"'Everybody has put one over on me!' I shrieked."
And I lifted my plate of soup and reversed it on my head.
They told me later that I screamed for half an hour before I swooned.
Afterward, my intellect being impaired, instead of being dismissed from my department, I was promoted to the position which I now hold as President Emeritus of the Consolidated Art Museums and Zoölogical Gardens of the City of New York.
I have easy hours, little to do, and twenty ornamental stenographers and typewriters engaged upon my memoirs which I dictate when I feel like it, steeped in the aroma of the most inexpensive cigar I can buy at the Rolling Stone Inn.
There is one typist in particular—but let that pass.
Vir sapit qui pauca loquitor.