[29] I have known a young collegian of a rather humourous disposition bleat like a lamb at the time of marriage, to the great amusement of all the females, except his mother-in-law, who, simple as she was, took the matter in a serious light, and felt herself almost dejected on account of the great stupidity of her son-in-law (for she could not take it in any other sense), but her dejection gave place to joy when in the Básurghur—the sleeping room of the happy pair for the night—she heard him outwit all the females present. It is obvious that the meaning of this part of the female rite is to render the husband tame and docile as a lamb, especially in his treatment of his wife.
[30] In former days when education was but very scantily cultivated, unpleasant quarrels were known to have arisen between the two parties from very trivial circumstances. The friends of the bridegroom, often pluming themselves on their special prerogatives as members of the strong party readily resented even the slightest insult offered them rather incautiously by the bridal party. These altercations sometimes terminated in blows, if not in lacerated limbs. Instead of waiting till the conclusion of the ceremony, the whole of the bridegroom's party has been known to return home without dinner, to the great mortification of the other party. There is a common saying among the Bengalees that "he who is the enemy of the house should go to a marriage party." It was a common sport with the friends of the bridegroom to cut with a pair of scissors the bedding at the house of the bride. But happily such practices are of rare occurrence now-a-days.
[31] An English gentleman, who, to a versatile genius, combined an intelligent knowledge of, and a familiar acquaintance with, the manners and customs of the country, once advised a Native friend of his to go to England and other great countries on the continent with a number of Hindoo females and exhibit there all the important social and domestic ceremonials of this country in a place of public resort. The very circumstance of Hindoo females performing those rites in the manner in which they are popularly celebrated here, would be sure to attract a very large audience. The marriage ceremonies alone would form a regular night of enchantment and amusement. The time will certainly come when the realization of such an ingenious idea would no longer be held Utopian.
[32] Sweeper-caste females.
[33] According to the prescribed rules of the Hindoo society, a mother-in-law is not permitted to appear before her son-in-law; it is not only considered indecorous, but is associated with something else that is scandalous; hence she always keeps her distance from her son-in-law, but on this particular night, her presence in the room with other females is quite consistent with feminine propriety. In the case of a very young son-in-law, however, a departure from this rule is not reprehensible.
[34] In the suburbs and rural districts of Bengal, females, more particularly among the Brahmin class, are tacitly allowed to have so much liberty on this special occasion that they, putting under the bushel their instinctive modesty, entertain the bridegroom not only with epithalamiums but with other amorous songs, having reference to the diversions of Krishna with his mistress, and the numerous milk-maids. Under an erroneous impression of singing holy songs they unwittingly trumpet the profligate character of their god. These songs are generally known by the names of sákhisungbad and biraha; the former as the designation implies, consist of news as conveyed by the principal milk-maids regarding his mistress, to whom he oftentimes proved false, and the latter of disappointed love, which broadly exhibits the prominent features of his sensuous life. They feel such an interest in these low entertainments, that under the hallowed name of religion they are led to indirectly perpetrate a crime. Frail as women naturally are, the example of such a god, combined with the sanction of religion, has undoubtedly a tendency to impair the moral influence of a virtuous life. I have always regretted this from my personal observation, but to strike a death blow at the root of the evil must be the work of ages. The essential elements of the Hindoo character must be thoroughly recast.
[35] The fee for the trouble of removing the bed and keeping up the night, the ladies who remained in the bed-chamber are justly entitled to it for their pains; a widow, be it observed, is not permitted to touch the bed lest her misfortune would befall the bride, but she gets, however, her portion or share of the fee.
[36] It should be mentioned that a female after her marriage is not allowed to utter the name of her husband or of any of his male and female relatives save those who are younger than she. There is no harm done in taking the name of a husband, but through a sense of shame she does not repeat it.
[37] The Urghi consists of dooav grass, rice and áltá (a thin red stuff made of cotton like paper with which Hindoo females daub their feet,) previously consecrated to the goddess Doorga, and is supposed to possess a peculiar virtue in promoting felicity and relieving distress.
[38] Hindoos are so passionately fond of their children, male or female, that they can but ill brook the idea of a segregation, even under circumstances where it is unavoidable. Hence wealthy families often keep their sons-in-law under their own roof. Sometimes this is done from vanity. Such sons-in-law generally become indolent and effeminate, destitute alike of mental activity and physical energy. They eat, drink, smoke, play and sleep. Fattening on the ample resources of their father-in-law they contract demoralizing habits, which engender vice and profligacy. The late Baboos Ramdoolal Dey, Ramruttun Roy, Prannauth Chowdry, the Tagore families, the old Rajahs of Calcutta and some of the newly fledged English made Rajahs and others, countenanced this practice, and the result is, they have left with but few exceptions a number of men singularly deficient in good moral character. These men are called Ghar Jamayes, or home bred sons-in-law, which is a term of reproach among all persons who have a spark of independence about them. The late Baboo Dinno Bundho Mitter, the celebrated author of "Nil Durpun," strongly satirises such characters in a book called "Jamay Bareek." While on this subject I may as well mention here that Baboo Ramdoolal Dey of Calcutta, who had risen from obscurity to great opulence, had five daughters, to each of whom he gave a marriage dowry of Rupees 50,000 in Government securities, and 10,000 Rupees for a house. Of course all his sons-in-law were first class Koolins, and used to live under the roof of their father-in-law. Some of their sons and grandsons are now ranked amongst the Hindoo millionaires of this great City, while most of the members of the original stock have dwindled into insignificance, strikingly illustrating the instability of fortune.