THE TWO THOUSAND LOOBIES AND GABERLUNZIES
(Roaming nervously to and fro, reading.) “At this moment, the sun sinking low in the West, the faint West wind stirring in the leaves, the pellucid rill tinkling gently—so, for a heart-beat, he saw her.” (Each holds up a restful hand.)
SHISHMASH HASH HASH
(Executing three steps to the left and four to the right and spinning on his right toe.) Your Referendunces! Most Worthy and Grand Referendunces! Is the High Court of Progress of the Federated Republics of the World now ready to receive the reports of the various battalions of Law, Order, Peace, Justice, Truth, etc., accredited to this Court? They await your Referendunces’ pleasure without. (At this another herculean attempt is made to arouse the assembled judges of the Musnud. The fifty Dizzards who are in direct attendance on the Moonshees begin whistling between their teeth and striking them with their feather-clubs. The one hundred Hoddy-Doddys stir up the multitude in the front rows by dusting off their ears and noses with their long-poled feather-dusters. The one hundred Zanys rattle their wind-bags, and the two thousand Loobies and Gaberlunzies read intently and with vigor, each holding up a hand. The five thousand Nizys hurry here and there offering souffle to all.)
THE ONE HUNDRED MOONSHEES, ROCTOR-PROCTORS, ZADKIELS, ETC.
(Stirring slightly and opening their eyes.) Souffle! Souffle! (Great panniers of souffle are fed to them, and they relapse into slumber.)
THE FIFTY DIZZARDS
(Seeing they have the Moonshees partially awake.) Your Referendunces! Most worthy Referendunces! The Secretary of the Honorable Court desires to know is it ready to receive the first division of the assembled Battalions of Knowledge now about to report as to the present state and progress of the world? (A vast murmur of “Hee-haw!”—the 30th century expression of approval—passes over the assemblage. SHISHMASH HASH HASH executes four more hand-springs, lights gracefully on his back and slowly draws his toes up to his fingers, thus gradually assuming a standing position, and bows. The fifty Dizzards whistle between their teeth and beat the Moonshees vigorously with their feather-clubs. The Zanys rattle their wind-bags lustily. Fifty of the one hundred Moonshees awake and call for more souffle. Five hundred tons are at once distributed to the audience, and quiet is restored.)
THE MOONSHEES, ROCTOR-PROCTORS, ZADKIELS, ETC.
(Stirring feebly and pushing the feather-dusters out of their eyes. In chorus.) What is the question? What is the question? (They sink back heavily on their pillows. SHISHMASH HASH HASH throws four fits and attempts to insert his left foot in his mouth, then stands at attention while four Dizzards, lifting aloft silk banners on which are pictures of keys of knowledge and open books, fall to the ground and get up again. The one hundred Hoddy-Doddys tickle the noses of the Moonshees frantically. The five thousand Nizys throw handfuls of souffle in the faces of the audience and spin on one foot. The two thousand Loobies and Gaberlunzies rear and plunge, murmuring “Shush! Shush!” then read.)