A woman who traveled a great deal in the West was known as the most inveterate “kicker” a certain hotel had ever known.
One evening after she had been served with dessert this lady, who was always complaining, asked the waiter why the dish served her was called “ice-cream pudding.”
“If you don’t like it, ma’am, I’ll bring you something else,” suggested the polite negro.
“Oh, it’s very nice,” responded the lady. “What I object to is that it should be called ice-cream pudding. It’s wrongly named. There should be ice cream served with it.”
“Yes, ma’am,” replied the waiter, “but that’s jest our name for it. Lots o’ dishes that way. Dey don’t bring you a cottage with cottage pudding, you know.”
During a certain cruise the first mate of a ship got to drinking to excess and was intoxicated for several days. One day, after having come out of this state, he examined the log book to see what had passed during his period of semi-forgetfulness. He was horrified to find entered in the book for the three days consecutively, “The first mate is drunk to-day.” He did not want this to stand as it would hardly be a good recommendation for him to the ship owners and asked the captain to remove the entries.
The captain replied, “It is the truth, is it not?” “Yes, but—” replied the mate. The captain interrupted him, “If it is the truth, the truth must stand. It is written in ink and can not be removed without injuring the book.”
A short time afterward the captain was taken ill and remained so for a week, and it devolved upon the mate to keep the log book. The captain on recovering from his illness got the book to examine it to see how the mate had done his duty. Imagine his consternation when he read in each of the seven days’ entries, “The captain is sober to-day.”