There are others, of course, but these are the main characteristics of Scotch humour. Our best anecdotes illustrate this. Here is a good instance of the native wit and humour:—
“Jock,” cried a farmer’s wife to her cowherd, “come awa’ in to your parritch, or the flees ’ill be droonin’ themsel’s in your milk bowl.”
“Nae fear o’ that,” was Jock’s roguish reply. “They’ll wade through.”
“Ye scoondrel,” cried the mistress, indignantly, “d’ye mean to say that ye dinna get eneuch milk?”
“Ou, ay,” said Jock, “I get plenty o’ milk for a’ the parritch.”
“Jock,” cried a farmer’s wife to her cowherd, “come awa’ in to your parritch, or the flees ’ill be droonin’ themsel’s in your milk bowl.” “Nae fear o’ that,” was Jock’s roguish reply. “They’ll wade through.” “Ye scoundrel,” cried the mistress, indignantly, “d’ye mean to say that ye dinna get eneuch milk?” “Ou, ay,” said Jock, “I get plenty o’ milk for a’ the parritch.”—[Page 35.]
The colloquy was richly humorous, and at the same time sublimely practical. The same may be said of the following:—
During the time of the great Russian War a countryman accepted the “Queen’s shilling,” and very soon thereafter was sent to the front. But he had scarcely time to have received his “baptism of fire” when he turned his back on the scenes of carnage, and immediately struck of in a bee line for a distant haven of safety. A mounted officer, intercepting his retreat, demanded to know where he was going.
“Whaur am I gaun?” said he. “Hame, of course; man, this is awfu’ walk; they’re just killin’ ane anither ower there.”