School Girls' Etiquette.—Etiquette is not so formal among school girls, though its form remains the same. Propinquity in classes, and the being thrown together by mutual aims and interests, excuses informal friendliness. In some women's colleges there are what may be termed "unwritten laws"—school traditions—never set down in books but handed on from class to class. Thus a member of a lower class would not take precedence of a Senior, either on entering or leaving a room, or at table. She would introduce her friends, even her parents, to the Senior and to any member of the Faculty instead of the Senior to them. These little matters of punctilio have to be learned by observation, or by the grace of some friendly classmate who happens to be conversant with them.
[688 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]
CARD AND CALLING ETIQUETTE.
For Women.—Card etiquette has been jocosely termed "going into society in a pasteboard way." Yet cards have a very essential part in the social regime. They are the expedient resorted to by the woman with a large circle of acquaintances and many engagements, for keeping herself in mind.
A card represents a visit, or acknowledges a courtesy in the way of an invitation, There are well-defined rules which regulate the use of cards, familiarity with which is necessary to all who have social aspirations. And the questions most frequently asked by the novice relate to whom and when they should be sent or left.
A General Rule.—Though calling has, in a degree, "gone out of fashion," the general rule is that a woman should call on her friends and acquaintances once a year. This signifies the desire to continue the relationship. If she finds her friend at home she gives her name to the maid and at the conclusion of the visit leaves her card on a table or some convenient place. If her friend is out, the maid receives her card on a tray. In each case a visit has been paid and the card is a reminder that the obligation has been discharged. At this call, if it is the first, or expected to be the only one of the year, a married woman leaves one of her cards for each lady in the family, and one of her husband's for each lady and one for the man of the house. One card, of her husband's may include several grown daughters. If she calls again during the season, she may leave her own cards only, though she should acknowledge an invitation received by her husband by leaving his cards. Cards are never to be handed to the lady of the house or any member of the family.
After Social Functions.—Now here is the law as regards leaving cards after social functions: After receiving invitations to receptions, dinners, luncheons, card parties or evening entertainments, calls are to be made within a week after the event, whether one has accepted or not. However, in some localities, it is thought correct to leave cards at the time if one attends the function, or send them if not attending. It is safest to ascertain the local custom in advance. The correct etiquette is to call afterwards.
An invitation to a church wedding necessitates sending cards to those in whose name the invitation was issued and to the newly wedded pair. The same is true of announcement cards. Cards for an afternoon tea do not require reply; those present leave their own cards and those of any member of the family who was invited but did not attend.
After Absence.—Another use of cards is when one returns home after a long absence. Cards with one's address are sent to previous acquaintances, as a notification that the sender wishes to resume her social relations. In case of a friend's illness, one should call to make personal inquiries, leaving a card on which is written "To inquire." After a death, cards may be left or sent, on which it is correct to write "With sincere sympathy." After the funeral, cards are sent by those bereaved to those who have thus manifested regard, with the words "With thanks for kind inquiries" or remembrances.
Thus we see cards are not meaningless, but indicate courtesy, kindly interest and regard.