| [II. 4.] | Scene 4. |
| enter Leonida, apparently in a rage. | |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Quid hoc sit negoti, neminem meum dictum magni facere? Libanum in tonstrinam ut iusseram venire, is nullus venit. ne ille edepol tergo et cruribus consuluit haud decore. | What does this mean? Does no one mind what I say? I toldLibanus to come to the barber's shop, and he never came atall. By the Lord, he hasn't given due thought to the welfareof his hide and shanks, that's a fact! |
| Merc. | Trader |
Nimis imperiosust. | (aside) A precious domineering chap! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Vae mihi. | (affecting terror) Oh, I'm in for it! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
410Hodie salvere iussi Libanum libertum? iam manu emissu's? | (to Libanus ironically) Ah, greetings to Libanusthe freedman, is it, to-day? Have you been manumitted now?(advancing) |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Obsecro te. | (cowering) Please, please, sir! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Ne tu hercle cum magno malo mihi obviam occessisti. cur non venisti, ut iusseram, in tonstrinam? | By heaven, I'll certainly give you good reason to regretcrossing my path. Why didn't you come to the barber's, asI ordered? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Hic me moratust. | (pointing to trader) This gentleman delayed me. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Siquidem hercle nunc summum Iovem te dicas detinuisse atque is precator adsiet, malam rem effugies numquam. tu, verbero, imperium meum contempsisti? | (without looking at trader) Damme! You can go on andsay Jove Almighty detained you, yes, and he can come hereand plead your case, but you shall never escape a flogging.You scorned my authority, you whipping post? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Perii, hospes. | (running behind trader) Oh kind stranger, I'm a deadman! |
| Merc. | Trader |
Quaeso hercle noli, Saurea, mea causa hunc verberare. | By Jove, Saurea! Now, now, don't flog him, for my sake! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Utinam nunc stimulus in manu mihi sit. | (paying no attention) Oh, if I could only get hold ofan ox goad now! |
| Merc. | Trader |
Quiesce quaeso. | Now, now, calm down. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Qui latera conteram tua, quae occalluere plagis. 420abscede ac sine me hunc perdere, qui semper me ira incendit, cui numquam unam rem me licet semel praecipere furi, quin centiens eadem imperem atque ogganniam, itaque iam hercle | So as to stave in those ribs of yours that have growncallous to blows! (to trader) Out of my way, and letme murder the rascal that always sets me afire withrage, that never lets one order from me suffice for one job,the criminal, but keeps me commanding and growling the samething a hundred times over. Good Lord, it's come to thepoint where I can't stand the work, what with yelling andstorming at him! |
clamore ac stomacho non queo labori suppeditare. iussin, sceleste, ab ianua hoc stercus hinc auferri? iussin columnis deici operas araneorum? iussin in splendorem dari bullas has foribus nostris? | Didn't I tell you to carry off this dungfrom the doorway, you villain? Didn't I tell you to cleanthe spiders' webs off the columns? Didn't I tell you to rubthese door knobs till they shone? |
nihil est: tamquam si claudus sim, cum fustist ambulandum. quia triduom hoc unum modo foro operam adsiduam dedo, dum reperiam qui quaeritet argentum in faenus, hic vos 430dormitis interea domi, atque erus in hara, haud aedibus habitat, em ergo hoc tibi. | It's no good: anyone wouldthink I was lame, the way I have to travel around after youwith a cane. Because I've been constantly busy at the forumjust for the last three days, trying to find some one toplace a loan with, here you've been drowsing all the time athome, and your master living in a pig-pen, not a house.There now, take that! (strikes him) |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Hospes, te obsecro, defende. | Kind stranger! For heaven's sake protect me! |
| Merc. | Trader |
Saurea, oro, mea causa ut mittas. | Come, Saurea, do let him off for my sake. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Eho, ecquis pro vectura olivi rem solvit? | (to Libanus) Hey, you! Did anyone pay for theshipping of that oil? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Solvit. | Yes, sir. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Cui datumst? | Who to? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Sticho vicario ipsi tuo. | To Stichus himself, sir, your own deputy. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Vah, delenire apparas, scio mihi vicarium esse, neque eo esse servom in aedibus eri qui sit pluris quam illest. sed vina quae heri vendidi vinario Exaerambo, iam pro eis satis fecit Sticho? | Hm-m! trying to smooth me down! To be sure I have a deputy,and there's not a slave in the master's house that is a morevaluable man than that deputy, either. But how about thewine I sold to Exaerambus the vintner yesterday—has hesettled with Stichus for it yet? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Fecisse satis opinor, nam vidi huc ipsum adducere trapezitam Exaerambum. | I reckon he has, sir: for I saw Exaerambus bringing thebanker here himself. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Sic dedero. prius quae credidi vix anno post exegi; nunc satagit: adducit domum etiam ultro et scribit nummos. 440Dromo mercedem rettulit? | That's the style for me! Last time I trusted him I barelygot the money out of him a year afterwards. Now hepays his bills: even brings his banker over to the housebesides, and writes his cheque. Has Dromo brought home hiswages? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Dimidio minus opinor. | Only half, I think. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Quid relicuom? | And the rest? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Aibat reddere quom extemplo redditum esset; nam retineri, ut quod sit sibi operis locatum efficeret. | He said he'd give it to you as soon as it was given to him;claimed it was kept back so that he'd finish up a job thatwas placed with him. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Scyphos quos utendos dedi Philodamo, rettulitne? | Those cups that I lent Philodamus—has he returned 'em? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Non etiam. | Not yet. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Hem non? si velis, da,[11] commoda homini amico. | Hey? No? (sourly) Give things away, if youlike,—give 'em to a friend on loan. |
| Merc. | Trader |
Perii hercle, iam his me abegerit suo odio. | (half aside, wearily) Oh, the devil! The fellow willbe driving me off before long with his confounded talk. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Heus iam satis tu. audin quae loquitur? | (aside to Leonida) Hi, you! That's enough now! D'yehear what he says? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Audio et quiesco. | (aside to Libanus) I hear; I'll calm down. |
| Merc. | Trader |
Tandem, opinor, conticuit. nunc adeam optimum est, prius quam incipit tinnire. quam mox mi operam das? | (aside) Silent at last, I do believe. Best approachhim now before he begins to rattle on again. (aloud toLeonida) How soon can you give me your attention? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Ehem, optume. quam dudum tu advenisti? 450non hercle te provideram—quaeso ne vitio vortas— ita iracundia obstitit oculis. | (looking at him and affecting surprise) Aha!Splendid! How long have you been here? Well, well, I hadn'tnoticed you before! I trust you won't feel offended. I wasso angry that it affected my eyesight. |
| Merc. | Trader |
Non mirum factum est. sed si domi est, Demaenetum volebam. | Nothing strange in that. But I wished to see Demaenetus,if he is at home. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Negat esse intus. verum istuc argentum tamen mihi si vis denumerare, repromittam istoc nomine solutam rem futuram. | He (indicating Libanus) says he's not in. But as tothat money, though,—count it out to me, if you like, andthen I'll engage that your account with us is settled. |
| Merc. | Trader |
Sic potius, ut Demaeneto tibi ero praesente reddam. | I should prefer to make the payment in the presence of yourmaster Demaenetus. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Erus istunc novit atque erum hic. | (protestingly) Oh, master knows him and he knowsmaster. |
| Merc. | Trader |
Ero huic praesente reddam. | (firmly) I shall pay him in his master's presence. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Da modo meo periculo, rem salvam ego exhibebo; nam si sciat noster senex fidem non esse huic habitam, suscenseat, quoi omnium rerum ipsus semper credit. | Oh now, give it to him, at my risk: I'll make it all right.Why, if our old man knew Saurea here was doubted, he'd befurious: he always trusts him with everything himself. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
460Non magni pendo. ne duit, si non volt, sic sine astet. | (very superior) It's of no importance. He can keepit, if he wants. Let him stand by with it there. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Da, inquam. vah, formido miser, ne hic me tibi arbitretur suasisse, sibi ne crederes. da, quaeso, ac ne formida: salvom hercle erit. | (aside to trader) I say, do give it to him. Oh dear,this is awful! I'm afraid he'll think I persuaded you not totrust him. Give it to him, for mercy's sake, and don't beafraid. Good Lord, it'll be all right! |
| Merc. | Trader |
Credam fore, dum quidem ipse in manu habebo. peregrinus ego sum, Sauream non novi. | I trust it will be, so long as I keep hold of it myself,anyway. I am a stranger here: I don't know Saurea. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
At nosce sane. | (pointing to Leonida) Well, just make hisacquaintance, then. |
| Merc. | Trader |
Sit, non sit, non edepol scio. si is est, eum esse oportet. ego certe me incerto scio hoc daturum nemini homini. | Whether he is the man or not, I don't know, by gad. If heis, he is, of course. I certainly do know that when I amuncertain I give this (showing a wallet) to nobodyon earth. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Hercle istum di omnes perduint. verbo cave supplicassis. ferox est viginti minas meas tractare sese. nemo accipit aufer te domum, abscede hinc, molestus ne sis. | Be damned to the fellow! (to Libanus) Not a word ofentreaty, you! He's puffed up at having the handling of myeighty pounds. (to trader) No one will take it! Homewith you! Away with you! Don't bother me! |
| Merc. | Trader |
470Nimis iracunde. non decet superbum esse hominem servom. | (scoffingly) Quite in a pet! The idea of a mere slavebeing arrogant! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Malo hercle iam magno tuo, ni isti nec recte dicis. | (to Libanus) By heaven, you'll soon pay dear for it,if you don't abuse him! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Impure, nihili. non vides irasci? | (loudly to trader) You dirty thing, you, you goodfor nothing! (in lower tone) Don't you seehe's angry? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Perge porro. | (to Libanus) Go on, get at him! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Flagitum hominis. da, obsecro, argentum huic, ne male loquatur. | (loudly) You scandal of a man! (in lower tone)Do give him the money, for heaven's sake, so that he won'tcall you bad names. |
| Merc. | Trader |
Malum hercle vobis quaeritis. | Gad! It's a bad time you two are looking for. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Crura hercle diffringentur, ni istum impudicum percies. | (to Libanus) By the Lord, your legs shall be brokento splinters, if you don't give that shameless rascal ablowing up. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
Perii hercle. age impudice, sceleste, non audes mihi scelesto subvenire? | (to trader in low tone) Oh Lord! I'm in for it!(loudly) Come, you shameless rascal, you wretch,won't you help me, poor wretch that I am? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Pergin precari pessimo? | (to Libanus) Continuing to coax that criminal, areyou? |
| Merc. | Trader |
Quae res? tun libero homini male servos loquere? | (getting indignant) How is this? You dare to abuse afree man, you, you slave? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Vapula. | You be thrashed! |
| Merc. | Trader |
Id quidem tibi hercle fiet, ut vapules, Demaenetum simulae conspexerohodie.[12]479 | Be thrashed? Precisely what will be done to you, by gad,the moment I set eyes on Demaenetus to-day! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
484-485Quid, verbero? ain tu, furcifer? erum nos fugitare censes? ei nunciam ad erum, quo vocas, iam dudum quo volebas. | What, you whipping post? So, you gallows-bird? D'ye think weskulk from our master? On with you straight to the masteryou summon us to, the master you've wanted to see this longtime past. (goes toward forum) |
| Merc. | Trader |
Nunc demum? tamen numquam hinc feres argenti nummum, nisi me dare iusserit Demaenetus. | At last, eh? But never a penny do you get from me, unless Iam instructed to give it to you by Demaenetus. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Ita facito, age ambula ergo. tu contumeliam alteri facias, tibi non dicatur? tam ego homo sum quam tu. | All right, all right! Come, step along, then! Do you want toinsult another man and not get it back? I'm as much of a manas you are! |
| Merc. | Trader |
Scilicet. ita res est. | No doubt. Quite so. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
490Sequere hac ergo praefiscini hoc nunc dixerim: nemo etiam me accusavit merito meo, neque me alter est Athenis hodie quisquam, cui credi recte aeque putent. | Come along this way, then. (stops) If I may say sowithout presumption, let me tell you this now: noone has ever yet accused me justly, and there's not a singleother man in all Athens that people think worthy of suchconfidence as me, either. |
| Merc. | Trader |
Fortassis. sed tamen me numquam hodie induces, ut tibi credam hoc argentum ignoto. lupus est homo homini, non homo, quom qualis sit non novit. | I dare say. But notwithstanding, never will you induce meto-day to trust this money to you, a stranger, (somewhatapologetically) "Man is no man, but a wolf, to a stranger." |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Iam nunc secunda mihi facis. scibam huic te capitulo hodie. facturum satis pro iniuria; quamquam ego sum sordidatus, frugi tamen sum, nec potest peculium enumerari. | (encouraged) Now there, that's decent of you! I knewyou'd soon be making amends to a good fellow for doing himan injustice. No matter if I do look shabby, I'm an honestman just the same, and as for the cash I've laid by—itcan't be counted. |
| Merc. | Trader |
Fortasse. | (sceptically) I dare say. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Etiam[13] Periphanes Rhodo mercator dives 500absente ero solus mihi talentum argenti soli adnumeravit et mihi credidit, nequest deceptus in eo. | Even Periphanes, the rich trader from Rhodes, counted outtwo hundred pounds to me when master was away and we wereall by ourselves,—he trusted me, and he wasn't deceived indoing so, either. |
| Merc. | Trader |
Fortasse. | I dare say. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
Atque etiam tu quoque ipse. si esses percontatus me ex aliis, scio pol crederes nunc quod fers. | Yes, and even you yourself, too, if you had only inquiredfrom others about me, I know you would trust me with whatyou've got there, good Lord, yes! |
| Merc. | Trader |
Haud negassim. | (icily) I should be sorry to deny it. (motionsLeonida to lead the way to Demaenetus) [exeunt the three to the forum,Leonida ireful. |
| [ACTVS III] | ACT III |
|
(Half an hour has elapsed.) enter Cleareta and Philaenium from their house. | |
| Cle. | Cle. |
| Nequeon ego ted interdictis facere mansuetem meis? an ita tu es animata, ut qui matris expers imperio sies? | Have I no power to make you submit when I prohibit a thing? Can it be that you feel inclined to rid yourself of your mother's authority? |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Ubi piem Pietatem, si istoc more moratam tibi postulem placere, mater, mihi quo pacto praecipis?[14] (507) | How should I be showing myself duteous to Filial Duty, mother, if I tried to please you by practising such practices and doing as you prescribe? |
| Cle. | Cle. |
| (509) Hocine est pietatem colere. matris imperium minuere? | Is this regarding filial duty, to lessen a mother's authority? |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| 510 Neque quae recte faciunt culpo neque quae delinquont amo. | I don't find fault with mothers that do right, and I don't like ones that do wrong. |
| Cle. | Cle. |
| Satis dicacula es amatrix. | A glib enough little hussy! |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Mater, is quaestus mihi est: lingua poscit, corpus quaerit; animus orat, res monet. | (lightly) All in my profession, mother: tongue asks, body teases; fancy prompts, circumstances suggest. |
| Cle. | Cle. |
| Ego te volui castigare, tu mi accusatrix ades. | I intended to scold you, and here you are turning on me! |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Neque edepol te accuso neque id me facere fas existimo. verum ego meas queror fortunas, cum illo quem amo prohibeor. | Oh, no! I'm not turning on you: I don't think that would be right. But I do think it's a cruel fate to be kept away from the man I love. |
| Cle. | Cle. |
| Ecqua pars orationis de die dabitur mihi? | Am I to get some share of the speechmaking before nightfall? |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Et meam partem loquendi et tuam trado tibi; ad loquendum atque ad tacendum tute habeas portisculum. quin pol si reposivi remum, sola ego in casteria 520 ubi quiesco, omnis familiae causa consistit tibi. | I give you my share and your own, too: you can be boatswain yourself and give the signal for talking and keeping still. But goodness me, if I once lay down the oar, I, and stay by myself resting in the rowers' room, the progress of this whole household stops short, you see. |
| Cle. | Cle. |
| Quid ais tu, quam ego unam vidi mulierem audacissimam? quotiens te votui Argyrippum filium Demaeneti compellare aut contrectare, conloquive aut contui? quid dedit? quid ad nos iussit deportari? an tu tibi verba blanda esse aurum rere, dicta docta pro datis? ultro amas, ultro expetessis, ultro ad te accersi iubes illos qui dant, eos derides; qui deludunt, deperis. | Look here! Of all the impudent young misses I have ever seen! How many times have I forbidden you to have communication or contact or chitchat with Demaenetus's son, Argyrippus, or to cast your eyes on him? What has he given us? What has he had sent us? Do you think pretty speeches are gold pieces, witty words presents? You make love to him yourself, run after him yourself, have him called yourself. Men that give you things you treat with contempt; those that trifle with you you dote on. |
| an te id exspectare oportet, si quis promittat tibi te facturum divitem, si moriatur mater sua? ecastor[15] nobis periclum magnum et familiae portenditur, 530 dum eius exspectamus mortem, ne nos moriamur fame. nunc adeo nisi mi huc argenti adfert viginti minas, ne ille ecastor hunc trudetur largus lacrumarum foras. hic dies summust quo est[16] apud me inopiae excusatio. | Have you any business waiting for it to happen, if a man does promise to make you rich, if his mother dies? Mercy me, while we wait for her to die, up looms a big risk of ourselves and our household dying of starvation! Now let me tell you this: unless he brings me eighty pounds, I swear to goodness that fellow shall be bundled out of the house, liberal as he is—of tears! This is the last day I accept pleas of poverty. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Patiar, si cibo carere me iubes, mater mea. | Tell me to do without food, mother dear, and I'll endure that. |
| Cle. | Cle. |
| Non voto ted amare qui dant quoia amentur gratia. | I have nothing to say against your loving men who give you something to be loved for. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Quid si hic animus occupatust, mater, quid faciam? mone. | What if my heart isn't free, mother? What then? Advise me. |
| Cle. | Cle. |
| Em, meum caput contemples si quidem ex re consultas tua. | Look! Consider these grey hairs of mine, if you really have any regard for your own good. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| 539, 540 Etiam opilio qui pascit, mater, alienas ovis, aliquam habet peculiarem, qui spem soletur suam. sine me amare unum Argyrippum animi causa, quem volo. | Even the shepherd that pastures other peoples' sheep has some ewe lamb of his very own, mother, one that he builds happy hopes on. Do let me love Argyrippus alone, the man I want, just for love's sake. |
| Cle. | Cle. |
| Intro abi, nam te quidem edepol nihil est impudentius. | Inside with you! Why, mercy on us, a more shameless minx than you really can't exist. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Audientem dicto, mater, produxisti filiam. |
(tearfully) You've trained ... your ... daughter ...
to ... be obedient ... mother. [exit Philaenium into house, followed by Cleareta. |
| [III. 2.] | Scene 2. |
| enter from forum Libanus and Leonida, latter carrying a wallet. | |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Perfidiae laudes gratiasque habemus merito magnas, quom nostris sycophantiis, dolis astutiisque,[17] (546) advorsum stetimus lamminas,[18] crucesque compedesque, (548) 549, 550 nervos, catenas, carceres, numellas, pedicas, boias inductoresque[19] acerrumos gnarosque nostri tergi.[20] (551) | (chanting ecstatically) All praise and thanks be to holy Perfidy as she deserves, since by our swindles, shams, and wiles we have defied hot irons and crosses and gyves, and thongs, chains, cells, shackles, fetters, collars, and painters—painters keen as can be and intimate with our backs! |
| (554) eae nunc legiones, copiae exercitusque eorum vi pugnando periuriis nostris fugae potiti. id virtute huius collegae[21] meaque comitate factumst. qui me vir fortior ad sufferundas plagas? | All these regiments, battalions, and armies of theirs have been put to flight, after fierce fighting, by our fabrications. 'Tis the valour of my colleague hath done it, with my own kind assistance. Who's a stouter-hearted hero than I am at taking thwacks? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Edepol virtutes qui tuas non possis conclaudare sic ut ego possim, quae domi duellique male fecisti. 560 ne illa edepol pro merito tuo memorari multa possunt: | (sneeringly) Good Lord! Your deeds of valour—you couldn't celebrate them the way I could your villainies at home and in the field. Gad! you certainly can be acredited with a lengthy list of things along that line. |
| ubi fidentem fraudaveris, ubi ero infidelis fueris, ubi verbis conceptis sciens libenter periuraris, ubi parietes perfoderis, in furto ubi sis prehensus, ubi saepe causam dixeris pendens adversus octo artutos, audacis viros, valentis virgatores. | Item, cheated a confiding friend; item, faithless to master; item, committed perjury consciously, cheerfully, in set form of words; item, dug your way into houses through the walls; item, caught at thieving; item, strung up repeatedly and plead your case before eight bold, brawny beef-eaters with a gift for club swinging. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Fateor profecto ut praedicas, Leonida, esse vera; verum edepol ne etiam tua quoque malefacta iterari multa et vero possunt; ubi sciens fideli infidus fueris, ubi prensus in furto sies manifesto et verberatus,[22] 569 (571) ubi eris damno, molestiae et dedecori saepe fueris, | I am quite ready to admit that is a just statement of the case, Leonida; but, Lord! the list of even your own villainies, too, can certainly be made lengthy enough, without injustice. Item, consciously treacherous to a trusting friend; item, caught stealing redhanded and whipped; item, repeatedly brought loss, trouble, and disgrace on your masters; |
| ubi creditum quod sit tibi datum esse pernegaris,[23] (572) (574) ubi saepe ad languorem tua duritia dederis octo validos lictores, ulmeis adfectos lentis virgis. num male relata est gratia, ut collegam collaudavi? | item, had money left in your keeping and swore and swore it wasn't; item, repeatedly exhausted by your toughness eight strong lictors equipped with pliant elm rods. (pause) Have I celebrated my colleague highly enough to pay him back—eh, what? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Ut meque teque maxime atque ingenio nostro decuit. | (thoughtfully) Yes, pretty much what you and I and our characters deserved. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Iam omitte ista atque hoc quod rogo responde. | Drop your nonsense now and answer me this question. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Rogita quod vis. | Ask your question. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Argenti viginti minas habesne? | (triumphantly) The eighty pounds, have you got it? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Hariolare. 580 edepol senem Demaenetum lepidum fuisse nobis: ut adsimulabat Sauream med esse quam facete! nimis aegre risum contini, ubi hospitem inclamavit, quod se absente mihi fidem habere noluisset. ut memoriter me Sauream vocabat atriensem. | You're a prophet! By gad, old Demaenetus did do the handsome thing by us. The way he pretended I was Saurea—clever, my word! I did have a deuce of a time holding in when he hauled our guest over the coils for not being willing to trust me in his absence. The way he remembered to keep calling me steward Saurea! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Mane dum. | (looking toward Cleareta's house) Wait, though! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Quid est? | What's up? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Philaenium estne haec quae intus exit atque Argyrippus una? | Isn't this Philaenium coming out here, yes, and Argyrippus along with her? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Opprime os, is est. subauscultemus. | (in low tone) Shut your mouth—so it is. Let's do some eaves-dropping (they retire) |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Lacrumantem lacinia tenet lacrumans. quidnam esse dicam? taciti auscultemus. | Both crying and she holding on to the lappet of his cloak! What on earth is the matter! Let's keep still and listen. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Attatae, modo hercle in mentem venit, nimis vellem habere perticam. | Oh-h! Jove! It has just occurred to me; how I do wish I had a pole! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Quoi rei? | What for? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Qui verberarem 590 asinos, si forte occeperint clamare hinc ex crumina | To whop those asses, if they happen to start braying in the wallet here. |
| [III. 3.] | Scene 3. |
| enter Argyrippus and Philaenium from the doorway of Cleareta's house where they have been standing. | |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Cur me retentas? | (sadly) Why hold me back? |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Quia tui amans abeuntis egeo. | (tearfully) Because it's dreadful having you leave me when I love you so. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Vale. | (trying half heartedly to release himself) Farewell! |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Aliquanto amplius valerem, si his maneres. | (still clinging to him) I should fare much better if you'd stay with me. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Salve. | And God bless you! |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Salvere me iubes, quoi tu abiens offers morbum? | You ask God to bless me when you curse me yourself by going? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Mater supremam mihi tua dixit, domum ire iussit. | Your mother said this was to be my last hour; she has ordered me home. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Acerbum funus filiae faciet, si te carendum est. | She'll make her daughter die in misery, if I must be deprived of you. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Homo hercle hinc exclusust foras. | (aside to Leonida) By gad! He's been shut out of the house here. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Ita res est. | So he has. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Mitte quaeso. | (dismally) Come, come, let go! (pulls away from her and turns to go) |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Quo nunc abis? quin tu hic manes? | Where are you off to now? Why don't you stay here? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Nox, si voles, manebo. | I will at night, if you want. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Audin hunc opera ut largus est nocturna? nunc enim esse negotiosum interdius videlicet Solonem, 600 leges ut conscribat, quibus se populus teneat. gerrae! qui sese parere apparent huius legibus, profecto numquam bonae frugi sient, dies noctesque potent. | Hear the chap—how free he is with his attentions by night? For now in the daytime he's a hard-working Solon, drawing up laws to bind the people—oh, yes he is! Rot! Folks that set themselves to obey his laws won't ever be good for anything, that's sure,—except drinking day and night. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Ne iste hercle ab ista non pedem discedat, si licessit, qui nunc festinat atque ab hac minatur sese abire. | Good Lord! The fellow wouldn't move a step from her, if he had his way, not he, for all this rush of his and threats to leave her |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Sermoni iam finem face tuo. huius sermonem accipiam. | Come, make an end of your talk. I want to take in some of his. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Vale. | (tragically) Farewell! (starts away) |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Quo properas? | Where are you hurrying to? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Bene vale, apud Orcum te videbo nam equidem me iam quantum potest a vita abiudicabo. | Farewell! Be happy. I shall see you in the world to come! For upon my soul, this world and I shall now be divorced as soon as possible! |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Cui tu, obsecro, immerito meo me morti dedere optas? | (running up and clinging to him) Oh, for heaven's sake, why, why do you wish to condemn me to death yourself, innocent as I am? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ego te? quam si intellegam deficere vita, iam ipse 610 vitam meam tibi largiar et de mea ad tuam addam. | I you? If I saw your life was ebbing, I'd freely give you my own at once and add my years to yours. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Cui ergo minitans mihi, te vitam esse amissurum? nam quid me facturam putas, si istuc quod dicis faxis? mihi certum est facere in me omnia eadem quae tu in te faxis. | Then why do you threaten me with throwing away your life? For what do you think I will do, if you do what you say? My mind's made up: I'll do to myself just precisely what you do to yourself. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Oh melle dulci dulcior tu es. | Oh, you're sweeter than sweet honey! |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Certe enim tu vita es mi. complectere. | And you're my very life, I know that. Do put your arms around me! |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Facio lubens. | (doing so) Yes, yes, gladly! |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Utinam sic efferamur. | Oh, if we could only be carried to the grave like this! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| O Libane, uti miser est homo qui amat. | I say, Libanus, what a poor devil a chap in love is! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Immo hercle vero, qui pendet multo est miserior. | By Jove, no! A chap hung up by his heels is a much poorer devil, believe me. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Scio qui periclum feci. circum sistamus, alter hinc, hinc alter appellemus. ere, salve. sed num fumus est haec mulier quam amplexare? | I know that: I've tried it. (a pause) Let's surround him, and give him a salute, one from here (pointing) and the other from here. (they station themselves: then, giving the signal to Libanus to chime in, loudly to Argyrippus) Good day, sir! (the lovers give a start) But—this lady you're hugging isn't smoke, is she? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quidum? | Smoke? Why so? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| 620 Quia oculi sunt tibi lacrumantes, eo rogavi. | Well, your eyes are watering; that's why I asked. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Patronus qui vobis fuit futurus, perdidistis. | (tragically) You have lost a man who would have freed you and been your patron, my lads. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Equidem hercle nullum perdidi, ideo quia numquam ullum habui. | Lord! I haven't lost any such, no, indeed, seeing I never had any such. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Philaenium, salve. | Good day to you, Philaenium. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Dabunt di quae velitis vobis. | God grant all your wishes, to both of you. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Noctem tuam et vini cadum velim, si optata fiant. | I'd wish an evening with you and a cask of wine, if wishing was having. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Verbum cave faxis, verbero. | Hold your tongue, you rascal! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Tibi equidem, non mihi opto. | Oh, wish 'em for you, I mean, sir, not for myself. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Tum tu igitur loquere quod lubet. | Then in that case, say what you like. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Hunc hercle verberare. | Like? I'd like to give this chap (pointing to Leonida) a thrashing, by gad! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Quisnam istuc adcredat tibi, cinaede calamistrate? tun verberes, qui pro cibo habeas te verberari? | (ironically) Well, well, who'd believe it of you, you frizzle-headed girl-hunter? You thrash me, you, you that live on thrashings? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ut vostrae fortunae meis praecedunt, Libane, longe, qui hodie numquam ad vesperum vivam. | (tragical again) Ah, Libanus, how far preferable your lot is to mine—I who will never never live till evening! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| 630 Quapropter, quaeso? | How's that, for mercy's sake? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quia ego hanc amo et haec me amat, huic quod dem nusquam quicquam est, hinc med amantem ex aedibus eiecit huius mater. argenti viginti minae me ad mortem appulerunt, quas hodie adulescens Diabolus ipsi daturus dixit, ut hanc ne quoquam mitteret nisi ad se hunc annum totum. videtin viginti minae quid pollent quidve possunt? ille qui illas perdit salvos est, ego qui non perdo pereo. | Because I love her (indicating Philaenium) and she loves me, and (bitterly) never a penny can I find anywhere to give her; and her mother has thrown me out of the house here, me, her daughter's lover. I'm driven to my death by eighty pounds, eighty pounds young Diabolus promised to pay her to-day for letting no one else but him have my girl the whole of this next year. Do you see the power, the possibilities in eighty pounds? The man that loses them is saved. I don't lose them and I'm lost myself. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Iam dedit argentum? | Has he paid 'em over already? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Non dedit. | No. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Bono animo es, ne formida. | Cheer up; never you fear. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Secede huc, Libane, te volo. | Libanus! Come over here: I want you. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Si quid vis. | (obeying) Anything to please. (they withdraw and talk, heads close together) |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Obsecro vos 640 eadem istac opera suaviust complexos fabulari. | (calling) For heaven's sake, you two! You'd find it pleasanter to hug each other, while you do your chatting! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Non omnia eadem aeque omnibus, ere, suavia esse scito: vobis est suave amantibus complexos fabulari, ego complexum huius nil moror, meum autem hic aspernatur. proinde istud facias ipse quod faciamus nobis suades. | Tastes differ about what's pleasant, sir, let me tell you that. A fond pair like you find it pleasant to hug each other while you do your chatting; but, personally, I don't care for this fellow's hugs, and as for mine, he scorns 'em. So you go on and practise yourself what you preach to us. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ego vero, et quidem edepol lubens. interea, si videtur, concedite istuc. | Indeed I will, by Jove, yes, and gladly. Meanwhile you two go on and step aside there, if you see fit. (embraces Philaenium) |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Vin erum deludi? | D'ye want to have some fun with master? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Dignust sane. | That I do, serves him right. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Vin faciam ut te Philaenium praesente hoc amplexetur? | D'ye want me to make Philaenium give you a squeeze right before his face? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Cupio hercle. | (enthusiastically) Gad, I long for one! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Sequere hac. | Come along. (leads the way back to Argyrippus and (Philaenium) |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ecquid est salutis? satis locuti. | Any good news? You have talked enough. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Auscultate atque operam date et mea dicta devorate. 650 primum omnium servos tuos nos esse non negamus, sed tibi si viginti minae argenti proferentur, quo nos vocabis nomine? | (importantly) Listen here, you two; pay attention and devour my remarks, (to Argyrippus) First of all, we are your slaves, we don't deny that; but if eighty pounds is produced for you, what will you call us? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Libertos. | (eagerly) Freedmen! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Non patronos? | Not patrons, eh? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Id potius. | Yes, yes, patrons! |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Viginti minae hic insunt in crumina, has ego, si vis, tibi dabo. | There's eighty pounds in this wallet here: I'll give it to you if you like. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Di te servassint semper, custos erilis, decus popli, thensaurus copiarum, salus interioris[24] corporis amorisque imperator. hic pone, hic istam colloca cruminam in collo plane. | Heaven prosper you for evermore, you guardian of your master, you glory of the populace, you storehouse of supplies, saviour of the inner man, and generalissimo of love! Put it here, hang that wallet here around my neck in plain sight. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Nolo ego te, qui erus sis, mihi onus istuc sustinere. | Let my master bear such a load? No sir, not I. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quin tu labore liberas te atque istam imponis in me? | Why not take things easy yourself and let me stand the strain? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| 660 Ego baiulabo, tu, ut dacet dominum, ante me ito inanis. | I'll act as porter myself; as for you, you walk on ahead as a master should, empty handed. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quid nunc? | (eagerly) Well now? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Quid est? | (drawling) Well what? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quin tradis huc cruminam pressatum umerum? | Why don't you hand the wallet over and let it crush my shoulder? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Hanc, cui daturu's hanc, iube petere atque orare mecum. nam istuc proclive est, quo iubes me plane collocare. | She's the one, (pointing to Philaenium) the one you'll give it to, tell her to ask me for it, tease me for it. You see that plain site you told me to put it on is a (with a sly glance at Philaenium) slope. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Da, meus ocellus, mea rosa, mi anime, mea voluptas, Leonida, argentum mihi, ne nos diiunge amantis. | Oh, Leonida, you apple of my eye, my rosebud, my heart's delight, my darling, do give me the money! Don't separate us lovers. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Dic me igitur tuom passerculum, gallinam, coturnicem, agnellum haedillum me tuom die esse vel vitellum. prehende auriculis, compara labella cum labellis. | (with burlesque fondness) Well then, call me your little sparrow, hen, quail, call me your little lambkin, kidlet, or calfyboy, if you prefer: take hold of me by the earlaps and match my little lips to your little lips. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ten osculetur, verbero? | She kiss you, you scoundrel? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Quam vero indignum visum est? 670 at qui pol hodie non feres, ni genua confricantur. | Yes, it does seem a shame, doesn't it? However, you don't get the cash this day, by gad, unless you rub my knees. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quidvis egestas imperat: fricentur. dan quod oro? | "Need knows no shame." Rubbed they shall be. (gets down on ground, with poor grace, and clasps Leonida's knees) Won't you grant my prayer? (gets up) |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Age, mi Leonida, obsecro, fer amanti ero salutem, redime istoc beneficio te ab hoc, et tibi eme hunc isto argento. | Come, dear Leonida, please, please save your master that loves me so! Buy your freedom from him by this kindness, buy his favour for yourself with this money! (embraces him) |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Nimis bella es atque amabilis, et si hoc meum esset, hodie namquam me orares quin darem. illum te orare meliust, illic hanc mihi servandam dedit ei sane bella belle, cape hoc sis, Libane. | (leering at her) Ah, you're pretty, perfectly adorable: and if this belonged to me, I'd never let you tease me twice for it, never. But he's the one for you to tease: (pointing to Libanus) he gave it to me to keep for him. At him now, my pretty, prettily. Libanus, catch hold of this, will you! (tosses him the wallet) |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Furcifer, etiam me delusisti? | What, you villain! Have you been making a fool of me? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Numquam hercle facerem, genua ni tam nequiter fricares. age sis tu in partem nunciam hunc delude atque amplexare hanc. | Bless you, sir, I wouldn't, only you made such a bad job of rubbing my knees. (aside to Libanus) Come on now, will you; you take your turn at fooling him and cuddling her. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Taceas, me spectes. | (aside to Leonida) Shut up: you watch me! |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| 680 Quin ad hunc, Philaenium, adgredimur, virum quidem pol optimum et non simulem furis huius? | (aside to Philaenium) Why not make up to him, Philaenium? He's a very decent sort, Libanus is, gad yes, nothing like this thief. (indicating Leonida) |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Inambulandum est: nunc mihi vicissam supplicabunt. | (aside as they approach) Now for some strutting around: here's where I come in for being supplicated. (parades magnificently back and forth) |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quaeso hercle, Libane, sis erum tuis factis sospitari, da mihi istas viginti minas. vides me amantem egere. | Hang it all, Libanus, for mercy's sake be a good fellow and save your master's life! Give me that eighty pounds. You see I'm in love and need the money. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Videbitur. factum volo. redito huc contemno nunc istanc tantisper iube petere atque orare mecum. | We'll see about it. Happy if I can oblige. Come back early in the evening. Meanwhile now just tell the lady there to ask me for it and tease me for it. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Amandone exorarier vis ted an osculando? | Tease it from you by loving you, or by kissing you, which? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Enim vero utrumque. | Oh well, try both of 'em. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Ergo, obsecro, et tu utrumque nostrum serva. | (fondling him) And both of us, then,—do rescue us, please, please! |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| O Libane, mi patrone, mi trade istuc. magis decorumst 690 libertum potius quam patronum onus in via portare. | O Libanus, my dear patron, do hand it over to me! A freedman is the proper person to carry a load on the street, not his patron. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Mi Libane, ocellus aureus, donum decusque amoris, amabo, faciam quod voles, da istuc argentum nobis. | My own Libanus, my little golden treasure boy, love's gift and glory, oh, I'll adore you, do anything for you, only give us that money! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Dic igitur med aniticulam, columbam vel catellum, hirundinem, monerulam, passerculum putillum, fac proserpentem bestiam me, duplicem ut habeam linguam, circumda torquem bracchiis, meum collum circumplecte. | Then call me your little ducky, dovey, doggieboy, your swallow, your little jackdaw, your little tootsie wootsie sparrowkin: (opening his mouth) make a reptile of me and let me have a double tongue in my mouth; throw a chain of arms around me; clasp me close around my neck. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ten complectatur, carnufex? | Put her arms around you, you gallows-bird! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Quam vero indignus videor? ne istuc nequiquam dixeris tam indignum dictum in me, vehes pol hodie me, si quidem hoc argentum ferre speres. | An awful shame, isn't it, really now? Not to have you saying such shameful things of me free of charge, you'll carry me on your back to-day, by gad, that is, if you count on getting this cash. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ten ego veham? | I carry you on my back—I? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| 700 Tun hoc feras argentum aliter a me? | See any other way of getting this cash, do you—you? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Perii hercle. si verum quidem et decorum erum vehere servom, inscende. | O damnation! Well, if it is right and proper for a master to carry a servant on his back—get up. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Sic isti solent superbi subdomari. asta igitur, ut consuetus es puer olim scin ut dicam? em sic. abi, laudo, nec te equo magis est equos ullus sapiens. | Here's how those toplofty ones are tamified. Now then, stand by—the way you used to do years ago as a boy. Know how I mean? (Argyrippus sidles up and bends over) There! That's it! Good for you! Capital! There isn't a more knowing bit of horse-flesh than you anywhere. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Inscende actutum. | Get up, and be quick about it! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Ego fecero hem quid istuc est? ut tu incedis? demam hercle iam de hordeo, tolutim ni badizas. | (springing on his shoulders) So I will. (Argyrippus moves off slowly) Hullo! What's the matter? How you do jog along! By gad, I'll dock your barley directly, if you don't stir yourself and gallop. (Argyrippus gallops) |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Amabo, Libane, iam sat est. | There's a good fellow, Libanus,—that's enough now! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Numquam hercle hodie exorabis nam iam calcari quadrupedo agitabo advorsum clivom, postidea ad pistores dabo, ut ibi cruciere currens. 710 asta ut descendam nunciam in proclivi, quamquam nequam es. | Not on your life—you don't beg off this day. Why, now I'm going to dig the spurs in and trot you up a hill: afterwards I'll hand you over to the millers to do some running for 'em at the end of a rawhide. Stand still! so that I can dismount on the slope now, even though you are a good-for-nothing beast. (gets off) |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quid nunc, amabo? quoniam, ut est libitum, nos delusistis, datisne argentum? | How about it now? There's a good fellow! Seeing you two have had your fill of sport with me, going to give us the money, are you? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Si quidem mihi statuam et aram statuis atque ut deo mi hic immolas bovem: nam ego tibi Salus sum. | Oh well, if you put me up an altar and statue, yes, and offer me up an ox here the same as a god: for I'm your goddess Salvation, I am. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Etiam tu, ere, istunc amoves abs te atque[25] ipse me adgredere atque illa, sibi quae hic iusserat, mihi statuis supplicasque? | Come, sir, get rid of that chap, won't you, and apply to me in person, yes, and let me have those statues and supplications he ordered for himself. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quem te autem divom nominem? | Ah, and by what name does your godship pass? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Fortunam, atque Obsequentem. | Fortune, yes sir, Indulgent Fortune. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Iam istoc es melior. | Now there's where you are better. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| An quid est homini Salute melius? | Eh? what's better for a man than Salvation? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Licet laudem Fortunam, tamen ut ne Salutem culpem. | I can praise Fortune and still not disparage Salvation. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Ecastor ambae sunt bonae. | Mercy me, they're both good. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Sciam ubi boni quid dederint. | I'll know so when I get something good out of them. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Opta id quod ut contingat tibi vis. | Wish for something you want to happen to you. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quid si optaro? | What if I do? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| 720 Eveniet. | It'll come true. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Opto annum hunc perpetuom mihi huius operas. | My wish is to have this lady's attentions this whole next year through. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Impetrasti. | You've got it. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ain vero? | Really? really? |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Certe inquam. | Sure thing I tell you. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Ad me adi vicissim atque experire. exopta id quod vis maxime tibi evenire: fiet. | It's my turn—come over here and give me a trial. Long for something you most want to come true: it will. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quid ego aliud exoptem amplius nisi illud cuius inopiast, viginti argenti commodas minas, huius quas dem matri. | What could I long for more than something I haven't got a trace of—a round eighty pounds to give this girl's mother? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Dabuntur, animo sis bono face, exoptata optingent. | Forthcoming. Keep your courage up: your longing will be gratified. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ut consuevere, homines Salus frustratur et Fortuna. | (incredulous) Salvation is at her old tricks, fooling people, and Fortune too. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Ego caput huic argento fui hodie reperiundo. | In lighting on this cash to-day—I'm the one that's been the head of it! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Ego pes fui. | I'm the one that's been the foot of it! |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quin nec caput nec pes sermoni apparet. 730 nec quid dicatis scire nec me cur ludatis possum. | And upon my soul, your discourse is a puzzle from head to foot. I can't understand your talk, or why you're making game of me. |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Satis iam delusum censeo. nunc rem ut est eloquamur. animum. Argyrippe, advorte sis. pater nos ferre hoc iussit argentum ad ted. | (aside to Leonida) I move he's been fooled with long enough. Come on, let's out with it. (to Argyrippus) Your kind attention, Argyrippus! Your father told us to bring this money to you. (holding up wallet) |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ut temperi opportuneque attulistis. | Oh, you've brought it just in time, just at the right moment! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Hic inerunt viginti minae bonae, mala opera partae; has tibi nos pactis legibus dare iussit. | You'll find in here eighty good sovereigns ill-gotten: he said to give 'em to you according to terms agreed upon. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quid id est, quaeso? | Terms? What terms, for mercy's sake? |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Noctem huius et cenam sibi ut dares. | That you're to give him an evening with this lady, and a dinner. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Iube advenire quaeso: meritissimo eius quae volet faciemus, qui hosce amores nostros dispulsos compulit. | Tell him to come along, yes, yes! We'll do what he wants, and quite right we should, after the way he's gathered our scattered love to the fold. (takes wallet from Libanus) |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Patierin, Argyrippe, patrem hanc amplexari tuom? | Going to put up with your father's hugging her, are you, Argyrippus? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Haec faciet facile ut patiar 740 Leonida, curre obsecro, patrem huc orato ut veniat. | (waving wallet) This will easily enable me to put up with it. Leonida, for heaven's sake run and beg my father to come here. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Iam dudum est intus. | (pointing to Cleareta's house) He was in there long ago. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Hac quidem non venit. | He certainly didn't come this way. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Angiporto illac per hortum circum ut clam, ne quis se videret. huc ire familiarium: ne uxor resciscat metuit de argento si mater tua sciat ut sit factum— | Sneaked in by the alley there through the garden, so that none of the servants would see him enter: he's afraid of his wife finding out. If your mother was to learn about the money, how it was— |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Heia, bene dicite. | Hold on there! No ominous remarks! |
| Lib. | Lib. |
| Ite intro cito. | In with you, quick! |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Valete. | Good-bye, you two. |
| Leon. | Leon. |
| Et vos amate. |
And spoon away, you two. [exeunt Argyrippus and Philaenium into Cleareta's house,Libanus and Leonida into house of Demaenetus. |
| [ACTVS IV] | ACT IV |
| enter Diabolus and Parasite. | |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Agedum istum ostende quem conscripsti syngraphum inter me et amicam et lenam. leges pellege nam tu poeta es prorsus ad eam rem unicus. | Come on, show me that contract you drew up between me and my mistress and the Madame. Read over the terms. Ah, you're the one and only artist at this business. |
| Par. | Par. |
| Horrescet faxo lena, leges cum audiet. | (producing a document) I warrant you Madame will shudder when she hears the terms. |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Age quaeso mi hercle translege. | Come come, man, for the Lord's sake let's have 'em! |
| Par. | Par. |
| Audin? | Are you listening? |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| 750 Audio. | Yes. |
| Par. | Par. |
| "Diabolus Glauci filius Clearetae lenae dedit dono argenti viginti minas, Philaenium ut secum esset noctes et dies hunc annum totum." | (reading) "Diabolus, son of Glaucus, has given to Cleareta, Madame, a present of eighty pounds to the end that Philaenium throughout the coming year may spend her nights and days with him." |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Neque cum quiquam alio quidem. | Yes, and not with anyone else, either. |
| Par. | Par. |
| Addone? | Shall I add that? |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Adde, et scribas vide plane et probe. | Add that, and see you put it down in a good firm hand. |
| Par. | Par. |
| "Alienum hominem intro mittat neminem. quod illa aut amicum aut patronum nominet, aut quod illa amicae[26] amatorem praedicet, fores occlusae omnibus sint nisi tibi. 760 in foribus scribat occupatam esse se. | (after doing so) "She is to admit no male outsider into her house. In case she call him a mere friend or guardian, or in case she allege him to be the lover of a friend of hers, her doors must be closed to all but you. She must post a notice on the doors stating that she is engaged. |
| aut quod illa dicat peregre allatam epistulam, ne epistula quidem ulla sit in aedibus nec cerata adeo tabula; et si qua inutilis pictura sit, eam vendat: ni in quadriduo abalienarit, quo abs te argentum acceperit, tuos arbitratus sit, comburas, si velis, ne illi sit cera, ubi facere possit litteras. | Or in case she say that a letter from foreign parts has been delivered to her, there must be no letter at all in the house, nor so much as a waxen tablet; and if there be any undesirable picture about, let her sell it: unless she shall have removed it within four days after receipt of your money, it shall be at your disposal: you may burn it up, if you deem fit, that she may have no wax whereon to write. |
| vocet convivam neminem illa, tu voces; ad eorum ne quem oculos adiciat suos. 770 si quem alium aspexit, caeca continue siet. tecum una potet, aeque pocla potitet: abs ted accipiat, tibi propinet, tu bibas, ne illa minus aut plus quam tu sapiat." | She must invite no guest to the house: you shall invite them; and she must have eyes for none of them. If her glance has fallen on another man, she must become blind forthwith. She must drink with you only, and drink with you glass for glass: let her receive the glass from your hands, drink to your health, and then do you take it and drink, so that she may have no—(unobtrusively dropping the aspirate) whit more than you, nor less." |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Satis placet. | (not noticing) Quite satisfactory. |
| Par. | Par. |
| "Suspiciones omnes ab se segreget. neque illaec ulli pede pedem homini premat, cum surgat, neque cum in lectum inscendat proximum, neque cum descendat inde, det cuiquam manum: spectandum ne cui anulum det neque roget. talos ne cuiquam homini admoveat nisi tibi. 780 cum iaciat, 'te' ne dicat: nomen nominet. | "She must keep herself above every suspicion. She must not touch feet with any man when she arises from table: and when she steps upon the adjoining couch, or steps down therefrom, she must take no one's hand. She must give no one her ring to look at, nor ask to look at his. To no man save yourself must she pass the dice. On making a throw she must not say, 'Thee[E] I invoke!' She is to name your name. |
| deam invocet sibi quam libebit propitiam, deum nullum; si magis religiosa fuerit, tibi dicat: tu pro illa ores ut sit propitius. neque illa ulli homini nutet, nictet, annuat. post, si lucerna exstincta sit, ne quid sui membri commoveat quicquam in tenebris." | Let her call upon any goddess she pleases for favour, but upon no god; if she have religious scruples in regard to this, let her tell you, and do you make the prayer for his favour in her stead. To no man shall she nod, wink, or signify compliance. Further, if the lamp go out, she is not to move a single limb in the darkness." |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Optumest. ita scilicet facturam. verum in cubiculo— deme istuc—equidem illam moveri gestio. nolo illam habere causam et votitam dicere. | Excellent! To be sure she mustn't, (pause) But in our own room—cut that clause out—why, I'm keen as can be for her to be lively there! I don't want her to have an excuse and say the contract forbids. |
| Par. | Par. |
| Scio, captiones metuis. | I see, you fear some catch. |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Verum. | Exactly. |
| Par. | Par. |
| 790 Ergo ut iubes tollam. | Well then, I shall strike that out, as you order. |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Quid ni? | Of course you will. |
| Par. | Par. |
| Audi relicua. | Listen to the rest. |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Loquere, audio. | Go on: I am listening. |
| Par. | Par. |
| "Neque ullum verbum faciat perplexabile, neque ulla lingua sciat loqui nisi Attica, forte si tussire occepsit, ne sic tussiat, ut cuiquam linguam in tussiendo proserat. quod illa autem simulet, quasi gravedo profluat, hoc ne sic faciat: tu labellum abstergeas potius quam cuiquam savium faciat palam. | "She must use no phrase of double meaning, and must know how to speak no language but the Attic. If she should happen to cough, she is not to cough so, (illustrating) in such a way as to extend her tongue toward anyone. Moreover, in case she pretends to have a running cold, she must not do this: (purses his lips) you are to wipe her little lip yourself rather than let her pucker up her mouth for anyone so obviously. |
| nec mater lena ad vinum accedat interim, 800 nec ulli verbo male dicat. si dixerit, haec multa ei esto, vino viginti dies ut careat." | Nor shall the Madame, her mother, drop in while you are having your wine, or say a single abusive word to anyone. If such a word be said by her, the penalty shall be this—no wine for her for twenty days." |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Pulchre scripsti. scitum syngraphum. | Splendid document! Capital contract! |
| Par. | Par. |
| "Tum si coronas, serta, unguenta iusserit ancillam ferre Veneri aut Cupidini, tuos servos servet, Venerine eas det an viro. 800 si forte pure velle habere dixerit, tot noctes reddat spurcas quot pure habuerit." haec sunt non nugae, non enim mortualia. | "Then if she bid her maid carry chaplets, wreaths, perfumes to Venus or to Cupid, your servant shall observe whether she gives them to Venus, or to a man. Should she happen to express a wish for religious seclusion, she must give you as many hours of love as she has of loneliness." These be no trifles; these be no dirges for dead folk, I tell you. The terms are highly satisfactory. Follow me in. |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| Placent profecto leges, sequere intro. | Very well. |
| Par. | Par. |
| Sequor. | [exeunt into Cleareta's house: sound of wrangling within: re-enter Diabolus and Parasite from house. |
| [IV. 2.] | Scene 2. |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| 810 Sequere hac, egone haec patiar aut taceam? emori me malim, quam haec non eius uxori indicem. ain tu? apud amicam munus adulescentuli fungare, uxori excuses te et dicas senem? praeripias scortum amanti atque argentum obicias lenae? suppiles clam domi uxorem tuam? | (incensed) Come along! I put up with this? I hold my tongue? I'd rather perish from the earth than not let it out to his wife! (shouting to Demaenetus within) You will, will you? You will play the gay young spark with a mistress and excuse yourself to your wife on the plea of old age, eh? You will snatch a girl from her lover and toss your money to the Madame, eh? You will filch things from your lady at home on the sly, eh? |
| suspendam potius me, quam tu haec tacita auferas. iam quidem hercle ad illam hinc ibo, quam tu propediem, nisi quidem illa ante occupassit te, effliges scio, luxuriae sumptus suppeditare ut possies. | I'd sooner hang myself than let you carry it off so and nothing said. By the Lord, I'll go to her this very minute, I will, the woman you're bound to bring to pauperism shortly,—if she doesn't forestall you, that is,—just so that you may be kept in funds for your orgies! |
| Par. | Par. |
| 820 Ego sic faciundum censeo: me honestiust, quam te palam hanc rem facere, ne illa existimet amoris causa percitum id fecisse te magis quam sua causa. | (calmly, judiciously) In my opinion, this is the way we should handle the case: it would look better for me to appear in the matter than you; she might think you were hard hit and did it more out of jealousy than out of regard for her. |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| At pol qui dixti rectius. tu ergo fac ut illi turbas lites concias; cum suo sibi gnato unam ad amicam de die potare, illam expilare narra. | Right you are, gad yes, that is better! Then raise hell for him yourself; stir up a row; notify her that he's having a daylight carouse with his own son, one girl between 'em there at her house, and she herself being rooked for it! |
| Par. | Par. |
| Ne mone, ego istud curabo. | No advice needed! I shall take care of that. |
| Diab. | Diab. |
| (827) At ego te opperiar domi.[27] |
Well, I'll wait for you at
home.[27] [exit. |
| [ACTVS V] | ACT V |
| the door of Cleareta's house is open, showing Argyrippus, Demaenetus, and Philaenium banqueting, Philaenium being on a couch beside Demaenetus and trying not to seem bored by his gallantries. | |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| 830 Numquidnam tibi molestumst, gnate mi, si haec nunc mecum accubat? | You don't mind it, do you, my boy,—her being on the couch here with me? (merrily chucks Philaenium under the chin) |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Pietas, pater, oculis dolorem prohibet. quamquam ego istanc amo, possum equidem inducere animum, ne aegre patiar quia tecum accubat. | (dolefully) My duty as a son takes the sting out of the sight, father. Even though I do love her, of course I can persuade myself not to be disturbed at her being with you. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Decet verecundum esse adulescentem, Argyrippe. | A young fellow should be modest, Argyrippus. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Edepol, pater, merito tuo facere possum. | Ah yes, father, I can behave as you deserve. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Age ergo, hoc agitemus convivium vino et[28] sermoni suavi. nolo ego metui, amari mavolo, mi gnate, me abs te. | (jovially) Come on then, let's have a lively banquet—wine and sweet converse, my dears! None of your filial awe for me: your love is what I want, my lad. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Pol ego utrumque facio, ut aequom est filium. | (still more dolefully) Ah yes, father, I give you both, as a son should. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Credam istuc, si esse te hilarum videro. | I'll believe that, once I see you looking jolly. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| An tu me tristem putas? | (with a deep sigh) You don't think I'm ... melancholy ... do you? |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Putem ego, quem videam aeque esse maestum ut quasi dies si dicta sit? | Think so? When you look as sepulchral as if you were docketed for trial! |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ne dixis istuc. | Don't say that. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| 839, 840 Ne sic fueris: ilico ego non dixero. | Don't be that, and I'll stop saying it soon enough. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Em aspecta: rideo. | (making a dismal effort to look happy) Here now! See! I'm smiling. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Utinam male qui mihi volunt sic rideant. | (dryly) I wish my enemies were blessed with a smile like that. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Scio equidem quam ob rem me, pater, tu tristem credas nunc tibi: quia istaec est tecum. atque ego quidem hercle ut verum tibi dicam. pater, ea res me male habet; at non eo, quia tibi non cupiam quae velis; verum istam amo. aliam tecum esse equidem facile possum perpeti. | Of course I know why you think my bearing toward you now is melancholy, father,—because she's with you. And good heavens, father, to tell you the truth, I—it does make me miserable; not because I'm not eager to have your wishes gratified; but I love that girl. If it was some other one, I shouldn't mind at all, really I shouldn't. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| At ego hanc volo. | I want this one, though. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ergo sunt quae exoptas: mihi quae ego exoptem volo. | Well then, you've got your desire: I wish I could have the same luck! |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Unum hunc diem perpetere, quoniam tibi potestatem dedi, cum hac annum ut esses, atque amanti argenti feci copiam. | Oh, you'll take it calmly this one day, now that I've given you the chance to be with her for a year, and furnished forth my young gallant with funds. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Em istoc me facto tibi devinxti. | Just the point! You have me bound hard and fast by that. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| 849, 850 Quin te ergo hilarum das mihi? | Come then, surrender and be jolly, won't you? |
| [V. 2.] | Scene 2. |
| enter Artemona and Parasite from house of Demaenetus. | |
| Art. | Art. |
| Ain tu meum virum his potare, obsecro, cum filio et ad amicam detulisse argenti viginti minas meoque filio sciente id facere flagitium patrem? | (tempestuously) What's that, for heaven's sake,—my husband carousing here with his son, and brought eighty pounds to a mistress, and my son conniving at such an outrage on the part of his father, his father? |
| Par. | Par. |
| Neque divini neque mi humani posthac quicquam accreduas, Artemona, si huius rei me esse mendacem inveneris. | Never trust me in another thing divine or human, madam, if you find I have misinformed you in this. |
| Art. | Art. |
| At scelesta ego praeter alios meum virum[29] frugi rata, siccum, frugi, continentem, amantem uxoris maxume. | But oh dear me! I thought my husband was the very paragon of men, a sober man, a worthy, moral man that loved his wife devotedly. |
| Par. | Par. |
| At nunc dehinc scito illum ante omnes minimi mortalem preti, madidum, nihili, incontinentem atque osorem uxoris suae. | But from now on you must realize that he is the very scum of the earth, a toping man, a worthless, immoral man that hates the wife of his bosom. |
| Art. | Art. |
| 860 Pol ni istaec vera essent, numquam faceret ea quae nunc facit. | Mercy yes! unless all that was true, he would never be acting as he does now. |
| Par. | Par. |
| Ego quoque hercle illum antehac hominem semper sum frugi ratus, verum hoc facto sese ostendit, qui quidem cum filio potet una atque una amicam ductet, decrepitus senex. | I always thought he was a worthy man myself before to-day, upon my soul I did: but now he shows himself in his true colours—carousing with his own son and sharing his mistress with him, the old ruin! |
| Art. | Art. |
| Hoc ecastor est quod ille it ad cenam cottidie. ait sese ire ad Archidemum, Chaeream, Chaerestratum, Cliniam, Chremem, Cratinum, Diniam, Demosthenem: is apud scortum corruptelae est liberis, lustris studet. | Good gracious! This explains his going out to dinner every day! He with his tales of going to dine with Archidemus, Chaerea, Chaerestratus, Clinia, Chremes, Cratinus, Dinias, Demosthenes—and all the time corrupting his children at a harlot's, haunting houses of ill fame! |
| Par. | Par. |
| Quin tu illum iubes ancillas rapere sublimen domum? | Why not tell your maids to pick him up and take him off home? |
| Art. | Art. |
| Tace modo. ne ego illum ecastor miserum habebo. | You just keep still. Oh, but I'll make life miserable for him, I swear I will! |
| Par. | Par. |
| Ego istuc scio, ita fore illi dum quidem cum illo nupta eris. | I have no doubt about that, just as long as he is your husband. |
| Art. | Art. |
| 870 Ego censeo. eum[30] etiam hominem in senatu dare operam aut clientibus, ibi labore delassatum noctem totam stertere: ille opere foris faciendo lassus noctu ad me advenit; fundum alienum arat, incultum familiarem deserit. is etiam corruptus porro suom corrumpit filium. | (too irate to notice unflattering accent) Yes, indeed! He busy in the Senate or helping his clients! He wearied out by his labours there, there, that he spends the whole night snoring! It is business away from home that makes him turn up at night all weary—the business of ploughing other people's fields and leaving his own uncultivated. Corrupt himself, he actually goes on and corrupts his own son. |
| Par. | Par. |
| Sequere hac me modo, iam faxo ipsum hominem manifesto opprimas. | Just follow me this way: I'll soon make you drop on our gentleman in the very act. |
| Art. | Art. |
| Nihil ecastor est quod facere mavelim. | Ah-h-h! There's nothing I'd like better! |
| Par. | Par. |
| Mane dum. | Hm! wait! (goes quietly to Cleareta's door, peeps in and comes back) |
| Art. | Art. |
| Quid est? | What's the matter? |
| Par. | Par. |
| Possis, si forte accubantem tuom virum conspexeris cum corona amplexum amicam, si videas, cognoscere? | If you happened to spy your husband stretched out on a banquet couch with a garland on and a girl in his arms—if you saw him, could you recognize him? |
| Art. | Art. |
| Possum ecastor. | Indeed I can! |
| Par. | Par. |
| Em tibi hominem. | (taking her cautiously to the door) Behold your man! |
| Art. | Art. |
| Perii. | (peeping) Dreadful, dreadful! |
| Par. | Par. |
| 880 Paulisper mane. aucupemus ex insidiis clanculum quam rem gerant. | (drawing her aside) Wait a bit! Let's lie in ambush and spy what's going on without being seen. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quid modi, pater, amplexando facies? | (resentfully) Father! When is that hug going to end? |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Fateor, gnate mi— | (somewhat embarrassed) I admit, my dear boy,— |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quid fatere? | Admit what? |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Me ex amore huius corruptum oppido. | That this lady is altogether too much for my sense of decorum. |
| Par. | Par. |
| Audin quid ait? | (to Artemona) Do you hear what he says? |
| Art. | Art. |
| Audio. | I hear! |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Egon ut non domo uxori meae subripiam in deliciis pallam quam habet, atque ad te deferam? non edepol conduci possum vita uxoris annua. | (to Philaenium) Not steal my wife's pet mantle from home and bring it to you? By heaven, I couldn't be hired not to—not if she should die within the year. |
| Par. | Par. |
| Censen tu illum hodie primum ire adsuetum esse in ganeum? | (to Artemona) Do you think to-day is the first time that gentleman has used such resorts? |
| Art. | Art. |
| Ille ecastor suppilabat me, quod ancillas meas suspicabar atque insontis miseras cruciabam. | Mercy on us! So he was the thief all those times I suspected my maids, yes, and tortured the poor innocent things. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Pater, 890 iube dari vinum; iam dudum factum est cum primum bibi. | Tell them to set the wine going, father; it seems an age since I had my first drink. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Da, puere, ab summo. age, tu interibi ab infimo da savium. | (to servant) Boy, send round the wine from the head of the table. (to Philaenium) Come, my dear, meanwhile you send round a naughty, naughty kiss from the foot. (Philaenium obeys) |
| Art. | Art. |
| Perii misera, ut osculatur carnufex, capuli decus. | Oh-h-h! Good heavens! The way he kisses, the villain, fit only to grace a coffin! |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Edepol animam suaviorem aliquanto quam uxoris meae. | My word! Rather sweeter breath than my wife's! |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Dic amabo, an fetet anima uxoris tuae? | Do tell me, there's a dear—your wife's breath isn't bad, is it? |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Nauteam bibere malim, si necessum sit, quam illam oscularier. | I'd rather drink bilge water, if it came to that, than kiss her. |
| Art. | Art. |
| Ain tandem? edepol ne tu istuc cum malo magno tuo dixisti in me. sine, revenias modo domum, faxo ut scias quid pericli sit dotatae uxori vitium dicere. | (aside) So? You would, would you? Good gracious, sir, that fling at me will cost you dear. Very well! just you come back home, sir! I'll show you the danger of vilifying a wife with money. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Miser ecastor es. | Goodness me, you poor thing! |
| Art. | Art. |
| Ecastor dignus est. | (aside) Goodness me, he deserves to be! |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quid ais, pater? ecquid matrem amas? | Look here, father. Do you love my mother? |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| 900 Egone illam? nunc amo, quia non adest. | Love her? I? I love her now for not being near. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Quid cum adest? | And when she is near? |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Periisse cupio. | I yearn for a death in the family. |
| Par. | Par. |
| Amat homo hic te, ut praedicat. | (to Artemona) This gentleman is fond of you, it seems. |
| Art. | Art. |
| Ne illa ecastor faenerato funditat: nam si domum redierit hodie. osculando ego ulciscar potissimum. | (aside) Oh-h-h! won't he pay interest on that flow of words! Just let him come back home to-day, and that will be my favourite method of revenge—kissing him. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Iace, pater, talos, ut porro nos iaciamus. | (pushing some dice toward Demaenetus) Your throw, father: come, so that I can take my turn. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Maxime. te, Philaenium, mihi atque uxoris mortem, hoc Venerium est. pueri, plaudite et mi ob iactum cantharo mulsum date. | By all means. (as he throws) Here's to you for me, Philaenium, and my wife for the tomb! (looking at throw) Ha! The Venus![F] (to servants) A cheer, lads, and some mead from the tankard for that throw! |
| Art. | Art. |
| Non queo durare. | (aside to Parasite) This is intolerable! |
| Par. | Par. |
| Si non didicisti fulloniam, non mirandum est.[31] in oculos invadi optumum est. | (aside to Artemona) No wonder, if you never learned the fuller's[G] trade. Your best plan is to make a dash for his eyes. |
| Art. | Art. |
| Ego pol vivam et tu istaec hodie cum tuo magno malo invocavisti. | (bursting into house) My heavens, sir, I will live, and you shall pay dear for that petition of yours just now! (tableau) |
| Par. | Par. |
| 910 Ecquis currit pollictorem accersere? | (gleefully) Run, some one, and fetch the undertaker! |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Mater, salve. | (innocently) How do you do, mother? |
| Art. | Art. |
| Sat salutis. | Enough of your how d'ye do-ing! |
| Par. | Par. |
| Mortuost Demaenetus. tempus est subducere hinc me; pulchre hoc gliscit proelium. ibo ad Diabolum, mandata dicam facta ut voluerit, atque interea ut decumbamus suadebo, hi dum litigant. | (aside) Demaenetus is dead. Time for me to retire from the scene; the battle waxes finely. I'll off to Diabolus and tell him his mandates are executed to the letter, yes, and suggest our taking dinner meantime, while they fight it out. |
| poste demum huc cras adducam ad lenam, ut viginti minas ei det, in partem hac amanti ut liceat ei potirier. Argyrippus exorari spero poterit, ut sinat sese alternas cum illo noctes hac frui. nam ni impetro, regem perdidi: ex amore tantum est homini incendium. |
Then to-morrow when it's over I'll bring
him back to the Madame so that he may give her the eighty
pounds and get her permission for his fond self to go shares
in the girl here. I do hope Argyrippus can be induced to let
him have her half the time. For if I don't get so much out
of him, I have lost a patron—all one blaze of love, as the
fellow is. [exit Parasite. |
| Art. | Art. |
| Quid tibi hunc receptio ad te est meum virum? | (to Philaenium) What do you mean by receiving this man at your house—my husband? |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| 920 Pol me quidem miseram odio enicavit. | Dear, dear! Why, I'm fairly bored to death by him, for my part. |
| Art. | Art. |
| Surge, amator, i domum. | (standing over Demaenetus) Get up, my gallant; home with you! |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Nullus sum. | (half aside, afraid to move) I'm a dead man! |
| Art. | Art. |
| Immo es, ne nega, omnium unus pol nequissimus. at etiam cubat cuculus. surge amator, i domum. | Good gracious, no! You're the vilest man living, and you needn't deny it. But he's roosting there still, the cuckoo! Get up, my gallant; home with you! |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Vae mihi. | (half aside) Oh, I'm in for it! |
| Art. | Art. |
| Vera hariolare. surge, amator, i domum. | You are a true prophet. Get up, my gallant; home with you! |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Abscede ergo paululum istuc. | Well then, do stand a bit farther off. |
| Art. | Art. |
| Surge, amator, i domum. | Get up, my gallant; home with you! |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Iam obsecro, uxor. | For heaven's sake now, my dear! |
| Art. | Art. |
| Nunc uxorem me esse meministi tuam? modo, cum dicta in me ingerebas, odium, non uxor eram. | Now you recollect that I am your dear, do you? A moment ago, when you were saying things about me, I was your abomination, not your dear. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Totus perii. | (half aside) It's all up with me, absolutely! |
| Art. | Art. |
| Quid tandem? anima fetetne uxoris tuae? | You really meant it, did you? Your dear's breath smells, does it? |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Murram olet. | (hastily) Smells of myrrh, myrrh! |
| Art. | Art. |
| Iam subrupuisti pallam, quam scorto dares? | (ironically) Have you stolen the mantle yet to give this creature? |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| 930 Ecastor qui subrupturum pallam promisit tibi. | He promised he would steal it from you, indeed he did! |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Non taces? | (aside to Philaenium) Shut up, won't you? |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ego dissuadebam, mater. | I tried to dissuade him, mother. |
| Art. | Art. |
| Bellum filium. istoscine patrem aequom est mores liberis largirier? nilne te pudet? | A pretty son! (to Demaenetus) Is this the way for a father to edify his children? Is there nothing you're ashamed of? (helps him off the couch by the ear) |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Pol, si aliud nil sit, tui me, uxor, pudet. | Oh Lord! You make me ashamed, my dear, if nothing else would. |
| Art. | Art. |
| Cano capite te cuculum uxor ex lustris rapit. | (guiding him toward the door) It's your dear that is dragging you from this den of vice, your hoary-headed cuckoo! |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Non licet manere—cena coquitur—dum cenem modo? | Mayn't I stay—dinner's being cooked—just till I've dined? |
| Art. | Art. |
| Ecastor cenabis hodie, ut dignus es, magnum malum. | Good heavens, sir! You shall dine as you deserve today—on dire distress. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Male cubandum est: iudicatum me uxor abducit domum. | (aside) It's a poorish night I'm in for: here I am sentenced, and my wife leading me off—home. (Argyrippus and Philaenium follow them to door) |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Dicebam, pater, tibi, ne matri consuleres male. | I kept telling you, father, not to play any tricks on mother. |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| De palla memento, amabo. | Remember about the mantle, there's a dear! |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| Iuben hanc hinc abscedere? | (to wife) Tell her to get out of here, won't you? |
| Art. | Art. |
| I domum. | (jerking him along) Home with you! |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| 940 Da savium etiam prius quam abis. | Do give me another naughty, naughty kiss before we part. |
| Dem. | Dem. |
| I in crucem. | Go to hell! |
| Phil. | Phil. |
| Immo intro potius. sequere hac me, mi anime. | Oh no, inside, instead, (to Argyrippus, as she goes back inside) Come along with me, darling. |
| Argyr. | Argyr. |
| Ego vero sequor. |
Indeed I will. [exeunt omnes. |
| [GREX] | EPILOGUE |
| (Spoken by the Company) | |
| Hic senex si quid clam uxorem suo animo fecit volup, neque novum neque mirum fecit nec secus quam alii solent; nec quisquam est tam ingenio duro nec tam firmo pectore, quin ubi quicque occasionis sit sibi faciat bene. nunc si voltis deprecari huic seni ne vapulet, remur impetrari posse, plausum si clarum datis. | If this old gentleman has indulged his inclinations a bit without informing his wife, he has done nothing new or strange, or different from what other men ordinarily do. No one has such an iron nature, such an unyielding heart, as not to do himself a good turn whenever he has any chance. So now in case you wish to beg the old fellow off from a beating, we opine that you can succeed, if you—give us some loud applause. |