"Hello, dear! I think I'll come in town for lunch. What trains can I get?"
"Just a minute—I'll look them up. Hold the wire.... Let's see, here's one at XII:LVIII, that's twelve, and L is a thousand and V is five and three I's are three; that makes 12:one thousand.... that can't be right.... now XII certainly is twelve, and L ... what does L stand for?... I say; what—does—L—stand—for?... Well, [pg 128]ask Heima.... What does she say?... Fifty?... Sure, that makes it come out all right.... 12:58.... What time is it now?... 1 o'clock?... Well, the next one leaves Oakam at I:XLIV.... that's ..." etc.
Batting averages and the standing of teams in the leagues are another department where the introduction of Roman numerals would be suicide for the political party in power at the time. For of all things that are essential to the day's work of the voter, an early enlightenment in the matter of the home team's standing and the numerical progress of the favorite batsman are of primary importance. This information has to be gleaned on the way to work in the morning, and, except for those who come in to work each day from North Philadelphia or the Croton Reservoir, it would be a physical impossibility to figure the tables out and get any of the day's news besides.
| CLVB BATTING RECORDS | |||||||
| Games | At Bat | Runs | B.H. | S.B. | S.H. | Aver. | |
| Detroit | CLII | MMMMMXXCIX | DCLIII | MCCCXXXIII | CLXVIII | CC | CCLXII |
| Chicago | CLI | MMMMCMXL | DLXXI | MCCXLVI | CLXXIX | CCXXI | CCLII |
| Cleveland | CLII | MMMMCMXXXVII | DCXIX | MCCXXXI | CL | CCXXI | CCXLIX |
| Boston | CLI | MMMMDCCCLXXIV | DXXXIV | MCXCI | CXXXVI | CCXXV | CCXLV |
| New York | CL | MMMMCMLXXXVII | DLIV | MCCXXX | CLXXV | CLXV | CXLVII |
| Washington | CLIII | MMMMCMXXVIII | DV | MCXC | CLXIII | CLXV | CCXDI |
| St. Louis | CLV | MMMMMLXV | DLXXIV | MCCXXI | CCVII | CLXII | CCXLI |
| Philadelphia | CXLIX | MMMMDCCCXXVI | CCCCXVI | MCXLIII | CXLIII | CLV | CCXXXVII |
YOU CAN'T DO RIGHT BY THE OFFICE AND GO IN FOR ROMAN NUMERALS TOO.
On matters such as these the proletariat would have protested the Roman numeral long ago. If they are willing to let its reactionary use on tablets and monuments stand it is because of their indifference to influences which do not directly affect their pocketbooks. But if it could be put up to them in a powerful cartoon, showing the Architect and the Stone-Cutter dressed in frock coats and silk hats, with their pockets full of money, stepping on the Common People so that he cannot see what is written on the tablet behind them, then perhaps the public would realize how they are being imposed on.
For that there is an organized movement among architects and stone-cutters to keep these things from the citizenry there can no longer be any doubt. It is not only a matter of the Roman numerals. How about the use of the "V" when "U" should be used? You will always see it in inscriptions. "SVMNER BVILDING" is one of the least offensive. Perhaps the excuse is that "V" is more adapted to stone-lettering. Then why not carry this principle out further? Why not use the letter H when S is meant? Or substitute K for B? If the idea is to deceive, and to make it easier for the stone-cutter, a pleasing effect could be got from the inscription, "Erected in 1897 by the Society [pg 130]of Arts and Grafts", by making it read: "EKEATEW IZ MXIXLXIXLXXII LY THE XNLIEZY OF AEXA ZNL ELAFTX." There you have letters that are all adapted to stone-cutting; they look well together, and they are, in toto, as intelligible as most inscriptions.[pg 131]