"And anyway, if I've got to do my sewing in the barn I live in, I might as well not try at all. My fingers are so numb the minute I take off my mitts that I couldn't thread a needle."
Not only that, said the Omaha soldier, but you usually find you haven't any thread in your "housewife."
There seems to be something in favor of bachelor buttons, especially since the people who sew the buttons on new uniforms and coats always do a poor job.
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YES, HOW DO THEY?
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Private Pat: "Mike, what th' hell kind of fish be them ye're eatin'?"
Corporal Mike: "Hush, Pat; don't be disthplayin' yer ignorance—the ould Frinch la-ady might hear yeze! Thim's sairdeens!"
Pat: "Sairdeens, is ut? They're a small fish, ain't they? An' where, pray tell, do they grow?"
Mike: "Pat, I'm asthounded at yer ignorance of gogerfy! Thim little fish grow in the Atla-antic Ocean, the Pacific Ocean, the Injun Ocean, the Airctic Ocean, an'—oh, in all them oceans. An' the big fish, such as the whale, the halleybut, the shairk, an' all o' thim, they live off'n eatin' th' sairdeens!"
Pat: "They do, do they Mike? Thin phwaht I'd like to know is how th' hell do they iver open the box?"