Balaam and the Ass.—The story as reproduced in a South London boy's essay: "It was about an owld gentleman as was a-wallopin' of a donkey and as the donkey was stupied he whached it with a stick, the donkey ran agin a wall and squeezed the gentlemans leg and he walloped it then and no mistake and serve it right. Then the donkey began to speak and told him, and told him he was wicked to serve him in that ere style, and a angel come down and took sides with the donkey and preached a sarmint to the owld gentleman and they all went away jolly."
An Excuse for Late Arrival at School.—The village tailor sent a note to the schoolmaster as his son James was very late one afternoon. The following is the effusion:—
"Schoolmaster dear don't cane the youth,
He's not in fault to tell the truth,
His mother is the greatest sinner.
She would not give the kid his dinner."
Dropped into Poetry.—The following reply, writes a teacher, was received by me some years ago from a parent, evidently of a poetical turn of mind, in answer to an inquiry as to the cause of his boy's absence from school:—
"I'm full of wants and minus riches,
Truth is, William has no breeches,
I mean to buy a pair to-night,
To-morrow he will come all right.
Accept this plain apology
From, dear Sir, ever yours, E. B."
On another occasion I suspected William of truant-playing, and sent a boy to make inquiry, when immediately came back the answer:—
"At one p.m. was sent to school,
So must have played the nick,
If thrashing truants is a rule,
With my leave, use the stick."