“‘Hullo,’ sais she, ‘here’s the devil to pay, and no pitch hot. Are you a goin’ to kill that boy, massa?’ and she seized hold of me and took me away from him, and caught me up in her arms as easy as if I was a doll.
“‘Here’s a pretty hurrahs nest,’ sais she, ‘let me see one of you dare to lay hands on this brave pickininny. He is more of a man than the whole bilin’ of you put together. My poor child,’ said she, ‘they have used you scandalous, ridiculous,’ and she held down her nasty oily shiny face and kissed me, till she nearly smothered me. Oh, Doctor, I shall never forget that scene the longest day I ever live. She might a been Rose by name, but she warn’t one by nature, I tell you. When niggers get their dander raised, and their ebenezer fairly up, they ain’t otter of roses, that’s a fact; whatever Mrs Stowe may say. Oh, I kicked and yelled and coughed like anything.
“‘Poor dear boy,’ she said, ‘Rosy ain’t a goin’ to hurt her own brave child,’ not she, and she kissed me again and again, till I thought I should have fainted. She actually took away my breath.
“‘Come,’ said she, and she set me down on my feet. ‘Come to the house, till I put some dry clothes on you, and I’ll make some lasses candy for you with my own hands!’ But as soon as I touched land, I streaked off for home, as hard as I could lay legs to the ground; but the perfume of old Rose set me a sneezing so, I fairly blew up the dust in the road as I went, as if a bull had been pawin of it, and left a great wet streak behind me as if a watering-pot had passed that way. Who should I meet when I returned, but mother a standin at the door.
“‘Why, Sam,’ said she, ‘what under the sun is the matter? What a spot of work? Where in the world have you been?’
“‘In the mill pond,’ said I.
“‘In the mill pond,’ said she, slowly; ‘and ruinated that beautiful new coat I made out of your father’s old one, and turned so nicely for you. You are more trouble to me than all the rest of the boys put together. Go right off to your room this blessed instant minite, and go to bed and say your prayers, and render thanks for savin’ your clothes, if you did lose your life.’
“‘I wish I had lost my life,’ said I.
“‘Wish you had lost your life?’ said she. ‘Why you miserable, onsarcumsised, onjustified, graceless boy. Why do you wish you had lost your life?’
“‘Phew, phew,’ said I, ‘was you ever kissed by a nigger? because if you was, I guess you wouldn’t have asked that are question,’ and I sneezed so hard I actually blew down the wire cage, the door of it flew open, and the cat made a spring like wink and killed the canary bird.