The procession is on a grand scale; every friend or acquaintance, together with their elephants, are pressed into the service of the bridegroom on this night of Barāt. The young man himself is mounted on a handsome charger, the legs, tail, and mane of which are dyed with mayndī, whilst the ornamental furniture of the horse is splendid with spangles and embroidery. The dress of the bridegroom is of gold cloth, richly trimmed, with a turban to correspond, to the top of which is fastened an immense bunch of silver trimming, that falls over his face to his waist, and answers the purpose of a veil (this is in strict keeping with the Hindu custom at their marriage processions). A select few of the females from the bridegroom’s house attend in his train to bring home the bride, accompanied by innumerable torches, with bands of music, soldiers, and servants, to give effect to the procession. On their arrival at the gate of the bride’s residence, the gentlemen are introduced to the father’s apartments, where fire-works, music, and singing, occupy their time and attention until the hour for departure arrives.
The marriage ceremony is performed in the presence of witnesses, although the bride is not seen by any of the males at the time, not even by her husband, until they have been lawfully united according to the common form.
The Maulawī commences by calling on the young maiden by name, to answer to his demand, “Is it by your own consent this marriage takes place with ——?” naming the person who is the bridegroom; the bride answers, “It is by my consent.” The Maulawī then explains the law of Muḥammad, and reads a certain chapter from that portion of the Qurʾān which binds the parties in holy wedlock. He then turns to the young man, and asks him to name the sum he proposes as his wife’s dowry. The bridegroom thus called upon, names ten, twenty, or, perhaps, a hundred lacs of rupees; the Maulawī repeats to all present the amount proposed, and then prays that the young couple thus united may be blessed in this world and in eternity. All the gentleman then retire except the bridegroom, who is delayed entering the hall until the bride’s guests have retreated into the side rooms; as soon as this is accomplished he is introduced into the presence of his mother-in-law and her daughter by the women servants. He studiously avoids looking up as he enters the hall, because, according to the custom of this people, he must first see his wife’s face in a looking-glass, which is placed before the young couple, when he is seated on the masnad by his bride. Happy for him if he then beholds a face that bespeaks the gentle being he hopes Fate has destined to make him happy. If otherwise, he must submit; there is no untying the sacred contract.
Many absurd customs follow this first introduction of the bride and bridegroom. When the procession is all formed, the goods and chattels of the bride are loaded on the heads of the carriers; the bridegroom conveys his young wife in his arms to the covered palankeen, which is in readiness within the court, and the procession moves off in grand style, with a perpetual din of noisy music, until they arrive at the bridegroom’s mansion.
The poor mother has, perhaps, had many struggles with her own heart to save her daughter’s feelings during the preparation for departure; but when the separation takes place, the scene is affecting beyond description. I never witnessed anything equal to it in other societies; indeed, so powerfully are the feelings of the mother excited, that she rarely acquires her usual composure until her daughter is allowed to revisit her, which is generally within a week after her marriage. (See Mrs. Meer Hasan Alī’s Indian Musalmāns, vol. i. p. 46.)
The above description of a wedding in India has been selected as representative of such ceremonies; but there is no uniform custom of celebrating Muslim nuptials, the nuptial ceremonies in Afghanistan being much more simple in their character, as will be seen by the illustration given on the preceding page.
Mr. Lane, in his Modern Egyptians, gives the following interesting account of a wedding in Egypt:—
“Marriages in Cairo are generally conducted, in the case of a virgin, in the following manner; but in that of a widow, or a divorced woman, with little ceremony. Most commonly, the mother, or some other near female relation, of the youth or man who is desirous of obtaining a wife, describes to him the personal and other qualifications of the young women with whom she is acquainted, and directs his choice; or he employs a ‘khatʾbeh,’ or ‘khatibeh’ (k͟hāt̤ibah), a woman whose regular business it is to assist men in such cases. Sometimes two or more women of this profession are employed. A khatʾbeh gives her report confidentially, describing one girl as being like a gazelle, pretty and elegant and young; and another as not pretty, but rich, and so forth. If the man have a mother and other near female relations, two or three of these usually go with a khatʾbeh to pay visits to several hareems, to which she has access in her professional character of a match-maker; for she is employed as much by the women as the men. She sometimes, also, exercises the trade of a ‘dellaleh’ (or broker), for the sale of ornaments, clothing, &c., which procures her admission into almost every hareem. The women who accompany her in search of a wife for their relation, are introduced to the different hareems merely as ordinary visitors; and as such, if disappointed, they soon take their leave, though the object of their visit is, of course, well understood by the other party; but if they find among the females of a family (and they are sure to see all who are marriageable) a girl or young woman having the necessary personal qualifications, they state the motives of their visit, and ask, if the proposed match be not at once disapproved of, what property, ornaments, &c., the objects of their wishes may possess. If the father of the intended bride be dead, she may perhaps possess one or more houses, shops, &c.; and in almost every case, a marriageable girl of the middle or higher ranks has a set of ornaments of gold and jewels. The women visitors, having asked these and other questions, bring their report to the expectant youth or man. If satisfied with their report, he gives a present to the khatʾbeh, and sends her again to the family of his intended wife, to make known to them his wishes. She generally gives an exaggerated description of his personal attractions, wealth, &c. For instance, she will say of a very ordinary young man, of scarcely any property, and of whose disposition she knows nothing, ‘My daughter, the youth who wishes to marry you is young, graceful, elegant, beardless, has plenty of money, dresses handsomely, is fond of delicacies, but cannot enjoy his luxuries alone; he wants you as his companion; he will give you everything that money can procure; he is a stayer at home, and will spend his whole time with you, caressing and fondling you.’
“The parents may betroth their daughter to whom they please, and marry her to him without her consent, if she be not arrived at the age of puberty; but after she has attained that age, she may choose a husband for herself, and appoint any man to arrange and effect her marriage. In the former case, however, the khatʾbeh and the relations of a girl sought in marriage usually endeavour to obtain her consent to the proposed union. Very often a father objects to giving a daughter in marriage to a man who is not of the same profession or trade as himself; and to marrying a younger daughter before an elder! The bridegroom can scarcely ever obtain even a surreptitious glance at the features of his bride, until he finds her in his absolute possession, unless she belong to the lower classes of society; in which case it is easy enough for him to see her face.
“When a female is about to marry, she should have a ‘wekeel’ (wakīl, or deputy), to settle the compact and conclude the contract, for her, with her proposed husband. If she be under the age of puberty, this is absolutely necessary; and in this case, her father, if living, or (if he be dead) her nearest adult male relation, or a guardian appointed by will, or by the Kadee, performs the office of wekeel; but if she be of age, she appoints her own wekeel, or may even make the contract herself; though this is seldom done.