“After the introduction should the mutual friend leave, or remain and lead out in conversation?”
After the introduction the newly made acquaintances may or may not be left to their own devices in following up the introduction. This introduction does not under any circumstances bind the young woman to any future recognition of the person who has been introduced to her. She may ruthlessly ignore him the next time she meets him without any violation of good form, it being supposed that she has sufficient reason for doing so, and he will have no occasion to complain. He must accept the fact that he has had all that he can receive of pleasure or profit from this acquaintance, and be satisfied with it, unless he can by some means so bring himself in some manly way to the notice of this young woman that she shall indicate her wish to continue the acquaintance.
“What is good form in dress for an evening reception for both men and women? Should gloves be worn?”
For a formal reception, society requires that a man should wear black. If the host wears gloves, the men should do so. If the hostess only wears gloves, only the women wear gloves. At a wedding the bride determines whether gloves shall be worn. It would be very bad form to wear gloves if the bride’s hands were bare. The fashion changes with reference to what is suitable for both men and women, but as a rule what is known as the cutaway coat for men, with a white necktie, makes an evening dress for any occasion. It need not necessarily be of expensive material. A great variety is admissible in women’s costume at a reception. If she chooses to wear her bonnet, she may also wear a simple tailor-made gown, of very plain style and color, a traveling dress, or even an ordinary street dress; or she may be arrayed like the veriest butterfly in all the colors of the rainbow, and still preserve unbroken the rules of good form in dress according to the social code. But the plainer style is unquestionably the better form in every sense of the word. This is a social concession to the conscientious Christian element in social life, and an effort to retain it; and the more truly people carry conscience into dress, as well as the more they cultivate every true Christian grace, the more they are appreciated even by those who give time and thought to what seems to be frivolous in custom and costume.
“How shall one cultivate the art of conversation?”
First of all by conversing. But to talk one must know and think. Select some theme of general interest and importance, inform yourself concerning it, then train your mind to methodical handling of it; think it over in colloquial form; talk about it to the home folks, study the dictionary for a vocabulary, and use what you find. It is a good thing to have several words at your tongue’s end which mean the same thing, or nearly so; but it is very bad form to “talk book.” You can fill yourself with the book, but when it comes to expressing yourself in conversation, talk talk,—common language, pure and simple, short words such as even a child can understand.
The best conversationalist is one who by saying but little himself (that little choice, clear, and true) can draw others out to a free expression of their thoughts, making even the slow and stammering to feel “at home.”
It is bad form to take advantage of a social opportunity to air any private opinions that must necessarily arouse opposition and controversy. Conversation should be like a refreshing stream, holding all truth in solution in such form that it shall be recognized as sweet waters, at which the thirsty soul may find refreshment. The truth which it contains can be trusted to do its work in thought and life, as the iron and magnesia may on blood and tissue.