RESULTS UPON SOCIETY OF SEPARATING THE SEXES.
The separation of the sexes has many bad results, only partially compensated by some conservative ones. Woman owes her present elevation at the west to Christianity, not only in the degree of respect, support, freedom from servile labor, and education which she receives, but also in the reflex influences she exerts of a purifying, harmonizing, and elevating character. Where the requirements of the Gospel exert no force, her rights are more or less disregarded, and if she become as debased as the men, she can exert little good influence even upon her own family, still less upon the community. General mixed society can never be maintained with pleasure unless the better parts of human nature have the acknowledged preëminence, and where she, who imparts to it all its gracefulness and purity, is herself uneducated, unpolished, and immodest, the common sense of mankind sees its impropriety. By advocating the partition of the sexes, legislators and moralists in China have acted as they best could in the circumstances of the case, and by preventing the evils beyond their remedy, provided the best safeguards they could against general corruption. In her own domestic circle a Chinese female, in the character and duties of daughter, wife, or mother, finds as much employment, and probably as many enjoyments, as the nature of her training has fitted her for. She does not hold her proper place in society simply because she has never been taught its duties or exercised its privileges.
In ordinary cases the male and female branches of a household are strictly kept apart; not only the servants, but even brothers and sisters do not freely associate after the boys commence their studies. At this period of life, or even earlier, an anxious task devolves upon parents, which is to find suitable partners for their children. Betrothment is entirely in their hands, and is conducted through the medium of a class of persons called mei-jin, or go-betweens, who are expected to be well acquainted with the character and circumstances of the parties. Mothers sometimes contract their unborn progeny on the sole contingency of a difference of sex, but the usual age of forming these engagements is ten, twelve, or older, experience having shown that the casualties attending it render an earlier period undesirable.
BETROTHMENT AND PRELIMINARIES OF MARRIAGE.
There are six ceremonies which constitute a regular marriage, though their details vary much in different parts of the Empire: 1. The father and elder brother of the young man send a go-between to the father and brother of the girl, to inquire her name and the moment of her birth, that the horoscope of the two may be examined, in order to ascertain whether the proposed alliance will be a happy one. 2. If the eight characters[370] seem to augur aright, the boy’s friends send the mei-jin back to make an offer of marriage. 3. If that be accepted, the second party is again requested to return an assent in writing. 4. Presents are then sent to the girl’s parents according to the means of the parties. 5. The go-between requests them to choose a lucky day for the wedding. 6. The preliminaries are concluded by the bridegroom going or sending a party of friends with music to bring his bride to his own house. The match-makers contrive to multiply their visits and prolong the negotiations, when the parties are rich, to serve their own ends.
In Fuhkien parents often send pledges to each other when their children are mere infants, and registers containing their names and particulars of nativity are exchanged in testimony of the contract. After this has been done it is impossible to retract the engagement, unless one of the parties becomes a leper or is disabled. When the children are espoused older, the boy sometimes accompanies the go-between and the party carrying the presents to the house of his future mother-in-law, and receives from her some trifling articles, as melon-seeds, fruits, etc., which he distributes to those around. Among the presents sent to the girl are fruits, money, vermicelli, and a ham, of which she gives a morsel to each one of the party, and sends its foot back. These articles are neatly arranged, and the party bringing them is received with a salute of fire-crackers.
From the time of engagement until marriage a young lady is required to maintain the strictest seclusion. Whenever friends call upon her parents she is expected to retire to the inner apartments, and in all her actions and words guard her conduct with careful solicitude. She must use a close sedan whenever she visits her relations, and in her intercourse with her brothers and the domestics in the household maintain great reserve. Instead of having any opportunity to form those friendships and acquaintances with her own sex which among ourselves become a source of so much pleasure at the time and advantage in after life, the Chinese maiden is confined to the circle of her relations and her immediate neighbors. She has few of the pleasing remembrances and associations that are usually connected with school-day life, nor has she often the ability or opportunity to correspond by letter with girls of her own age. Seclusion at this time of life, and the custom of crippling the feet, combine to confine women in the house almost as much as the strictest laws against their appearing abroad; for in girlhood, as they know only a few persons except relatives, and can make very few acquaintances after marriage, their circle of friends contracts rather than enlarges as life goes on. This privacy impels girls to learn as much of the world as they can, and among the rich their curiosity is gratified through maid-servants, match-makers, pedlers, visitors, and others. Curiosity also stimulates young ladies to learn something of the character and appearance of their intended husbands, but the rules of society are too strict for young persons to endeavor to form a personal attachment, though it is not impossible for them to see each other if they wish, and there are, no doubt, many contracts suggested to parents by their children.
The office of match-maker is considered honorable, and both men and women are employed to conduct nuptial negotiations. Great confidence is reposed in their judgment and veracity, and as their employment depends somewhat upon their tact and character, they have every inducement to act with strict propriety in their intercourse with families. The father of the girl employs their services in collecting the sum agreed upon in the contract, which, in ordinary circumstances, varies from twenty-five to forty dollars, increasing to a hundred and over according to the condition of the bridegroom; until that is paid the marriage does not take place. The presents sent at betrothment are sometimes costly, consisting of silks, rice, cloths, fruits, etc.; the bride brings no dower, but both parents frequently go to expenses they can ill afford when celebrating the nuptials of their children, as the pride of family stimulates each party to make undue display.
MARRIAGE CEREMONIES AND CUSTOMS.
The principal formalities of a marriage are everywhere the same, but local customs are observed in some regions which are quite unknown and appear singular elsewhere. In Fuhkien, when the lucky day for the wedding comes, the guests assemble in the bridegroom’s house to celebrate it, where also sedans, a band of music, and porters are in readiness. The courier, who acts as guide to the chair-bearers, takes the lead, and in order to prevent the onset of malicious demons lurking by the road, a baked hog or large piece of pork is carried in front, that the procession may safely pass while these hungry souls are devouring the meat. Meanwhile the bride arrays herself in her best dress and richest jewels. Her girlish tresses have already been bound up, and her hair arranged by a matron, with due formality; an ornamental and complicated head-dress made of rich materials, not unlike a helmet or corona, often forms part of her coiffure. Her person is nearly covered by a large mantle, over which is an enormous hat like an umbrella, that descends to the shoulders and shades the whole figure. Thus attired she takes her seat in the red gilt marriage sedan, called hwa kiao, borne by four men, in which she is completely concealed. This is locked by her mother or some other relative, and the key given to one of the bridemen, who hands it to the bridegroom or his representative on reaching his house.