How to Behave: A Pocket Manual of Republican Etiquette, and Guide to Correct Personal Habits / Embracing an Exposition of the Principles of Good Manners; Useful Hints on the Care of the Person, Eating, Drinking, Exercise, Habits, Dress, Self-culture, and Behavior at Home; the Etiquette of Salutations, Introductions, Receptions, Visits, Dinners, Evening Parties, Conversation, Letters, Presents, Weddings, Funerals, the Street, the Church, Places of Amusement, Traveling, Etc., with Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship, and Rules of Order for Debating Societies

by Samuel R. Wells

V.

DOMESTIC MANNERS.

Home is a little world of itself, and furnishes a sphere for the exercise of every virtue and for the experience of every pleasure or pain. If one profit not by its opportunities, he will be likely to pay dearly for less agreeable lessons in another school.—Harrison.

I.—A TEST OF GOOD MANNERS.

ood manners are not to be put on and off with one's best clothes. Politeness is an article for every-day wear. If you don it only on special and rare occasions, it will be sure to sit awkwardly upon you. If you are not well behaved in your own family circle, you will hardly be truly so anywhere, however strictly you may conform to the observances of good breeding, when in society. The true gentleman or lady is a gentleman or lady at all times and in all places-­at home as well as abroad—in the field, or workshop, or in the kitchen, as well as in the parlor. A snob is—a snob always and everywhere.

If you see a man behave in a rude and uncivil manner to his father or mother, his brothers or sisters, his wife or children; or fail to exercise the common courtesies of life at his own table and around his own fireside, you may at once set him down as a boor, whatever pretensions he may make to gentility.

Dc not fall into the absurd error of supposing that you may do as you please at home—that is, unless you please to behave in a perfectly gentlemanly or ladylike manner. The same rights exist there as elsewhere, and the same duties grow out of them, while the natural respect and affection which should be felt by each member of the family for all the other members, add infinitely to their sacredness. Let your good manners, then, begin at home.

II.—PARENTS AND CHILDREN.

American children (we are sorry to be obliged to say it) are not, as a general rule, well behaved. They are rude and disrespectful, if not disobedient. They inspire terror rather than love in the breasts of strangers and all persons who seek quiet and like order. In our drawing-rooms, on board our steamers, in our railway cars and stage coaches, they usually contrive to make themselves generally and particularly disagreeable by their familiarity, forwardness, and pertness. "Young America" can not brook restraint, has no conception of superiority, and reverences nothing. His ideas of equality admit neither limitation nor qualification. He is born with a full comprehension of his own individual rights, but is slow in learning his social duties. Through whose fault comes this state of things? American boys and girls have naturally as much good sense and good-nature as those of any other nation, and, when well trained, no children are more courteous and agreeable. The fault lies in their education. In the days of our grandfathers, children were taught manners at school—a rather rude, backwoods sort of manners, it is true, but better than the no manners at all of the present day. We must blame parents in this matter rather than their children. If you would have your children grow up beloved and respected by their elders as well as their contemporaries, teach them good manners in their childhood. The young sovereign should first learn to obey, that he may be the better fitted to command in his turn.