HOW TO MAKE A NOVEL
TRY with me, and mix what will make a novel,
All hearts to transfix in house or hall or hovel:
Put the caldron on, set the bellows blowing;
We’ll produce anon something worth the showing.
Never mind your plot—’tisn’t worth the trouble;
Throw into the pot what will boil and bubble.
Character’s a jest—what’s the use of study?
All will stand the test that’s black enough and bloody.
Here’s the Newgate Guide, here’s the Causes Célèbres;