The History of Java, v. 1-2

by Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles

If the woman is delivered of a son, the after-birth is immediately cut off with a very sharp knife of bámbu, wrapped in a piece of paper on which is written the Javan alphabet, then laid in a new pot, and buried in the ground, at which place a lamp, covered with a basket of bámbu, and adorned with leaves of the pandánri, is put, and kept burning till the umbilical cord of the child falls off. When this takes place, the child is watched the whole night, by persons who read the history of the Déwas, or of famous princes, or amuse themselves with a wáyang.

As soon as the child is nine months old, the parents entertain their relatives and friends with a wáyang and festival.

Marriages are invariably contracted, not by the parties themselves, but by their parents or relations on their behalf. Such interference (which was common among the Greeks, without the same apology) is rendered necessary by the early age at which the matrimonial union is formed, and the incompetence of either of the intended couple to form a discreet and prudent choice. During the period that intervenes between the application of the friends of the boy to the parents or guardians of the girl for their concurrence in the match, and the obtainment of it, her condition is distinguished by the term tétákon (enquired for): when the consent of her parents is obtained, it is termed lámar (solicited). According to ancient custom, after matters proceeded thus far, a present of different valuables, termed paníng'sat is sent by the intended bridegroom to the bride, and her acceptance of it, implying that she concurs in the previous steps taken towards her settlement, renders the contract binding. The general prevalence of similar customs cannot fail to strike those who are acquainted with the nature of the sponsalia dona of the Romans, and the marriage ceremonies detailed in various passages of Scripture (Genesis, ch. xv. 2; xxiv. 5, &c.) A present of this kind is described as being sent by Pánji Kérta Páti to the Princess Chándra Kirána of Dahá[100], and we are told that it thence became a custom among the Javans.

By any reluctance to complete his engagement, the bridegroom forfeits to his betrothed these earnest gifts (as they may be called); while, on the other hand, if the obstacles to the completion of the marriage originate with her, she is bound to return them. This present is also called patiba sámpir.

This custom, however, is now not so common as formerly: it is in a great measure discontinued or confounded with the next ceremony, termed sárahan (delivered up.) This consists in making various presents to the bride a short time before the day fixed for the marriage, after the delivery of which, the bride and bridegroom are confined to the house, until the ceremony takes place. The period varies; but with people of distinction there generally elapses an interval of forty days between the sárahan and the marriage.

On the day of the marriage (for which one that is considered fortunate[101] is previously selected) the father of the bride proceeds to the mosque, accompanied by the bridegroom, and informing the Panghúlu that the lad whom he presents has agreed to give the sri káwin (generally about two dollars), requests him to marry him to his daughter: on which the Panghúlu inquires of the bridegroom whether he has paid the amount, or is willing to do so? and upon the affirmative being declared, he sanctifies the marriage by words to the following effect:

"I join you, ráden mas (bridegroom), in wedlock with sátia (the bride), with a pledge of two reals weight in gold or silver[102]. You take (sátia) to be your wife for this world. You are obliged to pay the pledge of your marriage (sri káwin), or to remain debtor for the same. You are responsible for your wife in all and every thing. If you should happen to be absent from her for the space of seven months on shore, or one year at sea, without giving her any subsistence, and are remiss in the performance of the duties which you owe to your sovereign, your marriage shall be dissolved, if your wife requires it, without any further form or process; and you will be, besides, subject to the punishment which the Mahomedan law dictates."

Should any circumstance occur to prevent the bridegroom from attending at the mosque on the day selected for the marriage, he follows the singular custom of sending his krís[103] to the ceremony, which is deemed sufficient by the Panghúlu; and afterwards he may appoint a proxy to represent him in the processions which follow. But this is seldom done when a man marries for the first time.

After the ceremony, the bridegroom pays the priest the marriage fees (saláwat), which ought, according to strict Mahomedans, not to exceed fifteen stivers. In most instances, the fees are raised to five times that sum in money, besides in many places a fowl, a hank of cotton-yarn, four kátis of rice, two cocoa-nuts, síri, and fruit.

On the wedding day, or sometimes the day following, the bridegroom dressed in his best clothes, mounted on horseback, accompanied by all his friends, and attended with music in the front and rear, proceeds at noon to the dwelling of the bride, who, on his approach, comes out to meet him at the door. In some districts, before their nearer approach, the bride and bridegroom throw simultaneously a bundle of síri at each other with considerable force, with the intention, it is said, of learning, from the dexterity with which the parties, respectively perform this singular feat, and the success that attends it, which of them will be able best to maintain their privileges, or gain an ascendancy during the continuance of their union. They prognosticate that, if the bundle of the bridegroom touch the head of the bride, it is an infallible sign that he must rule; otherwise, the reverse.