“‘“That’s just like a coward,” ses he. “A coward would promise anything to save his skin, and make a promise as quickly as he’d break one.”
“‘“I don’t see for the life of me why you won’t take the word of a decent man,” ses I.
“‘“Wisha, who told you that you were decent?” ses he. “Can’t I see and tell what you are by the shifty look in your eye. To be candid, I wouldn’t trust you as far as I’d throw you, and you with two ferrety eyes, and they so close together that only a rogue, a thief, a bla’guard, or a bully could own them, and one of them blind at that.”
“‘“If you only knew how I lost that winker,” ses I, “’tis the way you’d be taking off your hat to me, and shaking hands with yourself for having met the likes of me.”
“‘“God knows,” ses he, “there’s no limit to the conceit of some and the ignorance of others. I have eaten my dinner off men and women too, that wouldn’t recognise you at a dog fight. There was the King of Himyumhama and his royal daughters, for instance, who were drowned in the Skidderymackthomas. And there were two American millionaires besides, and they as tender and as nourishing as a boiled chicken or a porterhouse steak.”
“‘“I bet you,” ses I, “that you never ate Irish stew.”
“‘“And who the devil would want to eat Irish stew but the Chinese? Sure the Irish themselves never eat it. However,” ses he, “there’s no use trying to convince me against my will. I’m a man of fixed ideas, and people with fixed ideas are nearly as impossible as women. Nevertheless, I suppose you are anxious to get to the shore, and for that I don’t blame you. Like us all, you carry your character in your face, and I won’t lose much by parting company with you. I’m sorry all the same that you haven’t an honest countenance, because a face like yours would do you no more good among decent people than letters of introduction in the United States of America, and they are no more use to any one than the measles or the whooping cough.”
“‘“Well,” ses I, “don’t you think you are talking too much and doing too little?”
“‘“That may be. Sure, my poor father always told me I’d make a good politician. Howsomever, sit up on my back, and I’ll bring you safe and sound to the shore.” And without waiting to say as much as thank you, or anything else, I jumped on his back, and he swam for a few hundred yards, but, lo and behold you! all of a sudden he stopped and turned around to me and ses: “Do you know what?” ses he. “I’m losing confidence in you.”
“‘“Indeed, then, is that so?” ses I.