In one thing, indeed, all the journals agreed, Spite of "politics," "bias," or "party collision;" Viz.: to "give," when they'd "further accounts" of the deed, "Full particulars" soon, in "a later Edition."
But now, while on all sides they rode and they ran, Trying all sorts of means to discover the caitiffs, Losing patience, the holy Gengulphus began To think it high time to "astonish the natives."
First, a Rittmeister's Frau, who was weak in both eyes, And supposed the most short-sighted woman in Holland, Found greater relief, to her joy and surprise, From one glimpse of his "squint" than from glasses by Dollond.
By the slightest approach to the tip of his Nose, Megrims, headache, and vapours were put to the rout; And one single touch of his precious Great Toes Was a certain specific for chilblains and gout.
Rheumatics,—sciatica,—tic-doloureux! Apply to his shin-bones—not one of them lingers;— All bilious complaints in an instant withdrew, If the patient was tickled with one of his fingers.
Much virtue was found to reside in his thumbs; When applied to the chest, they cured scantness of breathing, Sea-sickness, and cholic; or, rubb'd on the gums, Were "A blessing to Mothers," for infants in teething.
Whoever saluted the nape of his neck, Where the mark remain'd visible still of the knife, Notwithstanding east winds perspiration might check, Was safe from sore-throat for the rest of his life.
Thus, while each acute and each chronic complaint Giving way, proved an influence clearly divine, They perceived the dead Gentleman must be a Saint, So they lock'd him up, body and bones, in a shrine.
Through country and town his new Saintship's renown As a first-rate physician kept daily increasing, Till, as Alderman Curtis told Alderman Brown, It seem'd as if "Wonders had never done ceasing."
The Three Kings of Cologne began, it was known, A sad falling off in their off'rings to find, His feats were so many—still the greatest of any,— In every sense of the word, was—behind;