Yours, &c.
Pomigny of Auvergne, to Mr. Abel of London, Singing-Master.
SIR,
THE sons and daughters of harmony that crowd in daily upon these coasts surprise us equally with your capacities and misfortunes. We are generally of the opinion here, that the muses are as well receiv’d in England, as in any other climate whatever. Men are charm’d there at so small an expence of wit or performance, that, one of your endowments might well have hop’d to outrival my felicity, and be something more exalted than to the embraces of a queen. My parentage was as little remarkable in France, as yours in England; and though I had better luck, durst not pretend I had a better voice. From a singing-boy, I push’d my fortune so as to succeed my own sovereign. From the choir I rose to the chamber; from the chamber I was preferr’d to the closet; and from thence was advanc’d to be vice-roy over all the territories of love: I was lord high-chamberlain to Cupid, and comptroller of the houshold to Venus. Every delectation superseded my very wishes; nor cou’d I have ask’d for the thousandth part of the blandishments I enjoy’d. I was as absolute in my love as the grand seignior: ’twas for my dear sake the fond princess rais’d her maids of honour’s beds, that she might not hurt her back (as she had frequently done) in creeping under to fetch me out. ’Twas for my dear sake, that if they but nam’d my name when absent, in the raptures of her impatience, she run against the doors, threw down the screens; hurt her face against the mantle-trees and cabinets. She broke at times as much in looking-glasses, stands, and china, in the eager transports of her joy to meet me coming into the room, as by computation, wou’d have fitted out a fleet of fifty sail of capital ships. These were princely rewards for a man’s poor endeavours to please: who would not bring up their children in a choir? or who would not learn to sing? you have met, I must confess, Sir, with but small encouragement in the main, and made but a slender fortune in comparison of what might have been reasonably expected from your talents: the most civiliz’d quarter of the world has been your audience, and admirer; and you have left every where a name, that cannot die but with musick, and that will survive even nature; for in the numerous cracklings of the last conflagration, there will be, as it were, a noble symphony, that she may cease to be in proportion, and what is her apothesis, will draw the curtain to a new creation. But that enlargement of our knowledge, which is the necessity of our spiritualization, shows me there is a malevolency in the influences of your stars, that will ever dash your rising hopes, and oppose your fortune. You cannot but have heard how Alexander the Great very generously distributed all the spoils to his soldiers, and contented himself with glory for his dividend. Thus your consolation must be, whenever the fickle goddess frowns upon you; that noble resolution of being above contempt, shows a magnanimity of mind equal to the greatest philosopher. But virtue is very often unfortunate, nay, sometimes oppress’d.
Here are some devilish, ignorant, censorious, lying people, that will maintain, you were so impertinent as to give a gentleman, the trouble of cudgelling you, and there are many here whose wicked tempers are improv’d by the conversation of the place, as rogues by being in Newgate, and those give credit to the aspersions; but the tribe of Helicon endeavour your justification, for he that cou’d charm the king of Poland’s bears with the warbling accents of his mellifluous tongue, might with the same harmony have mov’d the sturdy oak, and that is as heavy as a hundred canes. ’Twas the glory of Arion, that the stones danced after his lyre; and as long as there are poets it will be said, that Orpheus drew the tigers and the trees, to listen to his trembling lays. May you not justly expect a place in the volumes of immortality, since it may be all said literally true of you, that was but a fable of these darlings of our forefathers? no matter if some people put an ill construction on it, the best actions of our lives are subject to be traduc’d.—— Here was a dear joy of quality suffer’d the discipline of the place for stealing the diamond ring from you, that the king of France gave you at Fountainbleau: to mitigate the blackness of the fact, he alledg’d the necessitousness of his condition, and that it was pity so many gallant men should want for their loyalty, while a jackanapes cou’d get an estate for a song. At this, Rhadamanthus order’d him a hundred stripes more for his pride in affecting a character his own confession had so far derogated from. There are some considerable stars that rise in Bavaria, whose influences are inauspicious to you; for, among friends, ’twas no better than robbing him to run away with his money, and especially before you had done any thing for it. However, this may be your consolation, that the duke can’t say you cheated him to some tune. Here is a consort of musick composing against the king of France makes his entrance: out of gratitude to his generosity, you ought to make one of ’em; I can get you a lodging near Cerberus’s apartment; ’twill be convenient for you to confer notes together for he is much the deepest base of any here.
If your leisure will permit, I should be glad of some news from the favourites of Parnassus: I am continually at the chocolate house in the Sulphurstreet. I shall look upon the obligation in Ala-mi-re in Alt.
Mr. Abel’s Answer.
SIR,
IF the advice be seasonable, ’tis no great matter from whence it comes; though ’tis not what one wou’d readily expect from a person of your climate; but that too renders the obligation so much the more binding. I was not so well acquainted with the ancient intrigues of the French court as to call your name to remembrance, but by the delicious expression of your wanton delights, I presum’d you might have been a Mahometan eunuch, because you seem’d to describe their paradice in part; what cou’d I tell whether more of that felicity came to your share or not? I met Aben-Ezra the Jew, but he knew nothing of you; at last a French refugee set me right. When I consider your private history I am amaz’d at your raptures, and that you could be so void of common reason, more especially after you had been so long spiritualiz’d, which you tell me, enlarges the understanding, as to set a value upon your self for raking a kennel, only because it belonged to court. To have charm’d a person of an exalted extraction, as I did, and to bring her to be the loving wife of my bosom, was vanity without infamy. But your captive queen was a queen of sluts, equally the infamy of her own sex, as you were the contempt of ours. ’Twas very pathetically said of her by her brother, when he gave her in marriage to the king of Navarre, that he did not give his Peggy in marriage to the king of Navarre alone, but to all the Hugonots of his kingdom, and if he had said, all the Roman Catholicks too, it had hardly been an hyperbole. For ever since she was nine years old, she never deny’d any thing that was a man; no, not so much as her own brother. She had so great an inclination to be obliging, that she would not refuse even old age, and did not condemn even the blackest scullion-boy of her kitchin: she was the refuse of a hundred thousand several men’s embraces before she took up with you. So that I see no such mighty ground for your vanity and ostentation: and if there were not other more beneficial expectations from the choir, I should advise but very few to follow it: not but that a fair friend in the Palace-yard, a kind friend in Charles-street, or a pretty intimate acquaintance near the Bowling-Alley, may help to pass away some leisure hours when the Abbey is lock’d up; however that is not sufficient to tempt a man to C-fa-ut it all ones life-time.
I ever found an inbred aversion to Ireland, and your news gives me more convincing reasons why I should not affect ’em: for to be stripp’d by some, and stripp’d by others, would of itself give a man an unfavourable Impression of such people. As for the freedom you take in diverting yourself at my expence, I easily pass it by: but your censoriousness scandalizes me, when so many very deserving persons of all ranks, sexes and qualities, as are my good friends and benefactors, are made the subject of your raillery. I do not want to be spiritualis’d to see thro’ your banter, when you make me even superior to Orpheus and Arion; I smell what you wou’d be at, by being follow’d by tigers, blocks and stones: but it is lucky enough for you, that you are out of their reach: as for the article of Bavaria, I can say but little to it more than I thought the time was come, when the Israelites should spoil the Egyptians. You have such continual couriers from these parts, that you cannot be long ignorant of the minutest springs by which all affairs are kept in motion. To me they seem everywhere to be at much the same rate, like a horse in a mill, ’tis no matter who drives him. I thank you for your kind offer, in providing me lodgings; but I have so many of my friends gone there of late, that I shall unwillingly be from them: however, I shall always study to improve your good opinion, and continue theirs. If any accident calls me to your parts about that time, I shall gladly assist at the king of France’s entry; for doubtless it will be done with a most noble solemnity, and every way answerable to the character of such a monarch. But as time is more precious here than in your country, I must beg you to excuse me, for I am just sent for to the tavern. Adieu.