Everyone laughed; the thing was so absurd: the idea of placing intellectual beings on a level with animals!
“But just wait till you hear how nicely I flattened ’im out,” continued Grinder. “After we’d been arguin’ a long time about wot ’e called everlution or some sich name, and a lot more tommy-rot that I couldn’t make no ’ead or tail of—and to tell you the truth I don’t believe ’e understood ’arf of it ’imself—I ses to ’im, ‘Well,’ I ses, ‘if it’s true that we’re hall descended from monkeys,’ I ses, ‘I think your famly must ’ave left orf where mine begun.’”
In the midst of the laughter that greeted the conclusion of Grinder’s story it was seen that Mr Bosher had become black in the face. He was waving his arms and writhing about like one in a fit, his goggle eyes bursting from their sockets, whilst his huge stomach quivering spasmodically, alternately contracted and expanded as if it were about to explode.
In the exuberance of his mirth, the unfortunate disciple had swallowed two biscuits at once. Everybody rushed to his assistance, Grinder and Didlum seized an arm and a shoulder each and forced his head down. Rushton punched him in the back and the ladies shrieked with alarm. They gave him a big drink of tea to help to get the biscuits down, and when he at last succeeded in swallowing them he sat in the armchair with his eyes red-rimmed and full of tears, which ran down over his white, flabby face.
The arrival of the other members of the committee put an end to the interesting discussion, and they shortly afterwards proceeded with the business for which the meeting had been called—the arrangements for the forthcoming Rummage Sale.
Chapter 39
The Brigands at Work
The next day, at the meeting of the Town Council, Mr Wireman’s report concerning the Electric Light Works was read. The expert’s opinion was so favourable—and it was endorsed by the Borough Engineer, Mr Oyley Sweater—that a resolution was unanimously carried in favour of acquiring the Works for the town, and a secret committee was appointed to arrange the preliminaries. Alderman Sweater then suggested that a suitable honorarium be voted to Mr Wireman for his services. This was greeted with a murmur of approval from most of the members, and Mr Didlum rose with the intention of proposing a resolution to that effect when he was interrupted by Alderman Grinder, who said he couldn’t see no sense in giving the man a thing like that. “Why not give him a sum of money?”
Several members said “Hear, hear,” to this, but some of the others laughed.
“I can’t see nothing to laugh at,” cried Grinder angrily. “For my part I wouldn’t give you tuppence for all the honorariums in the country. I move that we pay ’im a sum of money.”
“I’ll second that,” said another member of the Band—one of those who had cried “Hear, Hear.”