Writers have too often ignored the influence of an elder sister in the formation of a man's character. There can be little doubt that even before Gordon went out to the Crimea, he was indebted to his sister for much spiritual help, as the following letter, written from Pembroke in 1854, shows:—
"My dear Augusta,—Write another note like the last, when you have time, as I hope I have turned over a new leaf, and I should like you to give me some hope of being received.
"... I got your very kind letter to-day, and am very much obliged to you for it. I have not had time to look out the texts, but will do so to-morrow. I am lucky in having a very religious captain of the 11th, of the name of Drew; he has on the mantelpiece of his room the 'Priceless Diamond,' which I read before yours arrived. I intend sending to you, as soon as possible, a book called 'The Remains of the Rev. R. M'Cheyne,' which I am sure you will be delighted with. I told Drew to go to Mr. Molyneux; and he did so, and of course was highly pleased. I cannot write much in favour of our pastor; he is a worldly man, and does not live up to his preaching; but I have got Scott's 'Commentaries.' I remember well when you used to get them in numbers, and I used to laugh at them; but, thank God, it is different with me now. I feel much happier and more contented than I used to do. I did not like Pembroke, but now I would not wish for any prettier place. I have got a horse and gig, and Drew and myself drive all about the country. I hope my dear father and mother think of eternal things. Can I do or say anything to either to do good? When you get my book, read the 'Castaway.'
"You know I never was confirmed. When I was a cadet, I thought it was a useless sin, as I did not intend to alter (not that it was in my power to be converted when I chose). I, however, took my first sacrament on Easter day [16th April 1854], and have communed ever since.
"I am sure I do not wonder at the time you spent in your room, and the eagerness with which you catch at useful books—no novels or worldly books come up to the Sermons of M'Cheyne or the Commentaries of Scott. I am a great deal in the air, as my fort is nine miles off, and I have to go down pretty often. It is a great blessing for me that in my profession I can be intimate with whom I like, and have not the same trials among my brother officers as those in a line regiment have. I ought not to say this, for 'where sin aboundeth, grace aboundeth more fully;' but I am such a miserable wretch, that I should be sure to be led away. Dearest Augusta, pray for me, I beg of you."
For several years after the date of the above letter, he alludes very little to religion, and if we may accept his own statement on the subject, in a letter from China, dated Taku Forts, 15th March 1862, it is probable that he went back for a time.
"The climate, work, and everything here suits me, and I am thankful to say I am happy both in mind and body. I have had a slight attack of small-pox—it is not necessary to tell my mother this, as it will trouble her. I am glad to say that this disease has brought me back to my Saviour, and I trust in future to be a better Christian than I have been hitherto."
Then followed the stirring adventures he went through in command of the Ever-Victorious Army in China; but that he could not, during that period, have had the full assurance which characterised him later on, and which arises from the witness of the Holy Spirit, is evident from the fact that he once remarked to his aunt, Miss Enderby, that he could not make out how it was that he had feared death so little, when all the time he did not know that he was prepared to die.
On the 19th September 1865, his father passed away a few months after he had taken up his appointment at Gravesend. This event seems to have marked an important crisis in his spiritual life. He shut himself up in complete retirement for a few days, and emerged a very different man from what he had been before. From that time to the day of his death, he was known as an out-and-out Christian. During the previous ten years it is clear, from his letters, that he was in the highest and truest sense a child of God, but there seems to have been something wanting in his character. From the time of his father's death, he seems to have had such a firm assurance in Christ, that religion was the prevailing element of his life.
It is interesting to note that Gordon dedicated himself to the service of God not only in the full vigour of health and strength, but at a time when he might have been, had he chosen, one of the world's favourites. In the case of some, broken health, advancing age, or disappointed hopes and ambitions, are the causes that lead to a search for something more lasting than this world can offer. Thankful as we may be when any man yields to the higher claims of his Heavenly Father, whatever the prompting cause may be, it is satisfactory to be able to record an instance in which apparently none but the highest motives were at work. Gordon at the time of his father's death was only thirty-two years of age, and though young, he had done deeds of heroism which might make many a Victoria Cross hero envy his opportunity and courage. He had seen what the world had to offer, and he decided that there was a nobler life to be led. To that new life he dedicated his remaining years, and, it need hardly be added, he never regretted the choice. As late as the 26th March 1881, after he had just recovered from a severe illness, he remarks: "B—— said, when dying, how glad he was he had sought God in his time of strength, for when he was sinking he could not do so, and so I feel."