[38]. She has lost both her children.
Nezleh Hánum requested me three times to remain when I proposed leaving her; and when at length I urged that I must depart, as it was near sunset, she bade me farewell in the most flattering terms she could employ. On quitting her chamber, I found the lady next in rank to her who handed me the coffee and sherbet, waiting with another cup of sherbet for me to take en passant. I mention this because it is always intended as a distinguishing mark of honour. Several ladies accompanied us to the door, and the treasurer followed me with the present of an embroidered handkerchief from her highness.
Do not think me egotistical, because I describe thus minutely my reception: I consider it important in a description of manners, especially as the receiving and paying visits is the every-day business of an Eastern lady; and by thus entering into detail, I hope to give an idea of the extreme politeness which characterises those with whom I am acquainted. I may also add, that I think it due to the hareem of the Pasha, and others of distinction, to show the respect they manifest towards the English. Were I a person of rank, there would be nothing remarkable in the honourable attentions I receive; but as a private lady, I confess they are exceedingly beyond my anticipations. On quitting the Kasr, my attention was attracted by one of the most perfect visions of loveliness I have had the gratification of seeing, in the person of a white slave-girl about seventeen years of age. She stood leaning her head against the doorway, while the line of beauty was described to perfection in the grace of her attitude: her complexion was delicately fair; and her hair and eyes were neither of them dark, but of that gentle shade of brown which harmonizes so charmingly with a fair complexion. I cannot minutely describe her features; for there is a perfection of beauty which defies description, and such was hers. There was an expression of melancholy on her sweet countenance, and something so impressive in her appearance, that those who have seen her once cannot forget her.
I fear that I shall not soon receive my summons to the wedding in the Pasha’s hareem. There seems to be some cause for delay which I do not know; and it is a subject respecting which I cannot, consistently with politeness, ask any questions of those who are able to give me the desired information; but a cousin of the Sultán told me, a few days ago, with the utmost gravity, in allusion to this affair, that there remained one point unsettled, namely, the choice of a bridegroom! Every thing else was arranged. Among the great, in this part of the world, the wishes of a daughter who is to be given away in marriage seem to be very seldom considered. She is nourished and brought up in the expectation of a day when she will be delivered over by her parents to the protection of a husband, a stranger to her both in person and in mind. You may well wonder that such conduct can be tolerated in any land; and may sigh for those helpless women who are disposed of in this manner; but the reform of such a practice, under present circumstances, is impossible; for I am perfectly confirmed in my opinion that the women themselves would shrink with horror at the proposal to make an intended husband personally acquainted with his wife before the marriage.
Marriages among the middle classes in this city are often conducted with much display of a most singular kind. A bridal procession, which passed a few days ago through the principal streets in our neighbourhood, was headed by a fool, or buffoon, who, mounted on a horse, and attired in the most grotesque manner, with a high pointed cap, and a long false beard, performed a variety of ridiculous antics. Two men upon camels, each beating a pair of kettle-drums, of enormous but unequal dimensions, attached to the saddles, immediately followed the fool. Then came a man bearing a cresset, formed of a long pole, having at the top several receptacles for flaming wood, which were covered with embroidered handkerchiefs. This cresset, the proper use of which is to serve as a light at night, was thus used merely for display. Next came a man on tall stilts, and two swordsmen gaily attired in cloth of gold, brandishing drawn swords, and occasionally engaging in a mock fight. The swordsmen were succeeded by two dancing men, and these by vocal and instrumental musicians, singing and playing with the utmost vigour. Then followed five boys, each about five or six years of age, attired in female apparel of the richest description, heavy with gold, and decorated with a profusion of women’s ornaments composed of gold and costly jewels, which dazzled the sight. These boys were being paraded previously to circumcision; and each of them partly covered his face with a folded embroidered handkerchief, to guard against the evil eye. They were followed by four women, whose office had been to summon the female friends to the wedding. Each of these, who, like all who followed them, were on foot, had a rich piece of cloth of gold thrown over her left shoulder, with the edges attached together on her right side. The pieces of cloth were presents which they had received. About thirty young girls, all veiled and handsomely dressed, and then about the same number of married ladies (the latter of whom, enveloped in their black silk habarahs, looked, to the eye of a European, as if they were attired for a funeral rather than for a wedding) followed next; and then came the bride. She was entirely covered by a rich Cashmere shawl, as usual; but upon that part of it which covered her head-dress and bridal crown were attached such splendid jewelled ornaments as are seldom seen except in the hareems of grandees. Attended by two female relations, one on each side of her, followed by others, and preceded by a woman, who walked backwards, constantly fanning her (notwithstanding the coldness of the weather) with a large fan of black ostrich-feathers, she walked under a canopy of yellow gauze, supported by four poles, at the upper ends of which were attached embroidered handkerchiefs. Behind this walked a band of musicians. The whole was like one of those scenes described in the Thousand and One Nights; so gay, so brilliant, and so strikingly Eastern. The procession advanced almost as slowly as a tortoise.
While on the subject of processions and marriage, I may mention a late ridiculous occurrence, arising out of a matrimonial case. Four lawyers of our neighbourhood were last week condemned to hard labour, and paraded through the streets on asses, with their faces towards the tails, for illegal conduct in a suit respecting a refractory wife. In illustration of their offence, I may remind you of a case, which I heard referred for judgment to our neighbour Deborah; that of a young man who agreed to take as his bride a girl reported to have but one eye, because she was a person of property. He did take her, and expended an extravagant sum upon the wedding festivities; but the affair did not end as he expected. He found his wife to be about thirteen years of age, a little delicate child; but possessing some spirit; for she positively and obstinately refused to acknowledge him as her husband. Having been legally married, he could only divorce her, or cause her to be registered as refractory; and he adopted the latter course; in consequence of which he is not obliged to support the girl, her family doing so until she shall resign herself to him. Cases of this kind are of frequent occurrence, and though it often happens that a woman twenty years of age submits without a murmur to be married to a man of threescore, a girl who has not long passed the commencement of her “teens” very seldom will accept a husband whose chin shows him to be a man.
LETTER XXII.
February, 1844.
My dear Friend,