Bypaths in Dixie: Folk Tales of the South

by Sarah Johnson Cocke

“Doct’r Peck’rwood say, ‘Surt’n’ly he heah fokes tell ’bout de great Jedge Eagle, an’ fur him ter stay right dar tell he git good an’ well, ’caze he know Mist’r Pine Tree ain’ nuv’r had one er de Eagle fambly at his house b’fo’.’

“Tall Pine say, ‘I’m pow’ful po’ly m’sef, but hit ’ud make me proud ef yer kin make yerse’f comf’bul, an’ stay.’

“Oh, I tell yer, dem Tree Frogs an’ Lizzarts ’buse Mist’r Mount’in Fowel scan’lous. Dey sez he keep ’em runnin’ ev’y which er way all de time, an’ he ain’ give ’em so much es er ole par er shoes.

“Doct’r Peck’rwood g’long ov’r ter Miss Chicken Hawkes’s ter give one de chillun er dost er cast’r oil, an’ he tell ’em dat de gentmun dey seed wus Mist’r Mount’in Fowel, an’ he wus kin ter Jedge Eagle. An’ Polly Parret wus spindin’ de day wid Miss Chickin Hawk dat day, an’ whin de Doct’r g’long off, An’ Polly make Miss Chicken Hawk fix up er nice chickin fur her ter car’y up ter Big Eye. Miss Chickin Hawk want one er her gals ter take de chickin, but An’ Polly say dey too young ter be projickin’ ’roun’ whar gentmuns is at, but hit doan make no diffunce ’bout er ole maid like her. Well, she car’d de chickin, an’ she brung back de news.—Big Eye stuff her so full, dat she can’ hardly fly wid hit. She come ter Miss Magpie’s house, an’ I tell yer dey wus jes’ waitin’ fur her. Dey runs out ter meet her, an’ she bile ov’r ’fo’ she git in de house, an’ ’fo’ she git plum th’u, dem Magpie gals had done put on der fine close, an’ wus totin’ dat news ’roun’ like er gun wus b’hime ’em. Fokes sont him fine vit’als ter eat, an’ say soon es he git so es ter be erbout, dey gwine ’vite him ter some parties.

“All dis time, Big Eye settin’ up on dat lim’ gorgin’ hisse’f wid der fine vit’als, an’ mos’ killin’ hisse’f laffin’ ’bout how fokes loves ter be fool’d. He know hits ’bout time fur him ter be gittin’ well, an’ he set an’ studdy how he gwine git de money ter keep up wid de hifalutin’ a’rs dese fine fokes puts on. Long ’bout dat time, Sis’ Cow’s cousin take an’ die. Dey keeps her out er day er two, ’caze dey fixin’ ter have er fine fun’al. Big Eye git well soon es he heah ’bout dat dead cow. He flop his wings an’ fly back ter Dead Man’s Mount’in, an’ tell de buzzards he got er fine piece er meat ter sell ’em cheap. Dey barg’ins right den an’ dar fur all de dead an’mals on Tink’r, an’ Big Eye sign de corntrack part, ef dey promise dey nuv’r is ter come on Tink’r ter git ’em, ’cep’n on de dark er de moon.”

“BIMEBY HE GIT AX’D TER BE ER PAWL B’ARER TER ALL UV ’EM.”

“Let ’em come in the daytime, Mammy, they can’t see in the dark,” suggested Willis.

“Big Eye know dey’d run him clean off’n Tinker Knob ef dem fokes see he git his livin’ off’n der mis’ry. Nex’ day hyah he come flyin’ back wid er big bunch er fun’al flow’rs wid ribbin streamers flyin’ ev’y which er way. Fokes wint ter de fun’al jes’ ter see de flow’rs. Ev’ybody talkin’ ’bout de gran’nes’ er Mist’r Mount’in Fowel, an’ how he ’tend all de berryin’s, doan keer who ’tis. An’ bimeby he git ax’d ter be er pawl b’arer ter all uv ’em.

“Miss Chickin Hawk give er party long ’bout den, an’ Big Eye he act mouty nice ter her gals, tell Mist’r Turkey Gobl’r ’vite him ter his house, den he fergit he ev’r heah tell er de Chicken Hawkeses. He runnin’ ev’y minite ter Mist’r Turkey Gobl’rs house, makin’ like he wus dancin’ ’tendance on Mandy Gobl’r, an’ all he wanter do is ter git er peep at Tishy Peafowel dat live nex’ do’. Oh, I tell yer he talk purty talk ter Mandy, but he cas’ dem sheep eyes at Tish. Bimeby, Mandy, she pass Big Eye de ’quaintance uv Tishy ov’r de fence, an’ hit ’tain’t long ’fo’ Big Eye gits er invite ov’r ter Majer Peafowel’s. Whin dat hap’n, hit look like he done fergit wharbouts Mandy live, an’ po’ Mandy she look out de wind’r an’ see Big Eye an’ Tishy sashain’ in de yard, lovin’ harder’n er mule kin kick.