“Wisha, indeed I did not then. Who was he at all?” asked Micus.
“He was a distant relation of my own who lived in the good old days when women stayed at home and looked after the children and the household,” said Padna. “And he was as contrary a creature as ever mistook ignorance for knowledge, and like all of his kind he was as happy as the days are long when he was giving trouble to some one else. But, bad luck to him and to all like him, he was the most dissatisfied man that was ever allowed to have all his own way, and ’tis said he could swear in seven languages, and swear all day without getting tired.
“However, though he was queer and contrary, he was a gentleman withal. And he was never known to use his rare vocabulary in the presence of ladies, but would wait until their backs were turned, like a well-trained married man, and then curse and damn them one and all to perdition.”
“And was it the way he disliked women?” said Micus.
“Not exactly, but because he couldn’t find any particular one that he could like better than another. And that was why he made up his mind to leave the country altogether, and go to foreign parts to look for a wife who might be different from any he might find at home,” said Padna.
“Bedad,” said Micus, “Shauno must have been a genius or else a fool, and at times it takes a wise man to know one from the other.”
“Whatever he was, or whatever he wasn’t, one thing is certain, and that is, he was an excellent actor both on and off the stage, and could play the part of poet or peasant, king or beggar, with equal grace and naturalness. And so it was one day, when he got heartily sick of all the tame nonentities he had to deal with, he up and ses to himself: ‘Shauno,’ ses he, ‘there are enough of mollycoddles and pious humbugs in the world without adding to their number, and unless you will do something original now while you are young and foolish, you are not likely to do anything but what some one else tells you to do when you are old.’
“And without saying another word, he went straight home, dressed himself up as Henry the Eighth, and after paying a visit to the mayor of the town, went on board a warship that was lying in the harbour beyond. And when the poor captain saw Shauno attired like a mighty monarch, he got the fright of his life, and never said a word at all until Shauno up and ses: ‘’Tis a fine day, Captain,’ ses he.
“‘I know that myself, already,’ ses the Captain, ‘but who in the name of all the corncrakes in Munster are you, and what brings you here, and what can I do for you besides flinging you overboard to the sharks and the sea gulls?’
“‘Oh,’ ses Shauno, ‘don’t be so eager to do something you may be sorry for. All that I want you to do is to land me in Sperrispazuka within five days, and if you will accomplish the feat, I will raise your wages and promote you to the rank of admiral.’