“‘Sam, Sam,’ said she (‘skat, skat, you nasty devil, you—you have got the knary, I do declare.) Sam! Sam! to think I should have lived to hear you ask your mother if she had ever been kissed by a nigger!’ and she began to boohoo right out. ‘I do believe in my soul you are drunk, Sam,’ said she.
“‘I shouldn’t wonder if I was,’ said I, ‘for I have drunk enough to-day to serve a cow and a calf for a week.’
“‘Go right off to bed; my poor dear bird,’ said she. ‘And when your father comes in I will send him to your cage. You shall be punished for this.’
“‘I don’t care,’ sais I, for I was desperate and didn’t mind what happened, ‘who you send, providin’ you don’t send black Rose, the nigger wench, to me.’
“Well, in about an hour or so I heard father come to the foot of the stairs and call out ‘Sam.’ I didn’t answer at first, but went and threw the winder open ready for a jump.
“Thinks I, ‘Sam, you are in great luck to-day. 1st. You got nearly drowned, savin’ that little brat Zeb Snell. 2nd. You lost a bran new hat, and spoilt your go-to-meetin’ clothes. 3rd. Mrs Snell boxed your ears till your eyes shot stars, like rockets. 4th. You got an all-fired licking from old Colonel Jephunny, till he made a mulatto of you, and you was half black and half white. 5th. You got kissed and pysoned by that great big emancipated she-nigger wench. 6th. You have killed your mother’s canary bird, and she has jawed you till she went into hysterics. 7th. Here’s the old man a goin’ to give you another walloping and all for nothin. I’ll cut and run, and dot drot me if I don’t, for it’s tarnation all over.’
“‘Sam,’ sais father again, a raisin’ of his voice.
“‘Father,’ sais I, ‘I beg your pardon, I am very sorry for what I have done, and I think I have been punished enough. If you will promise to let me off this time, I will take my oath I will never save another person from drowning again, the longest day I ever live.’
“‘Come down,’ said he, ‘when I tell you, I am goin’ to reward you.’
“‘Thank you,’ sais I, ‘I have been rewarded already more than I deserve.’