"He Hasn't To Eat Sweets."—"Now, Johnnie," said a teacher, "if I gave you a dozen sweets and you divided them equally between your brother and yourself, how many would you give him?" "Please, sir, none sir! Cos' mother says he hasn't to eat sweets when he has worms."
He Knew.—H.M. Inspector (examining village school): "What is the opposite of a 'spendthrift?'" No answer. "Well, what would you call a man who sends you on errands and gives you nothing for going?" Boy: "Parson, sir." [Confusion of parson who was present and had gained a reputation for close-fistedness.]
Jack's Prayer.—Little Jack's father was visiting London and Christmastide was approaching. He had promised to bring a toy train for his little son as a present from Father Christmas. The day that the father was to travel Jack prayed—
"God bless papa, and bring him home safely,
And—and—and his luggage!"
Under a New Name.—First class had taken poetry for the year from Scott's "Marmion." In repeating simultaneously, one girl, whose understanding of the sense must have been very hazy, amused her classmates by repeating instead of—
"Where's Harry Blount, Fitz-Eustace, where?"
"Where's Harry Brown which used to swear?"