“All this time we met, and made love after our fashion, don’t you see. Papaverica and I looked at each other till we couldn’t see out of our eyes, and sighed like paviers at work on a hard piece of ground. But her father tried to put a stop to our proceedings; and if he caught me talking to her, he gave me such a setting down, or more properly, speaking, such a knocking down, as gave me cause to remember the conversation.
“‘Fathers have flinty hearts!’ said the sympathising Papaverica.
“‘And desperate thick sticks!’ I exclaimed, with tears in my eyes, as I rubbed my aching back against the door. However, this sort of thing could not go on for ever. I was sent to pursue my studies at Columbus, and I lost sight of Papaverica—I may add, for ever; for she soon afterwards eloped with a strolling actor who had been vagabondising in the neighbourhood, and who had won her heart by playing Romeo in a cocked hat and leather breeches.
“My next folly was of a different kind. I was a young student as fond of mischief as any of the fraternity to which I belonged. I was invited to an evening party, where among the company, I noticed a young girl with a laughing, dare-devil eye, and a person remarkably smart. I inquired her name, and from a friend learned all the particulars of her history. Observing that she was regarding me in a manner that told me that she was quizzing me to her companions, I advanced, humming an air till I came close before her.
“‘Ah Floss!’ said I, nodding familiarly. ‘Is it you? Haven’t seen you this age. You look particularly charming; and how is your grandmother? Shouldn’t suppose you half so old as you are, to look at you. And has the cat kittened? I always admire your style of dress—it’s very becoming. So the house dog’s got well at last! Being an old friend of the family, you must really make room for me beside you.—How is your aunt’s toothach?’
“The girl at first stared at my impudence, don’t you see; but, finding I proceeded with the same nonchalance, making all sorts of heterogeneous remarks and inquiries, she laughed heartily, in which she was as heartily joined by her companions, and we became intimate in a moment. We joked and romped in the most provoking manner, and said the smartest things of each other that could possibly be conceived. I found that she lived with an aged grandmother and an old maiden aunt, in a small house in a retired part of the town. I watched my opportunity when I saw the two old women go out to take their evening walk, and gave such a tremendous knock at the door that it made the windows rattle again. As I expected my charmer opened the door, and in I marched as stately as an emperor.
“‘Halloo, sir, where are you going? This is like your impudence, certainly!’ said she, not knowing whether to be most offended or amused at my behaviour.
“‘I have come to honour you with a little of my superfluous time, Floss,’ I replied in an easy, condescending manner.
“‘You have, have you? then I shall just thank you to make the best of your way back again,’ she rejoined as she followed me into the parlour.
“‘I shall do nothing of the kind, Floss, till I please,’ said I, as observing some decanters of wine on the table I began very quietly to help myself; ‘and I have the pleasure to drink your health, Floss, and a good husband to you—when you can get one.’