This small Sketch of the Cacklogallinians I thought necessary, that the Reader might have some Idea of them. I happen'd to be cast on their Coast, just after they had made a Peace with the Magpyes, a puissant and neighbouring Nation, after a long, sanguine, and expensive War, which had well nigh exhausted the Forces and Treasure of both Parties, occasioned by the Cacklogallinians pretending they had a Right to nominate a Successor to the Emperor Chuctinio, who was in an advanced Age, and without issue; and the Magpyes pretended their King, as a Relation to that Emperor, had a Right to succeed to the Throne of the Bubohibonians, which is the Nation of Owls.
All the neighbouring States join'd the Cacklogallinians, in endeavouring to prevent this vast Increase of Power to the Magpyes, since it must necessarily destroy the Balance of Power; and as their prince was both powerful and ambitious, they apprehended he would aim at an universal Monarchy: But then they would not allow the Cacklogallinians had any more Right than their Neighbours, to name a Successor; and if that Monarchy were to fall to the Share of any powerful Prince, it might be as dangerous to the common Good, as if yielded to the Magpyes; they therefore would have it divided.
The Peacock, who pretends to be the High-Priest of all Nations, and exacts on that Account Tributes from them, and calls himself the Disposer of Kingdoms, had his Tributes stopp'd by the Magpyes, about the same time; and complaining of this Injury, he invited Bigoteasy to declare War against Gripeallyominte, King of the Magpyes, which, on account of former Friendship, he absolutely refused. This so enraged the good High Priest, that he raised a Rebellion against him; he was dethron'd, taken Prisoner by his Subjects, and died in Confinement, and his Kingdom given by the Peacock, and the unanimous Consent of the People, to the greatest Prince that History ever mention'd, either for Wisdom or Bravery.
These Wars lasted Sixty and Seven Years, and the Cacklogallinians bore the greatest Share of the Expence; which had so far indebted them, that every Brain was at Work to project Methods for raising Money to pay the Interest.
These Schemes, which were every Day presented to the Minister, grew so numerous, that, had he applied himself to nothing else but their Examination, it would have taken up a great Part of his Time: And, indeed, I must own, that my Friend, the first Minister, gave himself but very little Trouble in things of this Nature, for all his Schemes, and all his Thoughts center'd in himself; and when I have gone to carry him Intelligence in a Morning, and all the great Fowl that came to pay their Levee, have been answer'd, that he was busy in his Closet upon Affairs of Importance to the State, and saw no Company, I have found him (for there were Orders for admitting me) either writing Directions concerning his Ostriches, or his Country Sports, or his Buildings, or examining his private Accounts; and tho' I often thought but meanly of my own Species, yet I began to think, from the Conduct of this great Minister, that a Cock was a far more selfish, and more worthless Animal than Man; insomuch, that I have so despised them ever since, as to think them good for nothing but the Spit.
The Schemes which he put in Practice were all the Invention of others, tho' he assum'd the Credit of them; and I will be bold to say, that, before my Time, amongst Numbers that were offer'd to him, he generally chose the worst.
I was therefore order'd, after I had been two Years at Court, to take this Business upon me, with the Title of Castleairiano, or Project Examiner, and a Salary of Thirty Thousand Spasma's. The first Project offer'd me, was the laying a Tax on Cloath, and all manner of Stuffs. This I rejected, because it being the chief Manufacture of the Country, it would, by raising the Price abroad, be a Hindrance to the Commerce of the Nation, and give the Cormorants who made it, tho' nothing so fine as the Cacklogallinians, an Opportunity, by under-selling them, to become the chief Merchants in this Branch of Trade. But it would be tedious to mention the many Offers, with my Reasons for accepting or rejecting them, which I once a Week gave a List of to the Minister, who was often so good as to approve my Judgment.
There were Projects for taxing Soot, Corn, Ribbons, for coining all the Plate of the Nobility, for prohibiting the wearing of Gold or Silver. Some were for the Government's taking all the Torchtrees (which gave a Light, and are used like our Candles) and dispose of them, by which great Sums might be raised. Some were for laying a Tax on all who kept Coaches; others upon all who wore Silver or Gold Spurs: But these touching only the Rich, the Minister would not listen to. The Tax which he approved of most, was on the Light of the Sun, according to the Hours it was enjoy'd; so that the poor Peasant, who rose with it, paid for Twelve Hours Day-light, and the Nobility and Gentry, who kept their Beds till Noon, paid only for Six.
Another Tax was laid upon those who drank only Spring Water. This fell altogether on the Poor, for the better Sort drank the Juice of a certain Tree imported from the Bubohibonians.
Whoever had not an Estate in Land of an Hundred Spasma's was also tax'd Ten Spasma's a Year, to be paid out of their Day Labour. He who deliver'd a Project of fetching Gold from the Moon, was caress'd prodigiously, and his way of reasoning approved; tho' I gave it in with a † as rejected by me, yet he was rewarded, and Preparation order'd for the Journey, in which I was commanded to accompany him: For, he insinuated to the Minister, that it was possible the Inhabitants might be of my Species; nay, that I myself might have dropp'd out of that World, which was more reasonable than to believe the Story I told, of having pass'd so great a Sea; and that I very likely had form'd this Story out of a Tenderness to my Country lest his Imperial Majesty should attempt its Conquest.