Bypaths in Dixie: Folk Tales of the South

by Sarah Johnson Cocke

“Majer Peafowel say he want Tishy ter mar’y Johnny Squinch Owel, ’caze he’s de bigges’ lawyer on Tinker. But Tishy say he too ugly ter look at, let lone ter mar’y.

“Johnny Squinch ain’ sayin’ nuthin’, he jes’ keepin’ er lookout fur Big Eye. He see Big Eye go out sumwhars ev’y dark er de moon, an’ he low he gwine fol’r ’im an’ see whut he do. ’Caze yer knows de dark’r hit gits, de bet’rer Squinch Owels kin see.”

“How can he see in the dark?”

“I dunno how ’tis, Ma’y Van, but de Lawd fixes owels eyes so dey kin ’ten’ ter der night biznes’, an’ whin fokes gits ter lovin’ an’ gits in er tight place like Johnny Squinch wus, de Lawd fixes der eyes so dey kin see th’u de dark an’ ev’y which er way, too. One night on de dark er de moon, Big Eye start out ter meet de buzzards. He got fo’ hosses, an’ two cows, an’ er pass’l er birds. Big Eye, he wus jes’ er takin’ in de money I tell yer. He can’t see hit, but he kin feel uv hit, an’ he know dey darsn’t ter cheat him. But Johnny Squinch settin’ up on er lim’ jes’ ov’r his haid,—he kin count de money, yassuh, ev’y cent uv hit, too. Dey ain’ no eyes kin see like Johnny Squinch’s, ’speshally whin dey’s lovin’. De nex’ day, Majer Peafowel fly up ter Pine Tree Holl’r ter see Mist’r Mount’in Fowel ’bout whut Johnny tell him.”

“Mammy, could Major Peafowl fly up to the top of Mister Tall Pine?” asked Mary Van in amazement.

“Who sed he fly up ter de top? I sed he wint up ter de Pine Tree Holl’r. De Majer ain’ gwine bus’ in nobody’s room les’n he sen’ his cyard up fus’,—an’ how you know dey ain’ got one dem ellumvat’rs like de new hotel got?”

“Oh!” apologetically, she exclaimed.

Phyllis continued, “Whin de Majer ax him ’bout las’ night’s biznes’, Big Eye look him straight in de eye an’ bus’ out laffin’, like hit wus de bes’ joke he ev’r heah. He say he wush ter de Lawd he had er know’d Johnny Squinch wus dar, ’caze he nuv’r wud er bin helt up by dem night rob’rs. He tell him, ’cose he wus countin’ money, but hit wus de money de Jedge give ’im, an’ he say he bleege ter count hit out fur de rob’rs, ’caze dey belt er pist’l in his ribs.

“De Majer brung de news home ter Tishy, an’ she say Johnny jes’ tellin’ tales on Mount’in Fowel, but Johnny tell her Mount’in Fowel ain’ nuthin’ but er big ole low down buzzard, an’ he gwine proof hit ter her.

“De Majer say ef Mount’in Fowel dealin’ in car’on, howcum hit dat de od’r er his biznes’ ain’ stickin’ ter him, dat he allus mighty sweet wid colone whin he come ter der house.