How he had like to have been transported, being taken up by Kid-napper, vulgarly called a Spirit.
Having satisfied my stomach, I walked along with much more courage than before; which had been to little purpose, had I not had a stick in my hand; For there was hardly a dog in the street (which I went through) that gave me not his grinning Salutation, and would when my back was turned (knowing else I would never have suffered their humility) have kist my very heels, had not my stick prevented their Snearing Dog-ships mouths. I have wondred often why Doggs will bark so incessantly at the sight of a Tinker, Pedlar, Tom-a-Bedlam, nay, any suspitious fellow, till I found it my self by experience, that by natural instinct they know and hate the scent of a Rogue. My course of life appeared so idle (by my lazy stalking and gaping this way and that, sometimes standing still and seriously viewing what deserved not a minutes observance) that the Beadle took hold on me, telling me it was great pitty that such a lusty young Man should want imployment, and therefore would help me to some: but understanding from him that it must be in Bridewel, my leggs failed me, shewing thereby how unwilling they were to be accessary to the punishment which would be inflicted on my back: at length by pitiful looks, and many intreaties, I got clear of him, but fell immediately foul with an evil spirit, or a Seducer of Persons to the Indies. Well may he be called a Spirit, since his nature is like the Devils, to seduce any he meets withal, whom he can perswade with allurements and deluding falsities to his purpose.
After he had asked me many impertinent questions, he invited me to drink with him; I ingeniously told him I had not a penny, otherwise his motion would be acceptable to me. At which he cast up his eyes to Heaven, and laying his hands on his breast, Alas poor young Man, said he, what pitty it is such a fellow as thou art shouldst want money; which argues thou art both destitute of friends, and an imployment also. Well, I’le say no more for the present, but before we part I’le study some way or other for thy advantage, which I shall do meerly out of commiseration to the miserableness of thy condition, as also out of respect to thy Father, whom I am confident I have heretofore known; by the resemblance thou bearest him in thy Countenance. I could but smile to my self to hear how this Rascal dissembled; not discovering my thoughts, I willingly went with him to drink, resolving to see what the event would be; after he had paused a while, Well, said he, I have found it.
There is a Merchant an intimate friend of mine that wants a Store-house-keeper; Now if you can cast accompts ever so indifferently, you shall find entertainment from him, and 40 l. per annum for encouragement. I told him that I joyfully accepted his kind proffer, and that I should refer my self to be disposed of as he should think fit. With that he imbraced me, saying, within two days I should go aboard the Ship where the Merchant was, who would go along with me to Virginia (where he pretended the Merchants Plantation lay) in the mean time, you shall go along with me to my house, where you shall be, and shall receive from me what your necessities require. I had heard before, how several had been served in this kind, so that being forewarned, I was fore-armed: premonitus, premunitus. He carried me away presently to Wapping, and housed me. To the intent he might oblige me to be his, he behaved himself extraordinary friendly; and that he might let me see that he made no distinction between me and his other friends, he brought me into a Room where half a score were all taking Tobacco: the place was so narrow wherein they were, that they had no more space left, than what was for the standing of a small table. Methought their mouths together resembled a stack of Chimneys, being in a manner totally obscured by the smoak that came from them; for there was little discernable but smoak, and the glowing coals of their pipes. Certainly the smell of this Room would have out-done Assa Fœtida, or burned Feathers in the Cure of Ladies troubled with the Fits of the Mother. As to the sight, the place resembled Hell, so did it likewise as to its scent, compounded of the perfume of stinking Tobacco and Tarpawlin. So that I concluded the resemblance most proper.
In Hell damn’d souls, fire, smoak, and stink appear.
Then this is Hell, for those four things were here.
I was seated between two, lest I should give them to slip.
After I had been there awhile, the Cloud of their smoak was somewhat dissipated, so that I could discern two more in my own condemnation: but alas poor Sheep, they ne’re considered where they were going, it was enough for them to be freed from a seven years Apprenticeship, under the Tyranny of a rigid Master (as they judged it, coming but lately from sucking the breasts of a too indulgent Mother) and not weighing (as I know not how they should) the slavery they must undergo for five years, amongst Brutes in foreign parts, little inferior to that which they suffer who are Gally-slaves. There was little discourse amongst them, but the pleasantness of the soyl of that Continent we were designed for, (out of a design to make us swallow their gilded Pills of Ruine) & the temperature of the Air, the plenty of Fowl and Fish of all sorts; the little labour that is performed or expected having so little trouble in it, that it rather may be accounted a pastime than any thing of punishment; and then to sweeten us on the farther, they insisted on the pliant loving natures of the Women there; all which they used as baits to catch us silly Gudgeons. As for my own part, I said but little but what tended to the approbation of what they said.
For all my aim (as I related before) was to understand the drift of this Rogue, and then endeavour to get what I could from him. By this time supper was talkt of by our Masters; so choice they were in their dyet, that they could not agree what to have. At last one stands up, and proclaiming silence, said, that a Dish of Bruiss was the most Princely Dish of any. And to tell you truly, by his looks, I thought he had been begot just as his Mother had put a Sop into her mouth, of that Stomach-murdering stuff, the grease running about her chops, which pleasing her fancy, struck so deep an impression in the imagination upon her conception, that the face of that thing she brought forth, lookt much like a Toast soaking in a Cooks Dripping-pan.