The captain immediately called the mate and indignantly questioned him in regard to these entries. The mate replied, “It is the truth, is it not?” “Yes, but—” replied the captain. The mate interrupted him, “If it is the truth, the truth must stand, must it not? I have your word that the writing in ink can not be erased.”
“It was the first week of his honeymoon,” said the hotel barber, “and he came in and sat down near the door to wait his turn. I yelled ‘Next’ at him two or three times when my chair was vacant, but he was dreaming and didn’t hear me. Finally I touched him on the shoulder and told him I was ready for him.
“‘What do you want me to do?’ he asked.
“‘Why, get in the chair if you want anything,’ I replied. ‘This is a barber shop.’
“‘Oh, yes,’ he said, and then he got into the chair. He leaned back, so I let the chair down and shaved him. He didn’t have a word to say. When I finished him up he got out of the chair and took the check over to the cashier. He paid and started out. When halfway through the door he stopped.
“‘Say,’ he said to me, ‘what did you do to me?’
“‘I shaved you,’ I said.
“‘Darn the luck,’ he replied, ‘I wanted a haircut.’”