“‘And who the blazes are you to come here without being invited and give an order like that to myself?’ ses the Captain.
“‘Who the devil do you think I could be, or want to be, you impudent varmint, but Henry the Eighth?’ ses he. ‘By all the people I have made miserable, I’ll have you lashed to the mouth of a cannon, and blown to smithereens if you don’t do what you are told. How dare you insult the King of England and Scotland, not to mention Ireland and Australia?’ ses he.
“Then the bold Captain ses: ‘I beg your Majesty’s pardon,’ ses he. ‘I thought you were some play actor or other who had lost his wits. So I hope you will accept my apology for the mistake I have so unfortunately made, and my stupidity likewise.’
“‘’Tis hard for me ever to forgive or overlook stupidity because, like all religious people, I can’t stand in another the faults I have in a large measure myself. But considering that you have been a faithful servant to the family for a number of years, I will let you off with a caution this time. But be sure and never make mistakes again, unless you know what you are doing,’ ses Shauno.
“‘Thank you for your kind advice,’ ses the Captain. ‘Is there anything I can do now to please or oblige your Majesty?’
“‘There is,’ ses Shauno. ‘Hold your tongue, put full steam ahead, and tell the sailors not to say their prayers aloud, because I am going to bed this very instant, and don’t want to be disturbed. But call me in the morning at eight o’clock sharp,’ ses Shauno. ‘And be sure and have my breakfast ready on time. I will have a busy day to-morrow. I must shave and read the newspaper.’
“‘What will you have for breakfast?’ ses the Captain.
“‘One fathom and half of drisheen, six fresh eggs, three loaves of bread, goat’s ears, ostrich brains, and two heads of cabbage. And I’d like a toothful of something to help me to digest the little repast,’ ses Shauno.
“‘I suppose a keg or two of rum, or a dozen of stout, will do,’ ses the Captain.
“‘As there’s luck in odd numbers, you had better make it three dozen of stout,’ ses Shauno. ‘And if I feel like any more, I’ll let you know.’