For the German Police were beginning to cease From exertions which each day more fruitless appear'd, When Gengulphus himself, his fame still to increase, Unravell'd the whole by the help of—his beard!
If you look back you'll see the aforesaid barbe gris, When divorced from the chin of its murder'd proprietor, Had been stuff'd in the seat of a kind of settee, Or double-arm'd chair, to keep the thing quieter.
It may seem rather strange, that it did not arrange Itself in its place when the limbs join'd together; P'rhaps it could not get out, for the cushion was stout, And constructed of good, strong, maroon-colour'd leather.
Or, what is more likely, Gengulphus might choose, For Saints, e'en when dead, still retain their volition, It should rest there, to aid some particular views, Produced by his very peculiar position.
Be that as it may, on the very first day That the widow Gengulphus sat down on that settee, What occurr'd almost frignten'd her senses away, Beside scaring her hand-maidens, Gertrude and Betty.
They were telling their mistress the wonderful deeds Of the new Saint, to whom all the Town said their orisons: And especially how, as regards invalids, His miraculous cures far outrivall'd Von Morison's.
"The cripples," said they, "fling their crutches away, And people born blind now can easily see us!"— But she, (we presume, a disciple of Hume,) Shook her head, and said angrily, "Credat Judæus!"
"Those rascally liars, the Monks and the Friars, To bring grist to their mill, these devices have hit on.— He works miracles!—pooh!—I'd believe it of you Just as soon, you great Geese,—or the Chair that I sit on!"
The Chair,—at that word—it seems really absurd, But the truth must be told,—what contortions and grins Distorted her face!—She sprang up from her place Just as though she'd been sitting on needles and pins!
For, as if the Saint's beard the rash challenge had heard Which she uttered, of what was beneath her forgetful, Each particular hair stood on end in the chair, Like a porcupine's quills when the animal's fretful.