“Pig not mad—tickled by the sand in his ear—all eaten by the boys and the mat-man—curse their stomachs!—sheep driven over the precipice—worth ten shillings—Oh!—villainy unheard of—the world was innocent till now—all former villainy child’s play to this—the latter day is coming fast—signs like these are not given for nothing! The prophets have said”—
“What’s become of all the fine lard, you cut-throat villains?” whined Sheeny, in the most touching accents, thinking of the tesian vroy, or short cake, that was lost to her forever; while the younger lasses looked bewildered at the prophetic passage alluded, and wondering where it was to be found. As nobody answered her interesting inquiry, Sheeny continued to bite her nails and drum the devil’s tattoo with the heel of the wooden shoe; while Hukin Heer grinned like a demon at the mischief which he had made.
Both Morris and Sheeny were at length roused from their stupor by the inquiry of Hukin,—“Well, what be you going to do with them? I have a couple of hairy halters in my pockets here, that I brought for the purpose; we had better tie their hands behind them, and send them at once in a cart to jail, where they will be hanged, drawn, and quarted, as a warning to all rogues who take away the lives of innocent dogs,”—“and pigs!” roared Griffith; “and sheep!” shrieked Sheeny, as a climax to the whole.
Twm and Moses were on the alert, and in less time than it takes us to narrate the fact, Moses threw a three-legged stool at the informer, and that with such force that it fractured the elbow-bone of his right arm. In an instant Hukin recovered himself, and was about to rush on the young Jew. But Twm Shon Catty was ready, his “soul was in arms and eager for the fray.” As Hukin advanced, Twm launched a heavy oaken stool at his head, which laid his lank carcass on the floor, bathed in blood. The scene was almost taking a tragic turn when Sheeny changed its spirit by attacking Moses with a birch broom, while one of the younger was pricking him in the breech with a toasting-fork, till he blared like a beaten calf. In the confusion of the fray, Shaan attacked her father with a dirty flummery ladle, that whitened and disfigured his black beard and whiskers, as if a barber had commenced his operations, while the good man stood open-mouthed marvelling whether these were not additional signs of approaching doom.
Aware that these ladle-bastings were intended for himself, Twm caught Shaan behind, and holding her elbows fast to her sides, gave her a twist round, and inflicting a tremendous kiss on her fat blubbery lips; then pouting with passion, he loosened his hold, and springing over the prostrate carcass of Hukin Heer, retreated through the doorway in good order. Moses followed, but with considerable confusion; dodging his head, and rubbing his seat of honour in his retreat, as the visions of birch-brooms and toasting-forks haunted him long after he was far beyond their reach, whilst seating himself was made a painful operation, and he mentally thought he had undergone the same punishment as he had seen somewhere in an old print, where his satanic majesty was impaling an old witch in that portion of her body, for the convenience of which, chairs were originally invented.
CHAPTER XIV.
The flight of the Israelite and Mike. Mirth changed to grief. Killing by kindness, and saving by neglect. A bright vision, and a supernatural seánce. The end of the miserly household.
On Twm’s rushing out of the house, he sought his bed in the hay-loft, and laying himself down, laughed incessantly, at the thought of the scene just passed; at the same time wondering what had become of his luckless fellow in mischief, whom he momentarily expected to follow him. Moses, however, was so confused by his head-drubbings from the broom of Sheeny, and tail-piercing from the fork of little Gwenny, that failing to see Twm in his retreat, he ran straight forward, without knowing whither. But the very legs of Moses without the guidance of his head, seemed to have a predilection for the favourite road which led to the house of feasting; as in this instance they bore him without pause, till housed in the hovel of Mike, the mat-man.
Poor Mike, he found busied in packing up, and loading his pony with a cargo of mats, and preparing for immediate departure, fearing that day-light would send somebody to take cognizance of the share which he had taken in devouring Morris Greeg’s swine-flesh. Moses related all that had passed, and entreated that he might become his companion in his present excursion; assuring him that he had as sweet a voice for crying mats as he could meet with in a month’s march.
Mike assented, and told him to fortify his stomach with what his hut afforded, against the dangers of the midnight air, a hint which was seldom thrown away upon him. The good-natured wife of the mat-man earnestly requested her husband to divide the head of the pig (the only part left!) between himself and Moses. That youth seconded the motion; observing it was dangerous to leave any portion of it behind, as, though dead, it might tell tales, and be claimed by some of the Greeg family; feelingly remarking, “if you have any more pork, rather than you should get into a scrape, I’ll risk it, and take it all myself.—I am not so selfish as to begrudge to carry it.”