Then Linkin, ses he, "Majer, you've worked like a nailer on these figers, an it's an awful dry an tough subjec. So I think you better have some old rye to sort of top off with." Then he called the feller in purty bad clothes, who does arrands, and telled him to bring out the black bottle. "Now, Majer," ses the Kernel, "take a good swig. It will be healthy for your rumatiz. As for me, I'll jest take a little for company sake. I don't drink myself, you know, Majer, but I like to have a little old rye aroun; an I allus tell the old woman ef there's eny of it missin not to ask eny questshins." After we got dun drinking, ses I, "Kernel, I have been here with you ever sence the 1st of February, an wen I cum I didn't expec to stay more than a month. Now, the 4th of July is comin along close at hand, an I must be thinking about gettin back to Downingville, for I must be there before the 4th. Now," ses I, "Kernel, ef you'll only go along with me down there, as Ginneral Jackson did, I'll promise you a great recepshun."
"Wal," ses he, "Majer, I can't go. The truth is, the rebils need watchin. But you tell the Downingville folks that jest as soon as the rebelyun is put down, I'm comin down ther. A town that can turn out such a loyall regiment as the 'Downingville Insensibles,' and such talented officers as Insine Stebbins, must be, as we Westerners say, 'a heep of a place.' I'm sorry to have you go, Majer, but I hope you'll be able to cum back after the nashinul annyversary."
"Wal," ses I, "Kernel, I can't promis, but I'll see how my rumatiz gets on."
I shall pack up in a few days, onless somethin onexpected occurs, and it may be the next time you heer from me, will be from Downingville. If you print this letter, I hope you'll apologize for its dullness, for figgers are mity dry readin for most peepel. However, ef they don't study into figgers about these days, it won't be long, I'me afeered, before they'll be sorry they didn't.
Your frend,
Majer Jack Downing.
LETTER XI.
The Major Does not go to Downingville—Loses His Hickory—Gets a Bottle of Whiskey by Adams Express Co.—The Major Declines to Sign the Receipt at First—Whiskey and the Constitution—"The Constitushinal Teliskope"—A Magical Change—Mr. Seward's Trick—The Major Discovers it—A Negro in It.
Washington, June 18, 1862.