I've accepted myself as a homosexual, and am happy at work, and feel productive. I am less anxious in relationships with others now. Although I still feel negative judgment from my family, I no longer have suicidal thoughts. I realize that I should live in a way that is true to myself and that others may differ, but I'm OK myself.
I sometimes will give myself a treat, something I never used to do. I will buy myself something that maybe is a little bit frivolous, but I think of this as my own therapy. I feel better about myself and deny myself less. I was almost a stoical nun before. Now I care more about myself. I used to think that spending money to have my hair done was silly and a waste of money. Now I think that if it makes me feel good about myself, and I want to treat myself to it, why not?
I used to analyze everything to the point that I didn't enjoy much and was always asking myself, like the bumper-sticker, am I having fun yet? Now, I just let some things be. It doesn't pay for me to question everything all the time. Now, when I don't like a person, I just accept this. I don't feel guilty because I couldn't see their better side, and I don't feel hostile just because for me the person isn't more likable.
WHAT MAKES PSYCHOTHERAPY SUCCESSFUL
It is not so much the teacher who teaches but
the student who learns.
Whether or not the client gets value for fee paid to a psychotherapist depends largely on the client.
Don Diespecker in
Does Psychotherapy Really Help People?
Psychotherapy is much more like education than it is like medicine. In education, certain students—no more or less intelligent than others—will nevertheless be more successful. They have well-known characteristics: they are interested in what the experience of education can offer them, and they work hard and regularly.
Very much the same thing holds true in psychotherapy: some clients simply get more from therapy than others. Why? In part it has to do with how well matched a client and the approach of the therapist are. In part it is the amount of confidence the client comes to feel toward the therapist as a person. Beyond these, the qualities of a successful client are very similar to those of a successful student.
Specifically, clients who have successful experiences in therapy tend to share these characteristics: