A brother countryman took a different view of the same, or a similar situation. Just before his regiment entered into an engagement with the enemy, he was heard to pray in these terms:—“O, Lord! dinna be on oor side, and dinna be on the tither side, but just stand ajee frae baith o’ us for an oor or twa, an’ ye’ll see the toosiest fecht that ever was fochen.” What a fine, rough hero was there!
Speaking of praying prior to entering into engagements, recalls another good and equally representative anecdote. It is told of two old Scottish matrons. They were discussing current events.
“Eh, woman!” said one, “I see by the papers that oor sodgers have been victorious again.”
“Ah, nae fear o’ oor sodgers,” replied the other. “They’ll aye be victorious, for they aye pray afore they engage wi’ the enemy.”
“But do you no think the French ’ill pray too?” questioned the first speaker.
“The French pray!” sneered her friend. “Yatterin’ craturs! Wha wad ken what they said?”
What a charmingly innocent auld wife! Surely it was this same matron who once upon a time entered the village grocery and asked for a pound of candles, at the same time laying down the price at which the article in question had stood fixed for some time.
“Anither bawbee, mistress,” said the grocer. “Cawnils are up, on account o’ the war.”
“Eh, megstie me!” was the response. “An’ can it be the case that they really fecht wi’ cawnil licht?”
A Scotch blacksmith, being asked the meaning of metaphysics, explained as follows:—“Weel, Geordie, ye see, it’s just like this. When the pairty that listens disna ken what the pairty that speaks means, an’ when the pairty that speaks disna ken what he means himsel’, that’s metapheesics.” Many a lecture of an hour’s length, I am thinking, has had no better results.