctor. Well, had she not over-traded, she had not broke so soon; for her trade is opposite to all others: for she did set up without credit, and her too much custome undid her; and so let her go, without either shame, or hope of repentance.
We desired to see another: ’Tis variety that Man chiefly takes delight in: One constant sort of Food, without participating of any other, though Manna, will cause the stomack to long for the Flesh-pots: Neither can the crime be greater in the enjoyment of diverse persons then one alone, provided Matrimony make not the act Legitimate. I do not approve of these consequent lines tending to this purpose; yet give me leave to insert them, that you may understand how viciously minded some are in this frothy age.
Born under some ill Planet, or accurst,
Is he that loves one single Whore;
Who with one draught can always quench his thirst,
Ty’d to one Mistress, and no more.
This nauseating thing being removed, up came one of Venus her chief Darlings; excellent Flesh! and the her self the Cook that drest it, spending most of her day-time about it, that she might with the better appetite be tasted at night. Finding no exceptions in this, I was impatient till I had consummated my desires: withdrawing into another room, to heighten my thoughts, she declared to me her birth and Education; that as the one was well extracted, the other had occasioned much cost and expence. That for her part, she associated with none but persons of quality, whose long patience and intreatments first procured a familiarity, and in fine, freedom in the exercise of love-affairs: and so would have (seemingly) put me off upon this score, that it was not usual for her to admit of any to her imbraces, but such whose long acquaintance had gained her affection. I offered her a Crown, which she refused with indignation; telling me, that she was not yet reduced to so low a condition, as to become so poor a Mercenary Prostitute. At last, with much perswasion, I fastned on her an half piece; and so striving with her, (she onely seeming averse) I accomplisht my ends. And presently in came a fellow, whose very face would have enlightned the room, though in the darkest night; for indeed it appeared to me a blazing Comet, and his Nose (for miraculously he had preserved it) was the brushy Tail. Laying his hand on his sword, he looked fiercer then a Spanish Don insulting over an Indian Slave. The bulk of his body began to heave like an Earth-quake, whilst his mouth, Ætna-like, belcht out all manner of Sulphurous Oaths, which roared so loud, as if his belly had contained a barrel of Gun-powder, and the Linstock of his Nose had fired it. His courteous Salutation to me, was, How darest thou, Son of a Whore, presume in this nature to dishonour me, in the abusing of my Wife, without the expectation of an immediate annihilation or dissipation into Atomes? But I have something here shall tame thy insolence; and now I am resolved to set thy blood abroach. With that he seemed to make a pass at me: Now I, imagining that he really intended to do what he pretended, for the safeguard of my Life, I took up a Joynt-stool, and received his point in the seat; and following it home, tumbled him down the stairs; and not being able to recover my self, fell with him. My Comrade came running down at the noise to assist me; but he seeing me rather make use of my heels then hands, followed my example, and so built a Sconce, leaving the old Bawd to condole her great loss; for the Reckoning was very considerable.
Now because I have often met with these Hectors or Trepanning Villains, I think it will not be unsuitable to this present Discourse, to insert their Character.
