“‘No,’ ses the King, ‘you wouldn’t think of comparing it to the gift of stupidity, which is the greatest of all gifts, especially when ’tis accompanied by an optimism that nothing could disturb but the gift of poverty itself.’
“‘But be all that as it may,’ ses Matty, ‘no one should give anything away for nothing without making sure that they are going to get something for it.’
“‘Well, if that wouldn’t make an optimist of a man, nothing would,’ ses the King.
“‘What is an optimist?’ ses Matty.
“‘An optimist,’ ses the King, ‘is a pessimist who has acquired the art of self-deception.’
“‘And what is a pessimist then?’ ses Matty.
“‘Oh,’ ses the King, ‘a pessimist is one who has got tired of being an optimist. And now,’ ses he, ‘maybe you could tell me what is the difference between an Irishman and an Irish-American?’
“‘An Irishman,’ ses Matty, ‘by reason of the fact that he was born in Ireland and the product of an older civilization thinks he is a better Irishman than the Irish-American; and the Irish-American by reason of the fact that he was born an American and the product of a younger civilization, thinks he is a better German than an Irish-Irishman.’
“‘If that is the case,’ ses the King, ‘I wouldn’t advise you to commit suicide in Boston, because there are too many Irish-Americans there. And by all accounts the devil a bit they know or care about the Irish, no more than the English themselves. Now let us consider New York. What is the difference between New York and Boston, I wonder?’
“‘There are more tall hats and silk neckties in New York,’ ses Matty. ‘And a native genius could go to his grave undiscovered there as easily as he could in Boston, while the patrons of art and men of letters would be feasting and entertaining foreign celebrities who don’t give a traneen about them.’