“Yes: but a lot of it is mere theory, you know,” observed Rushton. “Take this idear that the world is round, for instance; I fail to see it! And then they say as Hawstralia is on the other side of the globe, underneath our feet. In my opinion it’s ridiculous, because if it was true, wot’s to prevent the people droppin’ orf?”
“Yes: well, of course it’s very strange,” admitted Sweater. “I’ve often thought of that myself. If it was true, we ought to be able to walk on the ceiling of this room, for instance; but of course we know that’s impossible, and I really don’t see that the other is any more reasonable.”
“I’ve often noticed flies walkin’ on the ceilin’,” remarked Didlum, who felt called upon to defend the globular theory.
“Yes; but they’re different,” replied Rushton. “Flies is provided by nature with a gluey substance which oozes out of their feet for the purpose of enabling them to walk upside down.”
“There’s one thing that seems to me to finish that idear once for all,” said Grinder, “and that is—water always finds its own level. You can’t get away from that; and if the world was round, as they want us to believe, all the water would run off except just a little at the top. To my mind, that settles the whole argymint.”
“Another thing that gets over me,” continued Rushton, “is this: according to science, the earth turns round on its axle at the rate of twenty miles a minit. Well, what about when a lark goes up in the sky and stays there about a quarter of an hour? Why, if it was true that the earth was turnin’ round at that rate all the time, when the bird came down it would find itself ’undreds of miles away from the place where it went up from! But that doesn’t ’appen at all; the bird always comes down in the same spot.”
“Yes, and the same thing applies to balloons and flyin’ machines,” said Grinder. “If it was true that the world is spinnin’ round on its axle so quick as that, if a man started out from Calais to fly to Dover, by the time he got to England he’d find ’imself in North America, or p’r’aps farther off still.”
“And if it was true that the world goes round the sun at the rate they makes out, when a balloon went up, the earth would run away from it! They’d never be able to get back again!” remarked Rushton.
This was so obvious that nearly everyone said there was probably something in it, and Didlum could think of no reply. Mr Bosher upon being appealed to for his opinion, explained that science was alright in its way, but unreliable: the things scientists said yesterday they contradicted today, and what they said today they would probably repudiate tomorrow. It was necessary to be very cautious before accepting any of their assertions.
“Talking about science,” said Grinder, as the holy man relapsed into silence and started on another biscuit and a fresh cup of tea. “Talking about science reminds me of a conversation I ’ad with Dr Weakling the other day. You know, he believes we’re all descended from monkeys.”