The next Morning, my Master taking me by the Sleeve with his Beak, led me out of Doors, and then walk'd forward. I stood still, and he returned, pull'd me by the Coat, and walk'd on again; by which I guess'd he would have me follow him, as I accordingly did, accompanied by one of his Servants, who kept by my Side. He went too fast, for me to keep him Company; which he perceiving, spoke to the Servant, and they took Wing together, and each of them laying hold on an Arm, lifted me about Thirty Foot from the Ground, and in Four Hours, alighted about a Quarter of a Mile distant from a very large Town.
I had forgot to acquaint the Reader, that before I began this airy Journey, my Master took a Mantle, which his Servant carried under his Wing, and cover'd me, that I had only an Open to see and respire: This was to prevent the Impertinence he might expect from the Mob at the Sight of such a Novelty as I was.
When we alighted, he made Signs to me to lye down, sent his Servant to the Town, and cover'd me all over. The Servant soon returned with a close Palanquin, which they made me Signs to go into, and I was in an Instant hurried thro' the Air, and set down in a Stable Yard, and conducted from thence into a little House, to which this Yard afforded the only Passage. Both the Avenue, and the Smallness of the House no way answerable to the Charge and Titles of the Minister to whom it belong'd, were Matter of Surprize to me; tho' I since learnt it was in him Policy, that he made no greater Figure in Town than a private Gentleman, not to encrease the Number of those who envied him; for tho' he was now Nine Foot high, yet in a late Reign he was dwindled from the Height peculiar to the Rank of his Family, of Six Foot Nine Inches, to Three Foot Ten. In the Country, I was told his Seat far exceeded any of the Royal Palaces, tho' as yet not finish'd, and both his Furniture and Equipage were answerable; and he never travelled without a great Number of Servants, who join'd him a Mile or two without the Gates.
This great Person shewed me to his family, every one of which admired me as a most monstrous Production of Nature. My Master was rewarded, by being made Nosocomionarcha, or Paymaster to the Invalids, had the Title of Quityardo, which answers to our Squire, conferred on him, and was ever after a Favourite of the Minister. He sprung up immediately Nine Inches higher, grew considerably more bulky, and would eat you Three or Four Cacklogallinian Chicks in a Day; for the Ministers, and those in Post, feed on their own Species, and not one of the poorer Sort is in any Security of their Lives, in case a hungry Grandee sets his Eyes on, and has a Mind to him. Nay, the slavish Spirit of the Cacklogallinians is such, that many of them, thro' Folly or Superstition, will come in Bodies to the House of a Minister, and beg as the greatest Favour and Honour, they and their Families may be served up to his Lordship's Table; and I have seen the Fools, who had thus offered themselves, and been accepted, if there was not immediate Occasion for them, strut in the Streets with a Chain of Silver about their Necks, which they look'd upon as the greatest Honour; and when call'd for by his Lordship's Cook, run exulting, and offer their Throats to his Knife; tho' this Nation was, in Time past, the bravest, and the most tenacious of their Liberty, of any of the feather'd Race. But I have digress'd too far.
My new Master, or, more properly, Lord, order'd an Apartment and a Table for me, with a Tutor to teach me the Languages, by whose Diligence, and my own Avidity of Learning, I began in Four Months to understand a great Part of what was said to me; and my Lord was so very much pleased at my Progress, that he gave my Tutor a Post, which raised him about Four Inches. My Lord forbore asking me any Questions concerning my self, till I was perfectly Master or the Languages, which I was in about Eleven Months.
He one Day sent for me into his Chamber, and accosted me in the following Words: Probusomo (which is, Monster of Nature, the Name he gave me) I have suspended my Curiosity of enquiring whence, and how you came into this Kingdom, till we could perfectly understand each other, that I might not be troubled with an imperfect Relation: Now that you are Master of our Language, tell me of what Part of the World you are; whether you are of savage, or a civiliz'd Nation? if of the latter, what is your Policy, what are your Manners and Customs, and what Accident brought you hither? I threw my self on my Face, and kiss'd his right golden Spur (for the Grandees saw off those which Nature has provided them, and substitute these in their Places) then rising, I answer'd, That I was of Europe, a Country so distant from Cacklogallinia, that I was near Six Moons at Sea, before I was cast on its Coast. Why, said he, is it possible you can swim so long? for you being destitute of Wings, can have no other Method of passing so vast a Water. I told him we pass'd the Seas in Ships, and gave him a Description of them, but could not make him have the least Idea of what I meant, till the next Day, that I hollow'd, shap'd, and rigg'd a Piece of Cork, made Sails of fine Linnen, and brought it to his Excellency in a Bason of Water. I told him, we were a civiliz'd Nation, and govern'd by a King, who however did nothing without the Advice of his Great Council, which consisted of Grandees born to that Honour, and Quityardo's elected by the People to represent them. That, to these Representatives the People had delegated the Power of acting for them, and entrusted their Liberty and Estates to their Probity; consequently nothing could be supposed to be done by the Prince, but by the universal Consent of the Nation, and the People could bear no Burthens, but what they voluntarily took upon themselves for the common Good.
I have never, answer'd he, read, that any of your Species was seen in this Kingdom before you; but it is certain you must have copy'd your Policy from us. But, said he, are all these Representatives publick-spirited, zealous for the common Welfare, Proof against Preferments, Titles, and private Advantages? Have they always the Good of the Nation at Heart so far, as to prefer it to that of their Families? Do they sollicite the People to chuse them, or are they their free Choice? If the latter, what Amends do the People make to these Representatives, who neglect their private Affairs, to apply themselves to those of the Publick?
I told his Excellency, that I did not doubt their being such Men as he spoke them; that I was very young when I left my Country, and beside I was not born in a Rank which, had I been of riper Years, permitted me to meddle with State Affairs: However, I had heard from my Elders, that none were elected, till the King sent his Mandates to the several Provinces, ordering them to chuse the wisest among them to assist his Majesty with their Advice: And as the Interest of each Province in particular, and of the whole Nation in general, turn'd upon the Probity and Judgment of the Representatives, to whom an unlimited Power was delegated, it did not stand to Reason, that they would make Choice of any, whose Love for his Country, whose Sagacity and Honour they had not made Proof of; or at least, whose Life did not give them Hopes, that he would prove a real Patriot.
That they were the free Choice of the People, was plain, by the Backwardness shewn by those elected to undertake so weighty a Charge, which had no other Recompence than the Applause of the Publick, for the faithful Execution of their Trust. Another Reason which induced me to believe the Choice such, was, that the English, (of which Nation I own'd my self) were any one rich enough to bribe the Majority of a Province, and are too wise a People to entrust their Liberty to such a Person; for it's natural to believe, whoever would buy their Votes, would sell his own: But, that the Majority of a Province was to be brib'd, or that a free People would, on any account, risque their Liberty, by giving their Representatives a Power to enslave 'em, either by making the Prince absolute, and furnishing him with Standing Armies, to maintain a despotick Power or else by selling them to Foreigners, could never enter into the Thoughts of a reasonable Creature.
Has, said he, (who smiled all the while I held this Discourse) your Nation any near Neighbours? I answer'd, That, by the means of our Shipping, we might be said near Neighbours to every Nation; but that our Island was separated but Seven Leagues from the Continent, inhabited by a warlike and powerful People. Have you any Commerce with the Nations on the Continent? We are, said I, the greatest Dealers in Europe. Have you any Religion among you? We have, in the main, I replied, but one, tho' it is branch'd out into a great many Sects, differing only in some trifling Ceremonies, in Essentials we all agree. Religion, answer'd my Lord, is absolutely necessary in a well-govern'd State; but do your great Men make any Profession of Religion? or, to ask a more proper Question, do they do more than profess it? My Lord, said I, our great Men are the brightest Examples of Piety. Their Veracity is such, that they would not for an Empire falsify their Word once given. Their Justice won't suffer a Creditor to go from their Gate unsatisfied: Their Chastity makes them look on Adultery and Furnication the most abominable Crimes; and even the naming of them will make their Bloods run cold. They exhaust their Revenues in Acts of Charity, and every great Man among us is a Husband and Father to the Widow and Orphan. They esteem themselves Stewards to the Poor, and that in a future State they are accountable for every Doit lavish'd in Equipage or superfluous Dishes. Their Tables are not nicely, but plentifully served, and always open to the honest Needy. At Court, as I have learn'd, there is neither Envy nor Detraction, no one undermines another, nor intercepts the Prince's Bounty or Favour by slandrous Reports; and neither Interest, Riches, nor Quality, but Merit only recommends the Candidate to a Post: A Bribe was never heard of there; which, together with the exact Justice practised, is the Reason that a Minister, after Twelve or Fourteen Years, shall die not a Doit richer than he was at the Entrance upon his Office: Nay, I've been told, that a Paymaster General of the Army, after he had past his Accounts before the Grand Council of the Nation, with a general Applause, found his Patrimony so impoverish'd by his Charity to Soldiers Widows, he was oblig'd to turn Merchant for his Support; but being unfortunate, he petition'd for a small Government. As you say you have divers Sects of Religion, you must have Priests among you, pray what sort of Men are they? I answer'd, their Lives and Doctrine were of a-piece, their Example differing nothing from their Precepts: That Hypocrisy, Avarice, Ambition, litigious Suits, Lying, Revenge, and Obscenity, were Vices known to 'em by Name only: That they were a mortify'd Set of Men, who look'd upon nothing transitory worth their Concern; and having their Thoughts always employ'd on Meditations of a future Happiness, neglected every thing on Earth but their Duty; and for this Reason, they often became a Prey to Knaves, who slipp'd no Opportunity of spoiling them, knowing their Lenity such, that, if detected, they should not be prosecuted. I have been assured, that a Priest being told, such a Farmer had stole away a great many Tithe Sheafs, the good Divine answer'd, If he's poor, it's no Theft; what I have belongs to the Needy, and he takes but his own. The Day after he sent him all the Corn he was Master of, and by this Act of Charity, wou'd have starved before next Harvest, if a Minister of State, in love with his Virtue, had not provided for him. And I myself knew one, who hearing black Puddings were a Preservative against pestilential Infections, and that the Plague was within Two Thousand Leagues of our Island, laid out his whole Patrimony in Puddings, and sent 'em to every Sea-port in the Kingdom.