Not to be Beaten.—A short time ago a lady gave a children's party, to which a little boy of four was invited. The next day he was giving some account of the fun, etc., etc., and said that every little visitor had contributed either song or recitation, music or dance, for the pleasure of the rest. "Oh dear! Jack!" said his mother "How very unfortunate you could do nothing!" Jack (with bravado): "Yes I could. I was not to be beaten, so I just stood up and said my prayers!"
Fold Arms.—Inspector enters babies' room smiling. Inspector: "Now, all look at me; I want you to be very good. What is it to be good?" Baby hand rises. Inspector: "Well?" Baby: "Please, mam, to fold our arms." Inspector: " Oh! How does that make you good?" Baby: "Please, mam, it keeps our bellies warm."
Self-Possessed.—She was four, and had just been promoted from the babies' class. It was a "number" lesson, and the little maid was first given three small blocks and then two others. "How many have you now?" she was asked. "One and one make two," was the reply. "Yes, I know, but I asked how many blocks you had now?" "One and one make two," was again the answer. "Yes, but what do three and two make?" The little arithmetician removed her thumb from her mouth, jerked it in the direction of the small boys at the other side of the room, and said, "One o' them'll tell you."
One Reason.—Vicar (catechising on cruelty): "Can any boy tell me what those marvellous insects are that travel on tracks of their own making in the woods?" Chorus: "Ants." Vicar: "Quite right. Now I have seen boys cruel enough to stamp on the laborious ants. Should you do so?" Chorus: "No, sir." Vicar: "Girls don't stamp on ants. Why not, Todd?" Todd: "Please, sir, 'cos they gets up their legs!"
Rough on the School-Board Man.—Letter from parent: "Dear Miss,—Pleese to scuse my Arry from a comin to scool this afternoon as 'e was nocked down by a bycycle this mornin an I dont want none of them nosey old scool bored men after me, from Mrs. ——."