Why Rachel was Away.—"Dear Madam,—Plese exkuse Rachel Abrams as she had to go and fech her mother's liver."
'Nuff Said.—A tiny tot in the babies' room was being scolded by her teacher for having dirty hands. "You naughty girl! how dare you come to school with those dirty hands?" With tears streaming down her face the little tot answered, "Pease, teacher, I ain't dot no more!"
A Sensational Opening.—Teacher giving object-lesson on "Mice" to five-year-olds before H.M.I. introduces lesson by asking, "What animal is it which, when you are in bed, comes out of its hole and runs about the floor?" Five-year-old (in loud tones): "It is the li-on!"
Excused.—"Plese sur mister will you escus Charlee not been to scool as he as got no trouses and is farther wont let him come without—your torueley Mrs. B——."
The Pharisees.—By a small Londoner: "The Fareses was a very minjy, measley lot. One day one of them gave Our Lord a penny, and Our Lord held it out in His hand and looked at it with scorn, and said, 'Whose subscription is this?'"