For want of the confidence and esteem I allude to, there seems to be, in most families, two separate interests—that of the employers, and that of the servants.—Some servants communicate none of their personal affairs to their mistresses, and therefore mistresses are not incited to take any special interest in their future welfare. Hence, although such parties may live a considerable time together, they are almost strangers, and nothing like friendship can take place. This is a great loss to a servant. If you expect to have confidence placed in you, be sincere in all your expressions, and open, explicit, and communicative in all your dealings.
In regard of your fellow-servants—conduct yourselves with great caution towards those whose habits are immoral and irreligious—with studied discretion and modesty towards fellow-servants of the other sex, and with a constant good example before them all. This will oblige them to respect you, and speak well of you: but place yourself under obligation to none of them. Do nothing that you would wish them to keep secret for your sake. Whatever demands secrecy, you may be sure it is wrong for you to do, or suffer to be done. If you connive with fellow-servants, or low tradesmen, at any thing fraudulent, you are defrauding a master or mistress, whose property you are bound to watch and protect; and you incur the guilt and shame of the fraud, though you may not participate in the gain.
As far as you can, give good advice to your fellow-servants, especially younger ones—read the Bible to those who cannot, and, if you have time, teach them to read it for themselves, and pray with them, and for them. This conduct will promote good will, and may preserve the young and unwary from evil.[4]
Servants in other families ought not to be told the peculiar habits and conduct of your own employers, except it be done to their commendation; for it may create disrespect, and can do no good.
In all cases, one way to escape harm is to be diligent and useful. Let others see that you are virtuous from principle, and wish to set a good example, and you will not be assailed by the temptations of the designing and wicked, as vain and trifling girls render themselves liable to be.
Be very careful of your reputation for virtue and discretion in regard of the other sex; for it is the foundation of your happiness in this world; and the loss of it will bring you to misery. Avoid as much as possible going out in the evening, especially on frivolous errands. Be cautious as to whom you give your company. “Evil communications corrupt good manners.” Never go to fairs, dances, nor to the theatres. Ask yourself, before you engage in any pleasuring scheme—what may be the probable end of it?
On all unnecessary occasions, avoid as much as possible being alone with the other sex: as the greatest mischiefs happen from small circumstances. Who that is wise would risk the loss of her virtue and happiness on mere promises, made by men of worthless character, and which are made only to be broken? Never trust entirely to your own fortitude—it can only be tried by opportunity; and if, in this case, it fail but once, you are undone! The best resolve you can form is, never to give opportunity to the tempter. A reserved modesty is the best safeguard of virtue.
If a virtuous affection seems to be rising, be sure you instantly calculate on the age and temper, religious conduct, and probable ability of the man to maintain a family, before you suffer your mind to be carried away, lest your affections run headlong, and at length are taken advantage of, to the complete loss of your comfort.
Servants, as well as others, are under peculiar obligation, to manifest a meek and quiet spirit—to follow, in their practice, Him who said, “I am meek and lowly in heart.” They will, therefore, submit to a few inconveniences, if, by so doing, they may be useful to their fellow-servants, by shewing a Christian spirit, and will consider daily, that self-denial, when our station may require it, is the duty of all.
Our Saviour has thus commanded us:—“Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.” This is a summary of the law and the prophets as to our conduct. It is a general rule, applicable in a thousand cases to persons in every situation. On its due observance by all the people of a house, each toward the other, depends the measure of comfort which may be attained in the present state. The Rule is so reasonable, so just, and so useful, that the neglect of it shews the sad state of our fallen nature. Put yourself, for a moment, in the place of your master, mistress, or fellow-servants; and then judge what you might fairly and justly expect from the servants in the same house. Were you a mistress, you would expect all those duties to be discharged by your servants, which we recommend, and consequently, the mistress, whom you actually serve, justly expects these things from you. Where this mode of thinking and acting is adopted, it prevents many disputes—maintains peace in the house—or soon restores it, if, on some uncomfortable occasion, it happens to have been lost. None of us are without some failings. The best of people are very far from being, at all times, so good as they should be, therefore good servants and good employers will endeavour to put the best construction they can on each others conduct; and judge of each other rather by the general behaviour, than by any particular action.