"The girl that asks for feelings fresh as morn, must reject the man--reject him decidedly--who, after abundant experiences in far-off lands, returns to his home. My life is an Odyssey. I have suffered many shipwrecks; many a Calypso has bound me in her fetters, yet no Penelope awaits the home-comer, he has first to seek her."
Eva did not venture to look up, and plucked the blue flowers while he continued--
"Yet what are whirlpools and ocean wonders, the magicians and nymphs of other days--what all the harsh and sweet dangers of those seas which Homer's sun has illuminated for evermore, compared with the shoals and abysses which menace the bold traveller of the present time? To-day there is no Odyssey in which a vein of Faust would not be concealed, a struggle to fathom the world and life. And how wonderfully at this great turning-point of the period in which we are born, all truths and all delusions play into one another! And while still at home I succumbed to these perils! I saw how the old faith clung convulsively to the standard of the world's renunciation, in that religious enthusiasm which then held its sway over me, I joined it; yet beauty, which we learn to despise, passion, which we should renounce by oath, gained the victory within me over that belief. They all played a daring game, I succumbed to it, and I was not the only one; it was the first great step astray in my life."
Eva had laid her flowers in her lap; she did not dare to look at him--not with her eyes' mute question.
"I speak to you in enigmas, and may they remain enigmas to you! What I have experienced in the world were adventures that were only wafted upon me like gossamer threads in the air, which we shake off again. Only once beneath Italy's soft sky, in the intoxicating breath of its perfumed plains, a spell held me enthralled for a short time; I thought to live through one of Boccaccio's novels; the charm of concealment from those at home remained assured to this dream-like meeting. Enough, I returned home, no tired, no bowed down man, but tired of the life that I had led, overwhelmed with dark recollections, resolved, instead of an unsteady wanderer through the universe, to become a citizen of my country and of the world, who works nobly and bravely; for this I require peace, and peace of mind is alone the ground upon which such good work nourishes."
"And it will flourish," cried Eva, with exalted animation, "cast all sadness, all depression far behind you! I cannot bear to see shadows suffuse your brow--your eyes close as if expiring! I would see you happy, quite happy, and your name honoured like those of the noblest patriots, a Stein and Schön!"
"That word shall never be forgotten by me," cried Blanden, "it finds an echo in my soul; it tells of perfect unanimity of feeling, and if there is a cabala in life, you have thrown open the page on which the magic sentence stands, which now governs my days. That is the noble ambition which animates me now, with which I would banish the evil spirits, yet, I repeat, that to attain it I need also ensured peace at home. Let us reverse the old fairy-tale--I am an enchanted prince--will you be the princess who loosens the unholy spell?"
Eva blushed deeply, and covered her face with her hands--the blue-bells had fallen from her lap.
"Will you dedicate your whole life to me, that mine may open to new, soft bloom beneath the light of your beautiful gentle eyes? Will you be a true guardian to me, that I may never lose sight of the glorious goal which I strive to reach? I know that I am asking much; you are to give up to me a young pure life, while mine has been already furrowed and torn by the wild streams of passion; but is it not an old question whether love consists more of happiness than sacrifice?"
"A sacrifice," cried Eva, springing up suddenly; "a sacrifice, which is the greatest happiness!"