Clever Teacher.—The vicar of a Somerset parish was noted for his extremely precise enunciation. He was in the habit of taking the Scripture lessons in the village school, and had spent some time on "The Lives of the Patriarchs." One morning he questioned a class upon the story of Jacob. "What did Isaac tell Jacob to do when he left home after obtaining the blessing?" asked the vicar, pointing to a dull, big boy. "He told un to pay the man, zur," was the response. "To pay the man!" replied the vicar wonderingly; "what man?" "Please, zur, I doant 'zacly remember what his other name were, but 'twere Dan somebody or other." The vicar lost the point of the answer; but the teacher, with keen appreciation, quoted softly to herself, "Arise, go to Pa-dan-aram," and she thought the boy was not wholly to blame for thinking that Dan Aram was a man, and ought to be paid.
Rough on the Deacon.—"Explain," said the teacher, "all you can about the words Bishop, Priest, and Deacon." "I never saw a Bishop," wrote one hopeful. "A Priest is a man in the Old Testament, and a Deacon is a thing you pile up on the top of a hill and set fire to it!"
The Thirteenth Apostle.—The question was: "How many Apostles were there?" "Thirteen," said one little chap. "Thirteen!" repeated the teacher in astonishment. "I thought there were only twelve!" "St. Matthew," replied the boy, "tells us the names of twelve, and St. John gives us the name of the other one—Verily, that Jesus used to talk to so much."
CHAPTER VI.
THE FOND PARENT.
"Political Economy is the science that teaches us to get the greatest benefit out of the least possible amount of honest labour."—WEARY WILLY, JUNIOR.